School did height/weight check without my knowledge. Results say DD is 1kg away from 'official' Clininally Obese category. How should i approach school about this?

[LoneStranger]

I am so angry that DD was weighed without my knowledge and would not have consented to this if i'd had a letter. DD is almost 5 and weighed 22kg and 1.4m tall (or short). She is one of the two 'larger' girls in her class.

To look at her, she looks 'full' but not 'fat'. To pick her up, she feels as though she has bricks in her pockets. She doesnt eat a lot of junk food and i really do think she is heavy-boned.

I have tried to restrict her junk food intake since we had the letter and 'leaflet of advice'. DD was unwelll for a few days before Christmas and ate very little during that time. She has just got out of the shower and i can notice that her belly does not appear as 'pot' as i am accustomed to.

I feel so sad, for her and me but feel i should say something to the school. Im not deflecting blame. At the parents consultation I mentioned that DD had said that some of the others had laughed at her once when they got changed for PE. Her teacher said that she considered DD to be 'solid' but not fat. A week later we got the letter.

DD does weekly swimming lessons and 1 and 1/2 hours Stagecoach and is driven 7 miles to and from school.

Any advice greatfully received. Thanks

What's the problem with weighing her? Presumably they were doing everyone and not just her?

I think this is all part of the general drive to counter obesity in children - and as you obviously already have concerns, then I don't understand your reaction.

If she's going to be teased at school they will be doing this already and not because of the results of the weighing - as you have already said.

And if she has got a weight problem, then don't 'try' to restrict her junk food intake, stop it altogether!

Sorry if this sounds harsh - but I don't understand what kind of advice you're asking for.

LoneStranger my dd is almost 4 and only just over 1m tall. Is the 1.4m a typo in your op? I only ask because I think that is very tall for a child of that age. Incidentally my dd is (I think) about 21kg. She was a large baby at birth. She is "average" height imo and slightly chunky rather than fat imo.

tbh if her school did these checks on her as long as it was handled professionally and sensitively I would welcome any advice if they thought she was overweight.

I would feel upset if any medical intervention/treatment was done without our consent, so understand you feeling angry about that part.

hth

1.4m sounds really tall for a nearly 5 year old - DS is just over 5 and probably about 1.1m I think (and he is about average height). He weighs probably about 16.5kg though.

The report stated that a letter advising parents had been sent prior to the children being weighed. I would not have consented, as is my right. My concern is that she weighs more than average; she does not visibly look large and actually waers clothes a smaller age than she is. I want to raise it with the school because I feel she should not be weighed or otherwise without my consent and that any 'management' of her weight is done together. I often ask what she has had for lunch and its usually 'cake and custard'. I have 'tried' to reduce her junk foods, but i only got the letter just before the xmas hols and i hope you can appreciate that the festive foods are not all 'healthy options'.

If she is 1kg away from being clincally obese then I am fairly sure that she will not jsut be heavy boned - they do allow for this in the charts thaty use.

I would pop into your gp or health visitor for some proper advise about her weight, they should tell you properly how her wieght is being calculated and take into account her bone structure etc.

Sadly it is now clear that the majority of parents of obese or overweight children do not realise that their child is that heavy and do not think their child looks overweight. I think it is to do with the way a child grows day by day and so peopel who see them each day are not aware of the changes in the same way as someone who sees them infrequently.

I would imagine that the school felt the need to weigh her to highlight the potential to you in order that you can take stps to ensure she is as healthy as possible. I would also imagine that they weighed all the children not just yours.

Sorry meant to say dd is almot 5 not almost 4.

I don't think any teacher would dare say a child was fat to the parents, even if they thought it.

My DC are both in the normal weight-height category, but are very solid - both DH and I are very muscular builds, and so are the DC. So they wear the same size clothes as friends who feel loads lighter if you pick them up.

Maybe your DD is a muscular build, but is also carrying a bit of extra puppy fat and would lose it fairly quickly if you cut out junk completely and gave more veg and more exercise. Could you incorporate a bit of walking into the school run by parking half a mile from the school?

I don't get you. What do you mean "how should I approach school"?

My approach in your situation, if I approached school at all, would be to ask for their advice in handling any bullying and then to ask to be referred on to a professional that could help.

If your dd is so overweight, and you are not managing to get it under control, then you are setting her up for a school-life of misery I am afraid.

If there is name-calling already, by the time she is a teenager, that will escalate badly.

Sorry, if I sound blunt, but I would treat this as a wake-up call.

Sorry, have wriggly 15 month old trying to contribute to my posts! DD is 1.04m.

Re the clothes, my dd also wears either "right" size (i.e. age 4-5) or age 3-4 years as well.

Re the clothes, my dd also wears either "right" size (i.e. age 4-5) or age 3-4 years as well.

DS wears various sizes of clothes - ranges from 2-3 to 5-6 depending on what they are and where they come from. Glad it was a typo - she would be v tall

I have to say that the amount of excersice you say she has does not seem that much to me either, unless she plays outside most of the rest of the time?

You are right, Christmas is a bad time to try anything like healthy eating and you would have made her miserable to try and do it then. I guess you could try New Year New Menu? You are right that school lunches are not great. Would she consider packed lunches? At leaset you can control those?

Can a medical type comment on the concept of "heavy-boned"?

I agree with the other posters. If you dont do something about it now the likelihood of her getting heavier and becoming obese will be higher. You need to look at her diet now and change it. This is for her benefit in the long term.
You need to face this issue.I think its a good thing that chidren are being weighed at school because it can highlight all sorts of problems, overweight and underweight. Also these issues could be due to undiagnosed medical conditions.So there are alot of positives for schools to weigh children.

Thanks for all the post so far. I am feeling a bit sad at the suggestion that i amy not be 'managing to get dds weight under control' as though i am failing her as a parent.

I do intend to speak to the school; i object to her being weighed and measured without my consent. They said they sent a letter; i did not receive it and would not have consented. Of course i cannot turn the clock back, but would insist on my express consent, not just assumed consent because of a letter they had sent. Of course i appreciate that i need to respond positively to this negative report, and will do so, rather than ignore it.

Do you know whether you are giving her suitable portion size as well as a balanced meal?

Definitely speak to GP - 1.4 metres sounds very very tall for her age - so it probably wouldn't be straightforward working out whether she's the right weight for her age taking her height into account. If you feel very strongly about the consent issue, then write in to school about that.

Would try and encourage more exercise - swimming or softplay or park trips.

I had a thread on here once, just after I got a letter home from the school nurse re: my dd's weight.

She too was one of two 'heavier' girls in her class.

I was sent a letter to make an appointment with a dietician, which I did.

At the meeting the dietician asked my dd what she had for breakfast, lunch, tea etc.. She asked her what her favourite snacks were & whether or not she ate sweets daily. When I say she asked dd, that's exactly what she did...she totally ignored me!!

Anyway, long story short, I cut back even further, she told me a child dd's age (6 at the time) didn't need two slices of bread in her lunch, just one. Didn't need two weetabix, just one... etc... She told me she didn't want DD to lose any weight, she just didn't want her to gain any either.

She had to go back 6 months later & we were happy to see she had lost a lb or two, though she had also grown.

I think all it takes is to think very carefully about what she's getting to eat..

We tried as a family to cut back, not draw attention to the fact that she was eating less.

She's still doing v.well...wish the same could be said for me!!!!

Blue-stocking, I would place money that the term "heavy-boned" does not exist in medical terminology.

Bones are a particular density, so if someone has relatively large ie. long bones (meaning they are tall), then of course that person will weigh more than someone smaller in stature.

Muscles are relatively dense so weigh more, so a heavily-muscled person will weigh more (think body builders)

After the above considerations, how much you weigh is to due with how much fat you are carrying.

My ds's school sent a letter home which indicated that if we did not respond otherwise, the school would assume that consent had been given. Perhaps your child's school did the same but your dd lost the letter?

there is some weird statistic that I am not going to dredge up but along the lines of - the parents are the last to see it.

I wouldn't approach the school - other than to ask their advice maybe? Best of luck to you.

I dont think you should approach the school. I think you need to drive 6.5 miles to school and walk the last half mile. Or scooter it or roller skate it or something.

Perhaps I'm dense but why would anyone object to their child being measured and weighed? I understood that they sent the letters out so that you could attend to ask questions etc. not for consent. OK my children are older so maybe I'm remembering wrong.