Are little girls inherently nasty??

[Bumdiddley]

Dh (sahd) told me that dd3 and ds23m were watching the next doors dd and friend play in the garden. The friend started asking dd questions and then mimicking her replies (she had delayed speech but is perfectly understandable).

Dh videoed the whole thing but didn't intervene then showed me the video when I got home from work. I couldn't really hear what was being said and the only time she seemed upset was when they were taunting her about having lollipops. The mum next door eventually came out and stopped her being nasty.

Anyway, I was quite upset but dh said "That is what little girls are like".

When I was 8 I didn't pick on 3 year olds. Is it just me?

omg you have a dd

3 dds

shame on your dh

I don't think it was the OP's dd that was involved - it was the neighbour's dd and friend who were being videoed.

god knows why though.

Oh.

I thought the neighbouring dd was being mean to the OP's dd, and it was this fascinating event that was videoed?

Perhaps to show OP when she came back from work.

I'm still interested in this though. Couldn't he have just explained to her what happened?

my grandmother repeatedly told me growing up that she preferred boys, not a nice thing to hear growing up, not good for your self esteem, not good at all.

Fair enough Boyz, maybe that was an important thing for you all along, but I think lots of kids do tease others now and again and "nasty" is sort of in the eye of the beholder, if you will excuse the mixed metaphor. I would be slightly skeptical of most people who claim they've never been mean as a child. I can't claim to recall everything I did/said as a kid, and I bet most of us might be surprised at ourselves if we could.

Hatrick yes, little girls are female, of course; but not all females are little girls. I am just saying that it is not the equivalent of saying "that's what females are like". He may have meant that [in his opinion, which I am not saying is right] girls of a certain age can be quite nasty. It's not really like saying his wife and daughters are basically nasty peices of work, as was implied.

To show the OP what little girls are like it seems.
Farking weird thread all round methinks.
I wouldn't be surprised to find I wasn't the only poster to check bumdiddleys name to see if she was a troll.
Maybe this thread, and her perception is another test on how horrible girls are, would explain why she read boyzntheshre as being mean when she wasn't.

VS I thought some posters did claim never to have been nasty as children? Perhaps I misread.

I stand by my first comment. Thank oyu for responding bumdiddley.

I don't mean to sound overly harsh to you, but your title asks a question and states a view (your dh's) which imo is horrible thing to think or say.

But yes, like all others here it is the not defending your very small child that I was most surprised at, in answer to his response about learning there is a case for not intervening in toy squabbles between peers of similar age and indeed in disputes with friends as they get older.

But she is 3
and they are 8
and there were 2 of them
and they were picking on her.

Clearly a case to intervene and to explain clearly what behaviour is acceptable and to model how to deal with the situation so that your dd knows in future that this sort of behaviour is NOT on and her parents are and will always be her defenders when she needs them.

videoing is bizarre.

Perhaps you should print out the thread which is largely directed towards him and not you.

Agree with slur.

Paperdoll - I said I wasn't nasty as a child. Of course I didn't mean that I never did anything thoughtless or mean ever, just that I wasn't a nasty child, have never bullied anyone or deliberately tried to hurt anyone. Even as an 8 year old girl which according to the OP's DH are all like that.

Slur's right, it's your dh you need to tackle. His behaviour was bizarre. And if I were you, I'd point out that videoing other people's children might get him into a whole heap of trouble. When he's looking after the children, he should be doing just that, not playing with his bloody camcorder.

I think I got it wrong, sorry.

So the children next door were being horrible to Bumdiddley's dd who has delayed speech?

[speaks slowly to Mercy]

Yes, that's it dear. That's it.

Now there is a thorny issue of the videoing to get your head around. I still haven't.

I am dying for the OP to come back and tell all.

Yes, Mercy.
The OPs' children were playing in their garden and the next-door neighbours daughter and friend were taking the piss out of her speech delay.
The OP's husband, filmed this rather than intervene, then when showing the OP said 'that's what little girls are like'

TBH, I'm more worried about the fact that his DD's are not yet at this age, but this is what he expects of them. What hope do these poor girls have when daddy is expecting them to be bitches in a few years time?

I think that's a bit of an over reaction VS. I read it as him saying it in more a 'Oh don't worry about it Mrs, that's what kids are like' sort of thing.

But that theory does not sit neatly with videoing. Because now I think he if videoed it to show her, then he was in some way outraged and fuming.

I want the OP back.

And so then if that was the case, VS not an over-reaction at all.

[collapses]

It's quite tiring all this.

one word that i am surprised hasn't been used already :- Mysoginist (sp)!! LEM stirs the cauldron and wanders off

[psst - that thing there what you put in the brackets? That's why the word hasn't appeared yet]

I'm still waiting for the OP.

In the meantime I am going to start videoing random things to show dh later.

Just one point though: My dd has speech delay and i would have been horrified if older children taking the piss. I would have been bashing on their mothers door.

Maybe the DH has issues with his daughters speech , my DP can't accept our DD has a delay.

Lol, yes tiring.

Just 3 questions please OP.

Why video?
Why not intervene?
and in what context was the line 'that is what little girls are like' meant?

No

I have two girl age 5 and 2, neither of them have never hit each other or anyone and dd age 5 is the sweetest most caring little girl. she is always looking out for people and wih will play with children at school who have no friends.

dd2 is also gentle.

i cant imagine them ever taunting anyone.

that little girl learnt that behaviour from someone, its not in you to be nasty.

It's the menopause 100x - just you wait! (she said laying the blame on anything other than her own dim-wittedness)

I am 7 years older than my younger brother; I clearly remember being horrible to him on a number of occasions. But I wasn't being nasty because I was a girl but simply because I am older than him and therefore could tease and taunt him.

But I did get told off for it if my parents witnessed such behaviour (which wasn't very often tbh because children tend to behave this when they think no adults are around)