Are little girls inherently nasty??

[Bumdiddley]

Dh (sahd) told me that dd3 and ds23m were watching the next doors dd and friend play in the garden. The friend started asking dd questions and then mimicking her replies (she had delayed speech but is perfectly understandable).

Dh videoed the whole thing but didn't intervene then showed me the video when I got home from work. I couldn't really hear what was being said and the only time she seemed upset was when they were taunting her about having lollipops. The mum next door eventually came out and stopped her being nasty.

Anyway, I was quite upset but dh said "That is what little girls are like".

When I was 8 I didn't pick on 3 year olds. Is it just me?

girls and boys can be very very mean.

They don't sound like nice little girls tbh. I have two DDs, just 9 and just 6 and I can't for the life of me imagine that they would be mean and nasty to little children.

DD not mean at all. Is 5. Nearly.

Some girls are mean, some aren't. Ditto boys. And most children are "mean" as we would perceive it at some point in their life. Whether with remorse after or not.

of course girls are inhernetly nasty, that's a horrible thing to think or say. Especially since you actually do have one yourself and so I presume don't expect her to be nasty.

All children are potentially mean at times, boys and girls. And yes the ways they are mean can fall into stereotypical gendered behaviours but still, that's an aside. Those girls were behaviing unacceptably and were quite rightly told off and hopefully that will dissaude them from doing it again.

Can't believe your dp didn't go out and defend your dd, crikey I'd have been miffed if my dad had videoed people being mean to me at 3.

Thanks for your answers. Of course you are all right - there are nice people and horrible people.

Slur - If I had posted this on AIBU I would expect a harsh reaction but I don't think girls are inherently nasty, dh does.

Yes dh is a twerp and I was very with his inaction.

I could not agree more emphatically with Slur.

Sorry to be so direct Bumdiddley since I realise that you are only posting to make sense of what happened with next door neighbours child, but I loathe and detest if when harmful gender stereotypes are perpetuated about girls being mean. Frankly it is bullshit

All children can be nasty. Apart from my two dds

I can be pretty mean though, but that's just my unfortunate personality

Dd however is just about the kindest child on the planet (must have got that from her dad)

Think we x posted HMC...

Should have poasted on AIBU...

I don't think little girls are inherently nasty, but I do think that features of many (I hesitate to say most) little girls' play in small groups around the age of 7+ can be quite cruel.

Good god, I remember there always seemed to be someone falling out with someone else or being ganged up on or whispered about. It tended to be transient and would have seemed far worse to an observing adult (although it would be unlikely to happen in front of an adult). I don't think boys do this so much?

Come on, don't you remember this sort of thing when you were little? Although, in reply to op's situation, it's very low - whatever their age - to pick on a 3 year old like this.

IME yes they are, and its ONLY ever been little girls that have been horrible to my eldest DD who is three...i remember three older girls deliberately teasing my 3 year old one day in the park tempting her to come and play, then when she would they would all get in a circle and lock arms so she couldnt. I watched for a bit, then got my three year old, told her the girls were nasty and to stay away. I can hand on heart say i have yet to experience any little boy being mean to my children.

However, that doesnt mean i believe only little girls can be nasty, i am sure little boys can too, we have just been lucky enough not to experience that yet.

what a weird question

i was never nasty. i was a girl.

i do dislike peoples habit of attributing traits and feelings to children before they have half a chance to develop their own.

and sweeping generalisations are pretty shite too.

I think there's a difference which starts to emerge at around 3-4 yrs old....boys are very spontaneous and often quite physical, their reactions to certain situations are automatic, instinctive. Girls seem to process events first, then react, and it often makes them seem calculated. (ie could be seen as nasty)

Dh thinks that he wouldn't have been helpful taking her away from the situation -she has to learn.

saywhat - that's what I would have done!!

Yes, I was a little girl once, a proper little madam - but spiteful to very young children? No.

what wierd behaviour from your DH - he should have stopped her being bullied if thats what it was.

I wasn't nasty (or no more so than most avergae children) but I've seen some pretty bloody horrific and nasty behavior from boys in my time - I don;t assum,e all boys are nasty though.

It makes your DH sound like his daughters are going to be nasty not a good idea to raise then assuming the worst.

at three all she needs to learn is that her daddy will look after her. Sorry but that makes me

daddy would rather let her be bullied and video it than show her hes on her side and always gonna stick up for her apparently.

she does need to learn how to deal with bullying. by demonstration. hows she gonna learn if he doesnt show her that she is entitled to stand up for herself? if an 8yo picked on any of my boys (5 and under) id have words.

"what a weird question" and "and sweeping generalisations are pretty shite too."

Wow - how horrible. I came home to an upsetting situation and didn't know how to react. I don't have any friends with young children so came on here for some advice on how other people would react.

That was really unpleasant thing to say BoyzntheShire.

excuse me but i think 'are all girls inherently nasty?' is a pretty horrible thing to say, actually.

and i was responding to the whole thread, not just you. i DONT like generalisations, i think they are always unhelpful and youd do better to think about people as individuals. and youd do better by your children to see you thinking of them as individuals too.

i dont know why you feel attacked, its your husbands behaviour/comment i was so about...

I, personally think that there is a difference between:

Are all girls inherently nasty? and
Are all girls inherently nasty??

Maybe I should have put
Are all girls inherently nasty?!

"I'd do better to treat people as individuals/ my children as individuals." What in the hell does that mean?

Why are you still on the attack? Would you like me to roll over and show you my tummy so you can finish me off? (???)

your dh videoed it but didnt intervene?

double sheeesh

Is your dh inherently a nobboid

i think maybe you have a persecution complex. i am merely stating my views. public forum and all that

BitS: You were horrible -only asking why!

Enid - like 'nobboid'