am absolutley fuming.....but think i may have ott with punishment?

[micci25]

dd1 4 has always been the apple of every ones eye, or the golden child, of my family and is therefore v spoilt, but lately her behavior has been getting worse and worse.

today we were walking to her nan's where she has her sunday lunch and she was pushing her wooden dog toy along when all of a sudden she screamed and started smashing the toy up on the side of the road!

i asked why why she told me she hated the toy it was stupid and she is glad that she broke it!

as her punishment i told her we were going home she wouldnt be going to her nan's that day but that just seemed to make things worse!

she is not sorry at all for what she did to the toy or telling me she hated me, or slamming all the doors on her way back in the house

her punishment i have decided is that she has lost all priveledges, her tv, dvd, cd player have been taken out of bedroom and there is tv or access to laptop, ds and wii untill i believe she is suitably sorry!

when i went to check on her and see what she wanted for lunch she told me she smashed up her toy because she angry with it and she also angry with me!!!!

i know that this punishment sounds extreme but i have had it up to here with her behavior, she is constantly answering back and just blatently ignoring me, telling me she never gets anything and her cousin has loads of good toys and she gets nothing, she is prone to violence towards me, is constantly in a temper at something .... the list could go on..she is just generally ferral!!!!

i know my punishment seems a bit ott but really dont know what else to do her behavior needs to calm down before she hurts herself or some one else!

does any one have any suggestions or has had similar experiences with wild uncontrolable children?

The only kids I know with TVs in their rooms are either stupid, ignorant, unwanted or all of the above. I had kids to help them grow not to allow a little piece of technology do it for me.

My child is not stupid,ignorant or unwanted thanks PosieParker. Technology is not a bad word or a bad world either if supervised and limited as part of a balanced life.

I just wonder why it's up in their room out of the way then?

To tell you the truth it is hardly ever used but having said that it does have its uses sometimes especially in the winter. We have to make sure the balance of the house is kept with a 14 year old a 3 year old and 2 adults. Everyone needs there space and sometimes that space may include watching something like The Lion King without interuption from the noises downstairs. Is it really so different than them going upstairs to play in their room with toys for a while (which he also does do at times btw)

posieparker
sorry 'sleep time'
you never did listen as a child did you ?-still convinced of the validity of your own arguments .No different from the rest of us then.So why do you think your controlling behaviour modification ideas are going to have any lasting effect on your own children? they clearly didn't work on you

lol smutney

I'd take you at mariokart anyday (says former computer games writer married to ex -games developer)

smutney you sound like a twat

Enid
abuse? the last refuge of the weak-minded.Or is it the cafe in Grand Theft Auto IV [email protected] tell me you think a 'smack' lightly administered at the appropriate time is good for your child too.And do you call them 'kids' as well.I think we should be told Enid

Isn't "I think we should be told" what they put in the Daily Mail?

profgram
no its 'private eye' but it is a ref to how the editors of the red tops used to write 40 years ago

Glad I had that recent op or would have pissed myself from laughing so much by now!

Wow Enid, am very impressed with your former job, had no idea!

Smutney, stop being so rude.

twinkie
there is nothing funny about the serious business of child control.The setting of 'consistent boundaries',the preparation of reward/punishment charts, the grading and application of 'privileges'and the careful monitoring of television and game use takes time thought and care.Not that the 'kid' takes a blind bit of notice in the long run.He starts out looking like his father ,soon he's walking and talking like him and then before you know it he's wearing his sister's clothes.So much for parental control and example

rofl

Message withdrawn

No the op obviously hasn't worked and I am PMSL!!

enid
lmao since you mention it

And if DS and DD went round supermarket pilling things up and leaving them near exit I would damn well tell them to go and put them all back - would be bloody anarchy and I want people to be manning those checkouts not replacing food on the shelves that your kids have mauled - vile disgusting behaviour!

smutney:

fyiad

my dear twinkie relax its only supermarket c*p whats better a happy child or a happy supermarket operative-after all its their job to restock the shelves after your change of mind/unauthorised card at the checkout.And the ridiculous charges for plastic bags in m&s next you'll be saying that p*ing in the ocean is causing global warming.

aer you a bloke

you are a new poster I notice

enid
mother of four and a stepson

ok

I apologise for saying you sounded like a twat

do you think you could be nice?

you are obviously very experienced and clever, if a little, erm, abrasive

[feels rather pot/kettle]

Smutney, you have it so wrong. I have many if not all of my values from my upbringing, my parents. My mother always considered tv as the last resort and I agree, my parents never had a tv in their bedroom and neither do I, my parents think that tv is mind numbing and so do I.
Actually I think you must be a wind up and I cannot take you seriously, the majority of your contributions have been ridiculous.
Perhaps you just let your children do what they like and hope for the best.
I would like one good reason for allowing a child to have a TV in their room. If it's age difference in the house then find something else for them to do, I just don't buy it. TV is not a necessity, it's not neglect not to have one.

Smutney
Of course it's not all about behaviour control / modification - and of course it's not just about the technology - it's all about the relationship between child and parent - as a lot of posters in fact have said.
In the OP's posts there are loads of indications of what her relationship with her daughter is like.
Not going to comment on your posts...