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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

does teacher not like my child????

65 replies

glitterandsparkle · 13/10/2008 20:27

please help cos i need some advice! DD 4.5 started reception this year, only been there 4 weeks and teacher has already had her in front of the headmaster twice. once for pulling hair (every day for a week) then again for not listening in class. i think this is extreme!!! Her behaviour then improved massively and we though it was over and done with but then DD had a few days off because she was poorly. Now she has gone back and for last 3 days has been scribbling on the tables in class, today she put glue in her hair and then tried to cut it.

i had chat with teacher last week and apologised for DD behaviour but said that i felt she just needed time to settle in. Teacher was lovely to my face but a part of me feels like she has got it in for my DD and wont give her a chance.

My DD is a very bright and energetic child and i wonder that she is not being managed properly. i am not excusing any of what she has done but i feel that its all pretty minor, if she was smashing up the class or beating up the kids then i could excuse the teachers stern look all the time but i feel like she is expecting 100% perfect behaviour from 4 yr olds and she is just not going to get it!!

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SmugColditz · 13/10/2008 20:29

She's been naughty, and she's been told off for it. She is being managed properly, it's just stricter than you would do it - but you only have 1 4.5 year old to deal with, this teacher has 30. It's important that they learn to do as they are told.

dilbertina · 13/10/2008 20:31

She needs to learn to behave, otherwise she will be disrupting everyone else. You cannot expect one on one attention for her. The teacher is presumably trying to teach her what is and isn't acceptable. I would have no problem with this if it were my child, and would be backing the teacher up.

Loshad · 13/10/2008 20:33

It's not particulalry minor though is it - pulling hair - that hurts a lot, bet you'd be cross if your dd was having her hair pulled by someone else, and by 4.5 she really should know not to scribble on tables. The teacher is helping your dd by correcting her bad behaviour, not having it in for her.

nickytwoooohtimes · 13/10/2008 20:33

Have to say I agree with colditz on this. Your dd has been pretty naughty. Intervention now will hopefully stop anythign escalating. If ds bahaved in this manner, I would want him disciplined.

cory · 13/10/2008 20:33

Well tbh if yours was the child whose hair was pulled every day for a week, you might feel the teacher had it in for your child if she did not intervene.

kittywise · 13/10/2008 20:34

fgs, your child has behaved badly and has been told off. Does she not understand that pulling hair is unacceptable?

kittywise · 13/10/2008 20:35

Actually, this is a joke op isn't it?

Thomcat · 13/10/2008 20:36

Sorry, I'm not sure why would you think she doesn't like her? Like you say, it's only been 4 weeks and your DD has had some difficulty in settling in. Teacher was lovely 'to your face'. Why do you think she 'doesn't like' your DD?

The teachers decision to put her in front of the headmaster obv had some effect, or something they did worked as her behaviour imroved.

Have to say, sorry, but I dodn't think that what she has done in 4 weeks is that minor and they are getting it under control quickly and effectively imo.

anyfucker · 13/10/2008 20:36

gotta be a windup

if not, get over it

Thomcat · 13/10/2008 20:38

Actually sorry but I agree with skeptics - this sounds like a wind up.

slayerette · 13/10/2008 20:38

I'm a teacher and I can promise you that it's not to do with liking or not liking your child - it's simply about managing a class. However much I liked a child, I wouldn't let them pull hair or scribble on tables! And if my DS came home having put glue in his hair and then tried to cut it, I would be pretty worried if the teacher hadn't pulled him up for that, to be honest!

And I would expect them to listen in class too.

As others have said, it's not really that minor.

hecAteTheirBrains · 13/10/2008 20:39

what she has done deserves punishment. That behaviour is unacceptable and the school - and YOU - have a duty to teach her so. They can't let her run wild. She should be told off for all of those things. Not extreme at all!

I am sure the teacher does not dislike your child (yet) but you need to work WITH the school, or ....

duckyfuzz · 13/10/2008 20:39

its not minor my DTs have just started reception, they have both been told off for truly minor things (not coming to sit down when asked and messing with hairband) and I have backed the teacher up each time, as a result of which there have been no further problems. If they came home and told me someone was behaving like your DD I'd be horrified and if they were the victim of hairpulling I'd expect something to be done about it. You should support the school, not undermine them

slayerette · 13/10/2008 20:40

Oh - I haven't fallen for a wind-up again, have I?

duckyfuzz · 13/10/2008 20:41

if you have I have too, grrr

anyfucker · 13/10/2008 20:42

< holds score card up >

5 out of 10 !!

Original poster

glitterandsparkle · 13/10/2008 20:43

OMG no this is not a wind up, first off my child is not NAUGHTY she has some silly behaviour but then dont all 4yr olds?
i have already said that i dont excuse her behaviour at school but this has only started since she has been at school, she has never pulled hair/scribbled on tables before. i meant i felt it was minor in respect to some behaviour i have witnessed ie biting, spitting, swearing from other children.

OP posts:

anyfucker · 13/10/2008 20:44

4 yr old kids biting, spitting and swearing ??

good god woman, where do you live ?

kittywise · 13/10/2008 20:44

Hair pulling at that age is crap.She should know better AND be able to control herself. It is plain naughtiness.
If some kid pulled my child's hair I'd want to know that they were punished.

nickytwoooohtimes · 13/10/2008 20:45

Your child has done some naughty things. Accept it. Loads of kids do. She will probably learn from the discipline and behave better in class.

MrsMattie · 13/10/2008 20:45

It sounds like some teething problems - nothing major. I'm sure your DD will settle in soon. And I'm sure the teacher hasn't got it in for her. They have to discipline kids, don't they? maybe you should meet again and have a chat about positive ways you can encourage your DD to behave. It might put your mind at rest.

Original poster

glitterandsparkle · 13/10/2008 20:46

i felt the improvement in her behaviour is down to different things that we had tried at home not anything that the school had done. are you all telling me that you dont think it is extreme to take a 4 yr old to the headmaster???

OP posts:

nickytwoooohtimes · 13/10/2008 20:47

No, it is not extreme. At primary school, the head teacher often deals with discipline issues on a very frequent basis.

kittywise · 13/10/2008 20:47

No, it's not extreme, school rules are school rules. I think if she'd only done it once , but it was several times wasn't it.

Original poster

glitterandsparkle · 13/10/2008 20:48

thank you MrsMattie for YOUR kind and understanding words. i explained to the teacher that i felt she just needed time to settle in as the nursery she was in was not as structured or strict as school is.

OP posts:

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