School did height/weight check without my knowledge. Results say DD is 1kg away from 'official' Clininally Obese category. How should i approach school about this?

[LoneStranger]

I am so angry that DD was weighed without my knowledge and would not have consented to this if i'd had a letter. DD is almost 5 and weighed 22kg and 1.4m tall (or short). She is one of the two 'larger' girls in her class.

To look at her, she looks 'full' but not 'fat'. To pick her up, she feels as though she has bricks in her pockets. She doesnt eat a lot of junk food and i really do think she is heavy-boned.

I have tried to restrict her junk food intake since we had the letter and 'leaflet of advice'. DD was unwelll for a few days before Christmas and ate very little during that time. She has just got out of the shower and i can notice that her belly does not appear as 'pot' as i am accustomed to.

I feel so sad, for her and me but feel i should say something to the school. Im not deflecting blame. At the parents consultation I mentioned that DD had said that some of the others had laughed at her once when they got changed for PE. Her teacher said that she considered DD to be 'solid' but not fat. A week later we got the letter.

DD does weekly swimming lessons and 1 and 1/2 hours Stagecoach and is driven 7 miles to and from school.

Any advice greatfully received. Thanks

As a comparison - When my ds was 4.5 he was 104 tall and weighed just under 17 kg

for comparison
My 6 yr old dd is 1.04 m tall
Weighs 16.5 kgs
The reason for the obese call is the disparity between height and weight
Dd is on 0.4 centile for height 25th for weight. Dd gets very little in way of treats. 1 biscuit a day, sometimes a pudding - sensible, and eats a very healthy diet.
I think on your figures your dd does sound heavy and best action is to ask school and health advisor for guidance.

So when can Year Six kids expect to be weighed? I have every sympathy with you, LoneStranger, completely understand where you're coming from. I would expect a letter before any medical intervention.

I checked that link posted earlier but can't see timescales. Anyone know?

Oh Newgirl, you made me laugh. I also remeber getting weighed only days before DD was born. I protested to the midwife that it was not fair because i'd obviously eaten loads over Xmas. Didnt stop her weighing me and i even checked behind me as i though she must have put a foot on the scales as a joke! She hadnt and the reading was not funny!

I have rechecked all the papaerwork that i received and signed for DDs school. I photocopy any that have to be returned and date any with returned tear-off slips. I am absolutely certain that we did not recieve a letter. Im sure it must have been 'lost in transit'. Its just a shame that none of the letters asking for money seem to have gone the same way!

I read your OP and was very shocked that 1m40 and 22kg could be considered clinically obese. I then read the thread and found you meant 1m04 and 22kg, which is on the plump side, but please don't panic. Your DD is only little and the very best way to tackle this is by ensuring she doesn't gain any weight at all, and letting her grow. Don't put her on a restrictive diet, just a healthy one, with lots of walking.

do they get weighed at 5 (Reception) and 11? or is it year one, can't remember...

My DD is 4 and was weighed in reception.

Anyfucjerforamincepie - PMSL at your name, rolling around still

OP - you should approach the school about the bullying and about weight management if you need help with it. I would welcome weighing in our school.

its all coming back to me now - she was a thin very composed older gp obviously not taking my hormones into account

i asked 'how do i lose weight then' and she said 'if you are offered a biscuit, eat one not two'

well shes not wrong but it didnt help my mood at the time

Just beware, LS, that all the fruit your daughter is eating isn't necessarily healthy either, as it is still sugar - and even the veg she's eating is still sweet - and tomatoes are another fruit!

paddington, i know exactly what you mean about how unfair it can feel when you see how their peers eat. i think that's when it gets difficult - when you have no puddings, no sweets, no crisps, no squash, limited juice, home cooked food, reasonable activity levels, yet still they don't drop the weight.

i refuse to limit portions so much that she goes hungry - i have a friend who does this (her dp has "issues") and the second her kids get to mine they start asking for food and juice and what have you, it's horrible. and the way they have to threaten them to stop eating at parties etc. i will not do that (a breeding ground for a whole host of other eating issues if you ask me) just to satisfy other people's opinions of what my kids should look like.

i think activity levels are key - walking wherever possible, and getting them into as many different clubs and activities as they're interested in, being active as a family on bikes, walks etc. that way, when the torpor of adolescence hits (girls especially) they should have some active interests and confidence in their own body (irrespective of size) that will hopefully carry them through.

BIWI, she wont touch green veg, except for cucumber. She likes carrots and baked beans (does that count?) She eats apples, sometimes, but the fruit i have been giving are as an alternative to crisps and biscuits. Any suggestions please?

Baked beans are not "fruit & veg" but carbohydrate (ie equivalent of potatoes or bread).

I agree with Puppy that activity levels are vital - because state education offers such rubbish PE opportunities (only TWO HOURS A WEEK), I fork out for a lot of after-school clubs - ballet, modern, gymnastics, swimming, football etc etc

and walk to and from school, although your journey is too far for this, you could definitely park further away and walk the rest, or go to a playground after school for an hour now evenings are drawing out again.

LS, are you perhaps a bit angry about her being weighed because it is now indisputable that she is big? All places to hide have gone.

It has obviously motivated you to make changes, so really it is a good thing?

Regarding not consenting to a weigh in, that would have singled out your DD as much as if they had chosen her to be the only child to be weighed because she is big IYSWIM.

It is important to keep up with how a child is growing into school years, not just when they are a young baby/toddler, not just for obesity, but other growth issues too, which need picking up as soon as possible. Sometimes a change in growth velocity is the only marker of disease.

does it help to know that we dont even buy crisps and biscuits? they not in the house - we have them at parties or out sometimes but just not that on the kids radar

take her to the market/shop to choose some fruit/veg? get her cooking it herself? soup? or do the exercise thing instead - thats far easier - swim lessons, tennis lessons etc

and they don't call out the weight or anything - the children don't know wyo weighs what, or certainly my dd was totally unaware of what it was for really

I have packed all the uneaten sweets and mince pies ina tint to take to work tomorrow. Its her b-day on Thursday and we will of course have cake. Her panto-party is on Saturday and there will be more cake. The snack foods do include carrot sticks, bread sticks and melon slices and the drinks on both days will be fruit juice (watered down). The sweets will go in the party bags for her guests; DD should be distracted by her DS and not notice the absence of sweets for her.

Just read the green veg question - would she eat soup?

Homemade pea and ham, broccoli, leek and potato are all very easy. I use soup as a sneaky way of getting veg into my DD, and myself actually.

Griddled courgette?

You can make really nice sauces for pasta by blitzing rocket or watercress in a blender, bit of lemon juice and reduced fat creme fraiche.

slices of red and yellow pepper are attractive for childrn, cucmber, carrot sticks,my sons love slices of beetroot.
does she eat things like cauliflower? cabbage? sprouts?

tbh-i would just cook all these 'normal' veg and give her some with every meal-and you have them too. she will probably get used to them eventually.

what about peas? broad beans? they may be popular if she likes the bean texture?

My dd was weighed by the school nurse who takes over from the Health visitor when a child starts school. we did get a letter and were invited to attend the screenings but I seem to remember the original; consent being tied up in the stuff I signed when I joined my Dr's and was assigned a health visitor for dd as a baby.

At her pre-school check the HV told me her next check would take place at school by the school nurse.

Nothing wrong with giving fruit - just wanted to make you aware of the sugar content. Cucumber is great, so give this as a snack instead, along with something like a small piece of cheese, or a breadstick

But I wouldn't automatically be giving a snack either - this is a habit it's easy to get into. A glass of milk or a drink of water can sometimes suffice. And I would not be offering fruit juice (even watered down) either, but water.

And before you ask, yes I did this with both of my children. I'm not trying to lecture you but give you some suggestions.

We are not really a 'soup' family, but its worth a try. I even turned my nose up at broccili and corgettes, but I WILL try. Promise.

It might sound a bit 'drastic' re her birthday, but on the back of Xmas stickies, i dont think she will mind too much and is unlikely to notice. If her b-day were in June thoug, she would resist im sure.

BTW, a panto-party is where the invited children go to see the chosen panto, and have quite good seats. DD has front row seats. Towards the end of the performance they call out a number children to go up on stage and becaome part of the cast and 'act' in a group scene. DD and two of her guests will go on the stage. The children may choose to wear their own fancy dress to attend the show, in keeping with the occasion. All the birthday guests get party bags and a balloon. Obvioulsy such parties only happen at certain times of the year. I really like the concept and is reasonably priced and a novel idea. I cant wait and am probably looking forward to it as much as DD.

Mine like raw veg, especially raw broccoli, cabbage etc, tastes quite different to when it is cooked, that might be worth a try with some inventive dips.