School did height/weight check without my knowledge. Results say DD is 1kg away from 'official' Clininally Obese category. How should i approach school about this?

[LoneStranger]

I am so angry that DD was weighed without my knowledge and would not have consented to this if i'd had a letter. DD is almost 5 and weighed 22kg and 1.4m tall (or short). She is one of the two 'larger' girls in her class.

To look at her, she looks 'full' but not 'fat'. To pick her up, she feels as though she has bricks in her pockets. She doesnt eat a lot of junk food and i really do think she is heavy-boned.

I have tried to restrict her junk food intake since we had the letter and 'leaflet of advice'. DD was unwelll for a few days before Christmas and ate very little during that time. She has just got out of the shower and i can notice that her belly does not appear as 'pot' as i am accustomed to.

I feel so sad, for her and me but feel i should say something to the school. Im not deflecting blame. At the parents consultation I mentioned that DD had said that some of the others had laughed at her once when they got changed for PE. Her teacher said that she considered DD to be 'solid' but not fat. A week later we got the letter.

DD does weekly swimming lessons and 1 and 1/2 hours Stagecoach and is driven 7 miles to and from school.

Any advice greatfully received. Thanks

She does it on Saturdays. However I work at an after school Friday one and most children are absolutely fine.

I highly reccomend Riverford boxes. Their stuff is lovely and the box contents are posted on the internet a few days before you finalise your order.

We eat much healthier sonce getting them and I save a fortune from not going to the supermarket.

Just wanted to post to say two things - which are:

1. You are NOT alone - my DS adores food - he loves cooking, eating, everything about it. He loves it. Sadly this has had an inevitable consequence and he is undoubtedly overweight. He plays lots of sports but this does not go far enough considering his absolute love of of food. We've had to accept the inevitable and have cut back on the amount he is allowed to eat.

1. It seems to me that you are angry with the school unnecessarily, and also in a form of denial. It's a normal reaction but it does sound as though your DD is overweight and you DO need to help her. Getting cross with the school for weighing her, is only going to get in the way of you helping her properly.

I would also like to say thanks for posting this.

My kids are unlikley to get weighed at school as I have never heard of it happening and I am aware that my ds is 'solid'. I have checked his weight and he is 91st centile compared with 75th height so I need to keep an eye on his weight. There are some good tips on here altho more complicated as ds is hypoglycaemic so needs regular food.

Interestingly I have been told not to use wholemaeal pasta etc for children under 10 as it is too bulky for them and fills them up before they get full nutrients from other foods - anyone able to comment on this?

SummerNights that's right:
"The under-fives need to get lots of nutrients and energy from their food because they are growing and developing so quickly. But small children only have tiny tums and can?t usually cope with big meals. This means that the foods they eat have to provide energy and nutrients in a compact form. The low-fat, high-fibre foods recommended for adults don?t fit the bill - they tend to be bulky and low in calories so tiny tots can become full before they?ve had all the energy and nutrients they need."

some tips here

and here

and here

and here

last one!!!

A friend of a friend told me she was not really overweight because the size and shape of her head was affecting her BMI calculation This was a professional high achieving woman who was totally convinced she was right

this is a brilliant thread, so supportive and full of good advice.

AndIsayhey my DS was very skinny, horrifically so (he has SN/genetic/meatabolic and physical disabilities) but WAS above the 50% centile as his head was so big (macrocephally).

He has filled out a little, and his skull has stopped growing so fast. Although he is 4 and wearing adult sized hats, he wears the same sized riding hat as me. His weight on the cetile charts was influenced by the size of his head.

LS My DH is obsessed with our DD's weight (his sisters both have serious eating issues which one has most def passed on to her one of her DD's and he has some odd ideas about weight too ) as she is, ahem, well covered. I took her to GP aged 5 and to a different GP when she was 7 (as we had moved house) I met both (women GPs) for a consultation beforehand, so nothing was discussed in front of DD. Both times I was told 'she looks like a normal little girl to me.' She was on the 91st centile for height and 98th weight

She is now 9 and weighs more or less the same as she did when she was 7, the GP just advised us to try and keep her at the same weight rather than to make her loose some.

We are lucky she goes to a school where they play lots of sport - 4 games lessons per week, inc weekly X country - we have an active lifestyle - have horses and enjoy walking, nordic walking and general outdoor activities. We eat very healthily, in fact the most unhealthy meals she eats are at school!

She is the 3rd tallest in her year and maybe the second chubbiest, but there seem to be a huge number of very skinny DC at her school (girls school).

We have had to get tough on portion control, as I think that was our failing. Also trying to teach her when she has had enough, we may all want a second slice of cake (for example) but we know that one, every now and then for a treat, is ample.

Good luck in your veg quest!

PS to all those that at 'heavy bones' - bone density scan, anyone? Surely a lower density bone would weigh less than a higher density bone? Obviously the more weight bearing exercise one does (along with correct eating) helps.

PPS Also 3 words endomorph, ectomorph and mesomorph.

I've seen 'puppy fat' mentioned a few times on this thread - I thought there was no such thing?

have you checked her BMI?

here

Should give you some idea of how overweight she is.

I personally wouldn't be miffed at school weighing dd without permission, I think it is better to know these things that to stick your head in the sand until it is too late

Aren't all children weighted when they see the school nurse at the start of school. I thought that was one of the many consent forms you sign when your child joins Yr R.

Anyway, that aside, I thought DS2 would get a similar letter. He is very heavy, off the scale for weight in fact. However, he is tall and extremely well built.

I agree with what Marmaduke's post - bones count. My DS has huge bones and I do think this makes a difference. He has an adopted cousin of almost the same age and only a little shorter in height and when they sit side by side you can see the difference in their bone structure. My DS's feet are about 4 sizes bigger for a start.

We are a family of big heads - I have trouble finding hats and the boys are both wearing at least teenager sizes if not adults. Bones make a difference.

DS is also a muscular child. He was built to be a prop forward for England. I am not for one moment denying that he is well covered and could afford to lose weight without turning into skin and bone. He is chubby BUT he doesn't have a fat stomach - no paunch or overly round tummy, and he doesn't have a fat face.

I have no doubt some children are bigger than others without it being a health issue and I do find the whole BMI thing a bit dubious - no differentiation between male and female, no taking into account of muscle/fat ratios. If body builders without an ounce of fat can be clinically obese according to a BMI rating then you have to wonder about its usefulness.

I also think 'puppy fat' although not a medical term is a reality. Look at how babies lose that chubbiness when they turn into toddlers - they are losing fat, changing shape and gain muscle. That process continues throughout childhood.

Anyway, although DS is technically overweight we didn't get any warning letter about his potential obesity. Maybe they don't do them round here. Or maybe they used their common sense and realised that he is naturally a large child and that there really isn't a great deal to worry about so long as he doesn't start getting any bigger. Hopefully it was the later.

Niecie - Can I ask what do you mean "technically overweight"? Is his BMI too high? Or his weight and height centiles very different?

Niecie and Marmaduke I should have explained that this woman had a very average sized head and she was clearly overweight... Maybe her head was bigger than average when she was a child but def not when I last saw her!

As far as I know BMI is a range, so (in the case of adults) if someone is, say, 5ft 6in (167.6cm) their normal weight would be anything between 8st 2 lb (52.3Kg) and 10st 7lb (68.2Kg). Isn't that enough to allow for 'heavy bones', gender differences, etc?

As for kids, I thought different charts were used for boys and girls and aren't they "based on a range" aswell?

Bmi is notoriously wrong and innaccurate, it's a bad way of measuring "correct" height. The best way is by body fat as even skinny people can have internal body fat which is unhealthy and debatably worse than someone who is "overweight".

I opted out for my daughter to be weighed in school when they sent the letters out. I don't think it's healthy for young children to start thinking about their weight. As a parent you can see (or should) if a child is eating too much junk food, exercising too little etc and do something about it. The last thing I want is for my daughter to have food issues.

In case anyone is wondering I'm not overweight and neither is my daughter, I'm a size 8 (well squeezing in to them after Christmas indulgences) and I used to weigh even less. Before I had children I was about 7 stone at my lowest and thought I was fat, I looked at the photos of myself the other day and I looked awful, so thin that I cannot believe I used to think I was fat. I'm 5ft 3 btw.

gagarin - yes his BMI is too high. His height and weight pretty much match. He is a bit heavier than he should be perhaps.

I am not burying my head in the sand (I don't think) but he isn't fat in the big stomach, fat face sort of way, which strikes me as unhealthy. Actually I am more worried about DS1 who has put a lot of weight on over the last year and does have a big stomach and a podgy face now. I know he is too fat even though his BMI is closer to what it should be than DS2's. (I also know what causes it - portion size and not enough exercise due to some SN issues).

AndIsayHey - no I don't think BMI is adequate. DH is never going to be able to get within the normal weigh range for instance. If he did he really would have to be ill and to have lost a lot of muscle. He was a gym regular and sporty when I met him. Not in the least fat and still he was a stone over the normal BMI range. DS2 takes after him for build.

Bmi doesn't take muscle into account. Muscle is denser than fat, it weighs the same clearly, just denser.

Exactly JodieO. I read somewhere ages ago that both Arnold Schwartanegger(sp) and Tom Cruise were obese according to BMI. Clearly this is nonsense.

Niecie BMI guidelines already exclude body builders/weight lifters, etc and pregnant women as a matter of course.
Because BMI does not apply to relatively small population groups does it automatically make it an inadequate tool to assist in assessing whether a significant part of the population is overweight?

JodieO I agree that visceral fat is something very important that BMI fails to identify/measure.

I haven't thread all this thread, but my son (who is white) is a bit on the tubby side although he has slimed out a lot. He did get weighed at school at four, but much my surprise we never got any letter about him being overwieght.

We have managed to get his weight down by watching portion size and increasing exercise. The aim at this age is not weight loss, but allowing the child's height to catch up with their weight. It takes months or possibly years. Its not a quick fix that you can do over christmas. It means a radical change in lifestyle for the whole family.

A good guide is that a portion should fit into the child's hand. You might have a portion of protein, a portion of carbohydrate and two portions of vegetables and a small pudding as meal.

It is not constructive to say a child is overwieght and then offer no help. I hate the governant bully tactics. If they are going to write a letter to parents then they should offer an appointment with a dietician.

I think you need to think about ways of building exercise into your daughter's life. She really needs to be doing an hour a day of exercise. The half and hour swiming and stagecoach is a good start though, but nowhere near enough.

Prehaps if you parked the car half mile away from the school she could walk the rest.

Lots of people have muscle though as opposed to fat; or both, and it doesn't take them into account at all. It's a flawed way to measure weight imo and from studies I've read, far better to use body fat through calipers or the more expensive way of the machines where you sit in them and they do it.

I do think people overlook thin people and assume they're healthy though, I'm thinish and not all that healthy (something I'm trying to resolve but I have bad knees which hurt and I find it hard to excercise). Thin doesn't automatically = healthy just as overweight (in reason) doesn't automatically = unheathly. I think that's especially relevant where children are concerned. We need to make sure they have a good body image and not have food issues, that would be far more of a worry than being slightly overweight to me.

Also, I believe children should be allowed to eat when they're hungry, healthy food, this allows them to regulate their food intake and listen to their own bodies to determine when they are full and recognise the signals for themselves. It's a good attitude to have with food I think. Only you know when you are hungry or full and children are no different.

Children shoot up so fast that maybe their bodies need the extra food for a while to compensate for what's coming?

AndIsayHey - I have no faith in it. Who draws the line about who considered muscular enough to be a bodybuilder/weightlifter? I have never seen exclusion on a BMI chart either (not that I study them on a regular basis so I stand to be correct on that if needs be).

It also takes no account of the distribution of fat. Fat on the backside is not as dangerous as a fat stomach. For adults hip to waist ratios coupled with waist measurements are more informative imo.

BMI is over simplified.

BMI is a screening tool only. It is not intended to be the be-all and end all of weight measurement. Like most screening tests it is an indicator of a problem. Athletes and bodybuilders do not use BMI because they have access to much more accurate measures (and although bodybuilders with very low fat might have spurious BMIs they are still very unhealthy). Different scales are used for children, and for males and females. If you are a long way from the middle range then there is something to be investigated. It might be that there is an explantation for the high (or low score) but for most people it will be very simple, a need for more exercise and less food (or different food). Catching problems in childhood means they can be easily managed and lifelong good eating and exercise habits established.

There is lots of evidence that diseases related to obesity are increasing, and being fit and healthy has obvious benefits to the individual. Unfortunately lots of us are not that great at recognising when there is a problem and then doing something about it. Sounds like LS's family are well on the way to a healthier life, with some small adjustments to their diet and more regular exercise. Of course being overweight isn't the only health issue, and fitness is a very important (and often overlooked). However it is a great deal easier to get a little more fit and eat a little better than it is to try and do something about it when you are seriously overweight, when eating habits are engrained and exercise much harder work.

Personally I think children should be fairly skinny, as they are naturally still fairly energetic, it's just a matter of harnessing that energy and finding things for them to enjoy to carry those habits into the rest of their lives. We have been lucky to have a playground next to the children's schools, and so we spend an hour after school with them running around. Other ways to encourage outdoor play are to encourage boredom. The less your child has to do (TV, games, books etc) the more likely they are to want to go and play with their friends.

Oh and having been married to a bodybuilder, you are talking about (at the more sane end of the scale) eating seven meals a day and doing very intense workouts three or four times a week. Plus a lot of cardio work for those that are trying to lose body fat (this is separate from gaining muscle), dietary supplements and restricting water intake. For those at the competitive end it involves injecting yourself with drugs designed for livestock. Very few of the average fit population behave like either sane or insane bodybuilders!

Put it this way, when I cycled 1 1/2 hours (with hills) to work every day and did fairly intensive weight training twice a week I gained half a stone. That probably included losing half a stone of fat and putting on a stone in muscle. I was still right in the middle of my BMI.

OP- I would be annoyed if dd was wieghed without my knowledge.
i personally think that a bit of junk food as a treat is fine as long as accompanied by a well balanced diet. restricting 'bad' food altogether makes it more attractive ime. Certainlt the word 'diet' is the kiss of death.