3.6yo DS trashes his room EVERY morning- what can i do??

[glaskham]

today has been awful so far so please forgive me if i go on, miss punctuation etc as i need to just get this all out!!

This morning got up at 7.30am, went into the kids bedroom and DS had trashed their room again!! This has happened for the last month or so, every morning. So i spent half an hour hoovering their floor (he rips anything he can find up into tiny pieces all over the floor, beds etc) putting their curtains back up, putting clothes back into their wardrobes and generally tidying up.

I'm at my wits end!! I was so close to walking out this morning as me and DH are so stressed having to deal with this every morning that we are snapping at each other, argueing because of it or argueing about how to deal with it.

We've tried giving rewards for not messing his room with no change. We've tried punishments like no tv, no night light, no toys with no change....

Someone please tell me this is a phase and he'll be out of it soon!!

I spent 2hrs in tears because i felt so negative towards him this mornign and just wanted to walk out and clear my head, maybe not even come back till they were in bed!! But DH had to work and i couldn't instead my poor sister has taken the day off college to take him off my hands for a bit!!

What else can i do? Anyone else having to deal with behaviour like this? Has anyone come out the other side?

Please help me before i have a break-down!!!

VS- i feel for you- i do cry because of it, mostly when i see DS's face when i'm shouting because of the mess, but this morning it was because I dread every morning, I do feel he needs to learn but i dont know how he will do that!! i seriously am at the end of my tether!! We took the toys out of his room and he found other things to destroy. I will definatley try and get up before him over the next week and hope that works!! He could always come into our bed with us for a bit while i get used to earlier mornings, it'll be an early night for me tonight!!

Maybe he is enjoying your reaction to it.

so dont react at all.

Not a word.

This is what I would do.

Set alarm for 7am.
Make cup of tea and listen out for ds.
Go into him and bring him down and do whatever your routine is and tell him the plans for the day.

If he is able to avoid trashing the room then he has some fun stuff to do.

When he does next trash the room, DO NOT REACT.
Go in and look at it and make out that lots of stuff has broken and put it calmly in the bin saying things like, 'what a shame that has broken. DS will never be able to play with it again.'

Ignore him and praise dd but do not give him the attention he seems to want. Only praise good behaviour and ignore the bad.

Sounds hard Collision... but worth a shot- i will try anything to prevent this negative feeling towards him each and every morning!! I think I will have to get DH to get up every other morning to help as he currently lies in till his alarm then gets up and leaves for work, so i do feel that i'm having to do it all- DH does help on days off and on lates as much as possible, but I think he will need to help even when he's going to work aswell.

Collision, that might be part of what stopped my DS doing it.
The no reaction. I'd just say, 'oh, what a mess, put the broken stuff in the bin and the rest away please, once it's done you can come down'.
Everytime he came down I'd check it tell him if it was acceptable and make him finish.
A bit like rapid return with bedtimes, but with tidying his room instead.

Exactly VS. He wont get any attention so might stop.

Think about it.

DS trashes his room and gets loads of fun from doing it. His room is a complete tip.

Cue Mum and Dad ranting and tidying up and giving him attention and him being in full control of the situation and 'making' Mum and Dad do what he wants them to do.

so dont do it.

totally ignore it.

Hope it works.

I think the no reaction might help. We just took stuff away and that seemed to calm things down a bit, as they weren't getting lots of attention by doing it.

My two seem to love creating chaos out of order. Their favourite game at the moment is piling up all their toys in a corner of the sitting room, if they can find any bits of paper to rip up to add to it - all the better.

I struggle with it too, as it's the thought of clearing it up and I find it hard to just leave it.

I think your dh has the right idea. I'd remove as much as possible. That doesn't leave him a lot to mess, so won't take as long to tidy.