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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Can children remember past lives or is it just imagination

35 replies

Pheebe · 27/06/2008 20:28

Have been wondering about this for ages

Pretty much since he could talk ds1 has talked about his 'other' house, his 'other' mummy and daddy and his 'other' grandma. not with any sadness just in a matter of fact sort of way. Sometimes he points out big houses and says thats like my other house

as he's gettin older he's saying more elaborate things like, I used to live in my big house with my grandma but now i live in your house

obviously i find it quite hurtful when he talks about his other mummy and daddy but would never show that to him

should i try and get him to tell me more about it or just ignore it as he'll grow out of it as he gets older?

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LovelyDear · 27/06/2008 21:00

i saw a documentary about a boy like this. never got to the bottom of it - just let him talk about it seemed to be their approach.

whitebeachesandcoconutoil · 27/06/2008 21:01

let him talk about but remember this he is with YOU now

Original poster

Pheebe · 27/06/2008 21:04

yes he is, very much so he doesn't seem to want to be anywhere else and the details are well there aren't any really which is why i wonder whether its jsut imagination. but its been so consistent...

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southeastastra · 27/06/2008 21:05

write it down definitely

micci25 · 27/06/2008 21:08

oh my sister used to do this to my mum all the time. she was slightly stranger though in that she had 'memories' of my greatgrandma's and knew things that she couldnt possibly know. she is currently devolping her 'pyschic powers' and is scarily accurate even about people she has never actually met!!!

during a regression it came out that her 'other mummy' was in fact my mum in a previous life, this apparently is common so it could be that you were his mum in a past life but he can remember it and you cant!

i wouldnt put ideas into his head by asking any questions that could 'lead' him into remembering more, but let him talk about it!

cheerfulvicky · 28/06/2008 12:08

Apparently I used to talk to my mum about "when I was big". I have no memory of this now, I was only about two at the time. But I talked about being a nursery nurse in charge of two children and eventually drowning on a ship, I think I worried her a bit!
I would say definitely pay attention to what they say, and don't tell them they are a liar/being silly etc. I think it's really interesting how lots of children are like this to begin with but they mostly forget it in the end as they grow up. I believe they are remembering past lives, but even if you take the view that it's pure imagination, it's fascinating...

hunkermunker · 28/06/2008 12:23

DS1's been talking about when he was big recently. And he says "When I'm big again, I'll do x, y or z". He's 4yo. I keep meaning to ask him more about it.

I'd say don't be hurt - it's just his reality, whether it's his imagination or not.

Teuch · 28/06/2008 12:36

My youngest brother was exactly the same - pointing out a house and saying that's like where he lived when he was a wee girl, with his other mummy and daddy.

It was more frustrating than worrying for my mum, since he answered everything with 'when I was a little girl...'. She would just remind himthat he was a wee boy now and she was his mummy and that her rules were the rules that counted

I agree, it is fascinating!

skippysmum · 28/06/2008 14:37

My aunt told me the other day that I used to do this when I was about three. She remembers me talking about how I'd had a husband and things like that all very vividly.

I have absolutely no recollection of this now!

jabuti · 28/06/2008 19:15

i would love to hear more of these stories, really fascinating!

skippy, do you know more details?

cheerfulvicky, that is a hell of a lot of information! if you were my child i would be bombarding you with questions out of curiosity

violetsmile · 28/06/2008 19:38

My dh was like this as a child. My Mother in Law said it used to scare her. He was always saying phrases that began with 'when I was here before......'. His mum first just thought it was imagination but the things he said were very consistant for a 2/3 year old.

He often talked about how he used to live in a house in our town (but not the one he actually lived in!) and how he and and his 'grandad' planted an apple tree in the back garden.

Years later, his mum married a man who grew up in the house next door to that house and there was an apple tree in the back garden which an old man and his grandson planted 50 years ago but the grandson died apparently.

Very odd but dh now still says he has memories of that house, the lay out, the decor, the garden. Wierd!

To be fair though, he says he can't remember any of it anymore so it could just be a kid thing!

violetsmile · 28/06/2008 19:49

Sorry, meant he can't remember saying it when he was a kid but it seems strange that he can supposidly remember something from a past life but not something from this life!

I'm not sure if there's anything in it or whether he's just remembering what his mum has told him he used to say.

christywhisty · 28/06/2008 19:56

I had a very wierd conversation with DD when she was 3. We were on the train, sitting on the other side to what we normally do.
We went past a cemetary, when she suddenly said

"that's where they put dead people"

She then started talking about when she was in a cemetary before she was killed with a knife. She was married to a policeman.

There was another lady on the train listening to the conversation and she was also finding it very strange

A few days later she said when she was a girl before her grandad called her "gingernut". Her grandad was greek cypriot and it's not something he would call her.

After that she never said anything like that again.

I am very sceptical about these things and especially psychics and mediums but this was all very odd

jabuti · 28/06/2008 20:49

i heard stories like these before, and its always up to 5 years, rarely older, when children remember things.

it must have scared you chirsty!

JellyNump · 28/06/2008 22:56

Thats really a bit scary! Have you spoken to a dr or health visitor about it? There must be someone somewhere who would maybe 'deal' with this sort of thing or can tell you more about it?

violetsmile did your mum in law ever ask the old man next door about his grandson and did your DH go into the neighbours house to look to see if he 'remembered' anything? were there any pics of the grandson???

nappyaddict · 28/06/2008 23:03

i always wonder if you can't remember having a past life then that means you're the first person to have that life iyswim.

solo · 28/06/2008 23:14

I think most souls have been here many times. We are here to learn a lesson and will I believe, keep coming back until we learn it. Then we may knock gently on the gates to see if we can enter

Jelly, I don't think a doctor or HV needs to be involved. What is there that needs dealing with? they are just memories, the children aren't possessed.

JellyNump · 28/06/2008 23:15

I didn't say they were possesed. Pheebe was asking for more info and I thought as they deal with children a lot they might have more info

solo · 28/06/2008 23:18

I get that jelly, but it's not a medical thing, it's spiritual

Blu · 28/06/2008 23:20

DS used to talk like this all the time.

I was sure he was just using his imagination to tlk in a way he heard others describing things that hapened tha he had no knowledge of. And had not grasped that he hadn't yet been 'grown up' or 'dead' or any of the other things he knew abou but didn't understand.

Also up until about 4. / 5 he described most things he imagined as actually having hapened. Apparantly children have a level of brain activity that is similiar to someone on various mnd-altering drugs - developmentally they simply canno always mak a distinction between imagination and reality.

Sorry - I am a sceptic.

It's interesting and fascinating - in fact i thiknk the actuality of a real child's development and thought proceses is more magical than anythng we decide is .....unexplained da da daaaaaaaaooooooahahhaha

JellyNump · 28/06/2008 23:23

Well i just thought they might be able to point Pheebe in the right direction and if the children were possesed i wouldn't suggest anyone go to a dr or HV

solo · 28/06/2008 23:42

I was speaking figuratively Jelly, not literally and wasn't being ' funny' with you about it. I just don't see a reason for medical iintervention for something that could/should be seen as spiritual or a vivid imagination...

jabuti · 29/06/2008 07:27

nah, leave doctors & cia out of it.

what did your son used to say blu? just so i can have one more fascinating story in my mind

i see what you are saying how children gets mixed about imagination/real things and i agree with that. but there is something about the way they say it and the facts when its a memory of the past and when its just their imagination, that i can almost see a difference. i believe in reincarnation, but of couse, i could be wrong and i respect everyone's view on it.

geekgirl · 29/06/2008 08:30

am with blu on this.
My ds also occasionally talks about what he used to do when he was 'big' - I asked him what his job was - he said he did lots of jobs, but mainly he used to cook . He said dd1 & dd2 were his children.
He seems to think that we just move freely between being adults and children at the moment. I think all these 'past life memories' are just figments of an active and unbridled imagination - fun to listen to, though!

Original poster

Pheebe · 29/06/2008 08:32

Thanks so much everyone, huge relief to know its not that uncommon

jabuti, think you've hit the nail on the head, its the WAY he says it. he talks about imaginary things all the time and we encourage his imagination and try to engage with it when we can but this whole 'other mummy' thing is on a different level

I have no trouble believing in reincarnation with or without a 'higher' purpose and I've always thought my dh was an 'old soul' for many reasons I won't go into. My grandmother was supposedly a 'white witch' and there are many stories on dhs side of the family too. No idea what all this means though

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