am absolutley fuming.....but think i may have ott with punishment?

[micci25]

dd1 4 has always been the apple of every ones eye, or the golden child, of my family and is therefore v spoilt, but lately her behavior has been getting worse and worse.

today we were walking to her nan's where she has her sunday lunch and she was pushing her wooden dog toy along when all of a sudden she screamed and started smashing the toy up on the side of the road!

i asked why why she told me she hated the toy it was stupid and she is glad that she broke it!

as her punishment i told her we were going home she wouldnt be going to her nan's that day but that just seemed to make things worse!

she is not sorry at all for what she did to the toy or telling me she hated me, or slamming all the doors on her way back in the house

her punishment i have decided is that she has lost all priveledges, her tv, dvd, cd player have been taken out of bedroom and there is tv or access to laptop, ds and wii untill i believe she is suitably sorry!

when i went to check on her and see what she wanted for lunch she told me she smashed up her toy because she angry with it and she also angry with me!!!!

i know that this punishment sounds extreme but i have had it up to here with her behavior, she is constantly answering back and just blatently ignoring me, telling me she never gets anything and her cousin has loads of good toys and she gets nothing, she is prone to violence towards me, is constantly in a temper at something .... the list could go on..she is just generally ferral!!!!

i know my punishment seems a bit ott but really dont know what else to do her behavior needs to calm down before she hurts herself or some one else!

does any one have any suggestions or has had similar experiences with wild uncontrolable children?

I have inherited my mother's intolerant gene!!

"Have you ever actually seen a child playing with matches" - really are you serious? Some childrne are mesmerised by mathces - I am myself! I oculd quite happy spend hours watching pub beer mats burn in ashtrys (). As an adult I know that glass ashtrays are fireproof, provided you don;t cram them with beer mats. Children don;t ahve the judgement to know what is fireproof and what isn't.

Is there a "talks too much" gene?

I have that one too!!!

Posie Kewcumber
fire and height are not recent inventions nor are strangers and animals.Is there a rule that says 'you mustn't jump out of windows'or does a normal child just naturally shy away from dogs heights snakes and spiders.
Requiring, as a rule, that your child holds your hand is probably more preached by you than observed by the child.That is, more of a grab by you than a remembered offer.Nothing has been 'learned ' or taught and no accident will ever be avoided.Soon after your tedious lessons in traffic observation the child will just in the passing of time work out that normal people don't run into cars. In the meantime its your control of the hand not the 'teaching' that does the trick.How many parents do you think spend how much time teaching and ruling on knives and guns?And to what effect?Is it the lack of parental control outside the Three Cooks Bakery or pride and peer pressure that rules the day

Kewkcumber
your sister has probably inherited the thin gene from another member of the family -fat is not and never has been only 'a feminist issue' Once again here is the link www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/health/article1647517.ece

no she hasn't we all have the same gene (did you think I was lying) she controlls its effects by excess exercise which is one accepted way of doing it.

DS does automatically put his hand up to me at roads - not because he has learned that cars are unsafe but because he has learned that mummy likes it. At some stage he will also learn that running in fornt of cars is not a good idea but before then learning to hold my hand because I ask him to comes under my list of "Sensible things to teach a 2 year old".

Obviously you disagree. Oh and fires may have been around for a while but matches haven't - I don;t suppose small childrne had the stamina to gather enough combustible materials and stike enough flints to cause serious damage in previous generations

it has been proved that certain animals (and by implications humans) have been born with a healthy regard for heights. Never heard of any studies with dogs though and as far as I'm aware most normal children are not inherently scared of dogs. Some are, some are far too fond of dogs (like my DS) I am trying to teach him to ask befire he pats a dog though he is obviously too young at the moment. Or I just could wait for him to be bitten to learn that not all dogs like having childrne run up and pat them.

Gave up reading on about page 4 and then skipped to the end to see if there was a happy ending. But... WTF????

Smutney trip trap back to where you came from, love.

(and stop quoting the Times for "scientific" articles - they're utter boll*cks)

kewk
unless you have had a good reason to have your dna samples matched and so know the genetic codes are a perfect match its most likely that you thinner girl has inherited her gene elsewhere and possibly skipped a generation or moved out to an uncle or an aunt.

fire? you misunderstand its not whether or not the cause of the fire is learned its whether or not teaching the causal link between matches and fire damage can ever be taught at an age when it is necessary for it to be taught which is just before the information is acquired anyway -regardless of teaching.

so despite the fact that we have one particular gene in common which has been identified as causing a predisposition to weight gain and despite the fact that she does 1-2 hrs of exercise every day and I do about 15 mins and she eats half a sandwich for lunch and I have a whole sandwich and a cup of soup and a bar of chocolate, the reason my sister is thinner is because she has another unidentified and unknowable gene inherited from some unknown skinny member of our family.

Silly me.

why haven;t you posted on anything else smutney, your views are fascinating. (Barking but fascinating)

(she used to be much bigger btw until she became an exercise freak - did someone do a gene swap while she was asleep one night?)

Children do dangerous things in spite of fear, jump off the top of slides, think they can balance on a window ledge etc. And my children ask to hold my hand when we get near a road, or the pushchair. Again, my sister's child ran into the road and was lucky that there wasn't a car to run him over.

Erm... the obvious question- are you MAD giving a 4 yr old that much unnecessary technology? Keep it all confiscated (preferably sold or given away for ever) and TALK to her instead. You may find the tantrums lessening.

duchesse read the more recent posts - far more interesting!

Erm..it's quite a big thread Kew- can you give me a rough time where it gets interesting?

about page 7, duchesse

Came back to see what OP w as up to but OMG!
Who is this Smutney person?
Bizarre...

posiep
silly children do silly things and the same is true of silly adults.The question is does the teaching make any difference.It seems not.Ask yourself why do most women fail to spot the affair.The reason is simple they don't question to the absolute irredeemable limit.The cross examination stops just a little short of final admission.You see the words and the guidance are after all just words and more words and are truly innefective.You cant really teach by example so what are you left with? Instinct- thats what leads you to know that flat roofs are not for jumping off and that the smell of perfume is not just a passing commuter's brush by

trip trap?

My child sits in the middle of the road watching telly , striking matches and eating jaffa cakes no matter how often I lovingly smack her. Am I doing something wrong?

I'm fascinated- how do you get the power for the telly out into the middle of the road?

Do they need power?

ROFL!
trip trap? I would say so...
maybe even a whiff of "cult" ?