Reassurance needed please after 9mth dd's assessment!!

[Dragonfly74]

DD had her 9mth assessment on monday and HV told me she should be crawling by now and wants to see her again at 12mths to check her progress.

On one hand i'm really annoyed that health professionals treat all babies as statistics, after all babies are unique and do things at different ages.
But on the other hand i'm worried that dd's development is delayed.
She can sit unaided and rolls onto her tummy, she attemps to crawl but she just shuffles a bit then gives up.

The HV also suggested that I stop bfing as dd still wakes for one feed in the night HV says she should be sleeping through by now. DD is my 2nd child and DS didn't sleep through until we moved him into a bed at 2yrs old.

I just feel a bit confused and worried and would like to know what your 9mth olds are/were like.

Thanks

Do they not have qualifications? are you sure ? this surprises me a bit to be honest.

Sorry, question was for Pinner4

This happened to me!!! DD was 9.5 months and now crawling.

She started crawling about a week later.

Even so, I don't think there is any need to panic.

Like you though my HV made me slightly anxious about it, even saying "how do you feel about her now crawling yet" as though I would be emotionally traumatised!

sorry that should say she was 9.5 months and not crawling.

PINNER4 do you mean 16 months ????

actually I think you'll find that to be a health visitor you have to be a nurse or midwife first.

so erm, they are professional, and do have qualifications.
that, of course, does not mean they are up to date on all the guidelines, or will always give good advice!

My DD is 10mths and has only been sitting unaided properly for the last couple of weeks or so. At her 8th check i also had the "come back when she is one" bit.

She has been rolling for ages and is still not crawling. Some babies never crawl.

Actually About the walking/crawling thing - my DP's younger sister works in a nursery, and when she saw that DS (12weeks) was standing up (with someone balancinghim) and trying to walk she said 'whatever you do make sure he crawls before he walks' now a)is it really a problem if a child walks without crawling? and b) how on EARTH are you supposed to stop a child from walking when he's ready to, but just hasn't happened to crawl yet?

yes someone at a m&t group once tol dme that I hsouldn't use a playpen because there wouldn't be enough room for ds1 to crawl and he would end up autistic

yes. right.

anyway I think it's to do with brain development and stuff like that, which crawling can help with. and apparently lots of autistic children do not crawl. or something.
whether or not this is true I have no idea.

but the fact remains that even if most autistic children don't crawl it does not mean that all children that don't crawl are autistic. if you can follow that?

ridiculous. many children NEVER crawl and are just fine.
and I am not sure how you're supposed to make sure a child crawls first... force it?

Hi Gorionine,
As far as I know, is like that. I don't understand why babies are not seeing by a professional, not HV or GP. Even more considering that they can't speak,and that peadeatrician is a speciallity in medicin, trained for diagnose them: Gp are "general practicioners", not for babies. Here, a baby must be very ill to get an appointment with a p. I have to spend money in seeing a private one, for my son, who after birht, have one eye flodded with tears always, and not stopping, etc..., so he was given a lots of antibiotics drops, for a problem he didn't have, they say he has conjutivitis in one eye, always the same! Any GP was could see that he has a Tear doct block, plus lots of more things, I couldn't believe it. I don't trust the system at all, not good experience around. In my country, babies are seeing always by peadeatricians. Sorry, I'm very hurt.

I was sooo fed up with garbage from H/V, I asked for a referral to Paediatrician.

Saw him last week and he wasn't entirely sure why we were there . Gave him the short version and he muttered something about H/Vs should be spending time with families at risk rather than getting all hyped up that a baby wasn't following a percentile exactly...

If you go back to clinic (and there's no reason why you should) if you get any more crap, ask for a referral - it will either shut them up or at worst you will get a professional opinion.

yes, BRAINFREEZE, he's 16 months and walks, but not for long,I think he's lazy!! Can, but doesn't. Babies develope in a different way, I was told that in general boys tend to be slower than girls, and as well depending of the size of the baby.

pinner, because most of the time the majority of babies do NOT need to be seen by a paediatrician.

my children have been lucky enough not to suffer from any serious problems. when they have been ill my GP has been fab, and ds1 was referred to a consultant paed very quickly when he was born with breathing problems.

I think as a parent you are able to judge whether any problem you are having can be soerted by a visit to the health visitor or whether it needs a GP/referral. you are absolutely within your rights to ask for a paed referral if you want one, you don't have to pay privately.

but it would be a waste of time for all routine appts to be done by a paediatrician whose time would be better spent looking after children who are actually ill.

Oh FFS - how bloody ridiculous!!

Your dd is sitting and rolling - why on earth would lack of crawling be an issue at 9 months???

My first daughter didn't crawl at all! - I wonder what your HV would make of her. She walked at 10 months instead ...

My second daughter crawled at 11.5 months!! Your HV would have had her branded i'm sure
And actually, to give you a bit of reassurance - my dd2 was the last of my dd's to crawl/walk/run/jump etc and did most of them (apart from walking) after the text book recommended age, but she learned to ride a bike without stabilizers shortly after her her 4th birthday, just around the same time that she learned to swim without armbands. She soon caught up and overtook her peers ...

Ignore the stupid woman.

Oh and just have to add - my HV is lovely, so they're not ALL bad, unfortunately the ones who are tend to be in the majority.

Some body says that they are MW, well, considering my expirience after birth, is neither a piece of mind! I can probably own my life to my sister, she came to stay a week after having the baby, and I was feeling very bad, worst every day. My stiches were hurting everyday more, I couldn't stand up at all, lots of pain, not tight sensation as she was say, was pain, feeling like having a Golf ball inside me, neither bothering in checking them!!! So my sister told me to go to GP, 'cause wasn't normal. I developed a big infection, so given lots antibiotics, if not better in two days, to be rush to hospital for surgery........all 'cause I wasn't diagnose or listened properly.......... I though of sueing, but my recovery took ages, and very depress even to think about all that again.

What is it with HVs! You'd think they'd be a bit more open minded given the number of babies they must see!

DD (22 mths) didn't crawl until she was 15 mths and didn't walk until 21 mths. HV was always trying to refer her for physio. I knew there was nothing wrong with her, all babies are all different.

I just have to add to this that my DD2 wasn't sitting , crawling or rolling at her developmental check. She crawled at about 14 months, and rolled over about 15 months. She is now 18 months and is running after her big sister like a little puppy.
My health visitor was not at all concerned with her as she is actually quite good and realises all children are different, infact I would go so far as to say she is an excellent health visitor who always listens and does not give out bad unasked for advice (unlike some)

Your DD sounds perfectly normal!

My DD is 9 months and has only been sitting for 3 weeks, and is no where near crawling.

HVs are hilarious sometimes. We had our assessment at 8 months and the HV asked is DD was sleeping through the night. I said no, she was waking up usually a couple of times (also explained that this was a great improvement in recent weeks). He said "hmm and I suppose you're feeding her back to sleep?" I said "yip" and he said "Well that's your problem [fshock as hadn't said it was a problem], you need to stop feeding her at night, she doesn't need the calories, and she'll be sleeping through in a week. If you keep on as you are you'll still be doing it when she's 1"

I just smiled, went "ok" and left, of course having no intention of following his rubbish advice. He called yesterday to check that she can now sit up (she couldn't at the assessment) and I had a good mind to tell her that's she has started sleeping through for the last 10 days, and I didn't need to stop feeding her at night. Eejit!

Well I think your daughter sounds perfectly normal and if it makes you feel better my ds is two weeks past his first birhtday and he still has breastfeeds at bedtime, 12.30am and 5am and that is ridiculous!! He is s boob man! I'm planning on tackling that after my 30th in a few weeks purely for the fact that if I do it now i may ovulate and then have Af to visit when I'm away for the weekend with Dh, not good! I ignore most stuff my HV says if it goes against my gut instinct and my mil who's a HV too!!

I have to say, I've seen a number of hv's mainly because the clinic our assigned hv ran wasn't really that convenient for me so took ds to another clinic to be weighed etc where there was a constant switch over of hv's on duty. I don't know about qualifications to become a hv, but one woman we saw was a nursery teacher not a nurse or a midwife.

yes our clinics have HV's assisted by nursery nurses.
they do weighing and stuff like that, but if you have a specific query you get to see the HV

Oh. The structure wasn't really explained, this woman introduced herself to me as a hv and told me she was a nursery teacher so had experience with babies and small children, at the time I didn't really think to question it tbh.
I think we have definately got to trust instincts rather than take advice as gospel truth from people that don't know our individual babies

Thanks for the replies
Ever since having my first child ds 2.10mths I've dreaded going for assessments and weight checks.
Even though i've always considered myself to be quite a confident, competent mum HV's always seem to have something negative to say that knocks you back.

I stopped taking my oldest for weight checks when he was about 4mths and the same with DD because I got sick of constantly being told that they were below average weight.
Me and DH are both tiny so we're not going to produce huge babies but HV's don't take any of this into account when doing there assessments.
After this last visit i've lost all faith in health professionals.

When she told me to stop bfing DD she said "She'll only cry for a couple of nights", I said so then she'll cry and wake up DS and that means we'll all be up. She then said "Oh but its only for a couple of nights i'm sure you can all cope with the tiredness"
I can't believe she suggested letting DD cry herself to sleep, it makes me I think its cruel.
I wonder if she could cope with a hungry screaming baby through the night, and then the next day when your completely knackered a cranky tired demanding toddler.

I honestly wonder if some of these HV's have families of their own.

Mine didn't crawl at all. She walked at 15 months.

YOu don't have to take her to that HV- sometimes they just talk crap!

Don't feel anxious as you well say all babies develop at different stages!