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Original poster

Reassurance needed please after 9mth dd's assessment!!

57 replies

Dragonfly74 · 10/12/2008 16:08

DD had her 9mth assessment on monday and HV told me she should be crawling by now and wants to see her again at 12mths to check her progress.

On one hand i'm really annoyed that health professionals treat all babies as statistics, after all babies are unique and do things at different ages.
But on the other hand i'm worried that dd's development is delayed.
She can sit unaided and rolls onto her tummy, she attemps to crawl but she just shuffles a bit then gives up.

The HV also suggested that I stop bfing as dd still wakes for one feed in the night HV says she should be sleeping through by now. DD is my 2nd child and DS didn't sleep through until we moved him into a bed at 2yrs old.

I just feel a bit confused and worried and would like to know what your 9mth olds are/were like.

Thanks

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starkadder · 10/12/2008 16:16

Is this for real??

Our baby is only 8 months old (not crawling) so not from much experience but it sounds to me like your HV is an idiot. I know plenty of babies who haven't crawled for ages and ages, also know that some never do at all.

Sleeping through the night thing complete nonsense too. Any fule kno that BF till 12 mths is recommended. If you're happy feeding once in the night then stick with it I say. And report your HV for being a scaremongering old fool.

Original poster
Dragonfly74 · 10/12/2008 16:23

Thanks starkadder

tbh I was pretty shocked at being told to cut out bfing, DD has woken a little more in the night over the last few weeks as she's cutting teeth but the way I see it is she doesn't have a dummy and if bfing comforts her then thats fine by me...yes i'm very tired but it won't be forever.

OP posts:
starkadder · 10/12/2008 16:36

sounds to me like everything fine

BouncingTinsel · 10/12/2008 16:39

My 11mo still isn't sleeping through that we have started night weaning.
My friend's ds who is the same age didn't start crawling until about a month ago, now he can give my ds a run for his money even though he started crawling at 7mo!!

GivePeasAChance · 10/12/2008 16:41

Just imagine that meeting never happened and carry on as you were

thisisyesterday · 10/12/2008 16:42

I agree with starkadder. Tons of babies aren't crawling at 9 months, it's absolutely nothing to be worried about.
and as for giving up bf. just because the HV thinks that your child should be sleeping through the night doesn't mean she should.
if she needs food/comfort then you are right to provide it.

you know sometimes I think HV's just want to say SOMETHING. they don't care what it is, they just have this weird urge to say something and come out with whatever crap springs to mind.

argh! they do my head in.
apologies to any nice HV's out there, I know you exist somewhere, i jus thave yet to meet you lol

whomovedmychocolate · 10/12/2008 16:43

Bollocks! Utter bollocks! DD didn't crawl to 11 months and then it was backwards. But is now starting to read at two. So your HV is mad! Ignore her!

Oh and how you feed your child and when really does have bog all to do with her - if you are happy with the situation, don't waste a second thinking about her silly ideas of what constitutes good practice

Original poster
Dragonfly74 · 10/12/2008 16:46

thisisyesterday
you know sometimes I think HV's just want to say SOMETHING. they don't care what it is, they just have this weird urge to say something and come out with whatever crap springs to mind.

I couldn't agree more...As I said to DH, even if we had done everything completely by the book the HV would still probably find something to pick us up on.

OP posts:
whomovedmychocolate · 10/12/2008 16:50

Agree with Dragonfly - mine even admitted as much she said 'well you obviously know what you are doing but I'm here for an hour so shall I tell you the latest recommendations?'

HelenMc1 · 10/12/2008 16:53

My 11 month old has only recently started crawling and when I say 'crawling' I mean pushing himself along like a beached turtle - and he only really does that because he is desperate to get his paws on my husbands mobile phone (!)

Anyway, ignore the silly woman.

DECKmuppetWITHBOUGHSOFHOLLY · 10/12/2008 16:57

my ds 2 is 13 months and not crawling. my hv said it's fine as his back is stong he just has no inclination (and a 4 year old brother who he gets to do everything for him )

I admit I do worry sometimes but he's just different from ds 1 who did everything quickly.

mummyofboys · 10/12/2008 17:04

OMG why are these people allowed to come into contact with mothers. Stupid cow !!!!

They have a box to tick and a chart to go by. If we all fitted into this box and onto her chart, she wouldn't have a job ... hey presto !!

Gorionine · 10/12/2008 17:36

I do know several babies who have never crawled. They went srtaight from Shuffeling on their bottoms to walking. RE bfeeding the only people who should be allowed to decide when to stop are yourself and your DD. Did you complain that She was waking you up for a feed at night?

Original poster
Dragonfly74 · 10/12/2008 17:45

Gorionine
No I didn't complain that she was waking up. I like bfing, I feel like its the one special thing that I can do for her that no-one else can.

OP posts:
Gorionine · 10/12/2008 17:54

Totally agree with you as I am Bfeeding as well> I was just checking just how out of order she was! Sorry I you felt I was having a go.

nuttygirl · 10/12/2008 17:57

Tell her to bog off

My dd didn't start to crawl until 2 weeks before her first birthday. Though when she did she crawled very well iykwim.

As a baby I never really crawled and my neice didn't crawl or walk til she was 2 . Neice had been referred to specialists but she was just lazy and walked not long after her appointment

nuttygirl · 10/12/2008 17:58

niece - can't type today

Original poster
Dragonfly74 · 10/12/2008 18:00

no problem Gorionine I didn't think you were having a go

OP posts:
asteamedpoater · 10/12/2008 18:00

I can't believe anyone should be so interfering. There's nothing remotely abnormal about your child still waking once in the night for milk and not crawling. Your HV seems intent on causing anxiety where none is justified.

crokky · 10/12/2008 18:07

Good gracious me. My DD will be 9m in a few days - she can't crawl or sit up unaided (she can roll over). She wakes up 4x a night for bfeeds. I happened to see the doctor today for something unrelated. Not remotely concerned. Honestly, forget it. My DS was the same at 9m - there's no problem.

Sawyer64 · 10/12/2008 18:11

My DS (12) never crawled.Pulled himself up at 10 mths and cruised,never crawled.Started walking at 16 mths.

DD1(4) never crawled,sat still whilst all her friend moved around her,and was perfectly content to just watch.Pulled herself up and took her first steps at 15 mths.

DD2(2)Started crawling at 1yr old,started walking at 14 mths.

All DC's are different,thats what gets me,they see so many DC's,they know they all develop at different rates,so why not "apply" their experience????

Take everything they say with "a pinch of salt" IMO,listen to your own instincts and advice from friends and family you trust that aren't trying to "score points".

littleboyblue · 10/12/2008 18:12

My ds didn't crawl til he was 10 months, and I had the same thing at his assessment. The things she saaid he should be doing included crawling, pulling himself to standing, picking up tiny objects (not like a pea but tiny)
IME most hv are shite and you should just ignore them.

IAteTheWholeSelectionBox · 10/12/2008 18:14

Crawling thing - totally variable. I have heard of babies who just get up and walk without bothering with the crawling thing at all!

BFing thing - if your baby is like mine and a night BF is the difference between being woken for 3 minutes and being woken for 30 minutes then you keep at it! She's totally wrong, wrong, outwith her remit and wrong to tell you to stop BFing. Report her please.

pinner4 · 10/12/2008 18:25

It looks HV are not very popular in general (not surprising, considering the stuff come from their mouths)glad is not just me!
My son didn't sit up 'til 9m, is now 16 and walks a bit, but not for long, just crawls-he didn't crawl 'til a 1st birthday.
In terms of feeding, I was shock the things I was told, how to do it and when. I did obviously ignore, they piss me off so much, even insulted me once, and pressure to do what I didn't consider appropiate for my son, that I stopped going to see them, I'm lucky to go to my home country, and see a proper professional (a peadeatrician) who knows what he's talking about. These people aren't professional, don't hold cualifications, just follow a guide line from Gov. Sorry to all of them, is not their fault, is the Gov. That's way they say the same to everyone, and that's no good.

domesticslattern · 10/12/2008 18:35

My DD has started crawling (well, if you can call it crawling- more shuffling along on her tummy) this week. She has just turned one. My HV not the slightest bit concerned, though DD did get extra points for being "weight bearing" (ie. if you hold her hands she stands up happily) and for making valiant efforts (not sitting there completely unfussed but rolling about a bit). HV is also supportive of me feeding however on earth I like, so long as DD and I both happy. At 9 months your DD might be physically able to sleep through, but if you're not fussed about being woken then who cares? I was knackered so weaned her off the boob in the night at about that time and found it surprisingly easy, but of course all babies are different and only you know yours!

Many HVS are wonderful - don't write off the whole profession- but some can safely be ignored. And it sounds like you have got one of the latter.