Should a perfectly normal 4.5 year old manage to sit at the table for maybe 45 mins or an hour for a meal?

[MNersanonymous]

Had lunch yesterday with a dear friend and her ds who is 4.5.

Between courses he'd get down from the table at the (thankfully child friendly) restaurant and go off e.g. for a walk with his dad. Ds (2.10) meanwhile has been happily sitting in restaurants since he was well under 2 because we have taught him getting down is not acceptable - and he does still get toys or crayons whilst we wait for the first course.

DF is entitled to have different rules but this time my ds started asking if he could go off for a walk too.

Now I know all kids are different but isn't it fair to think that by 4.5 a child should manage a short meal in a restaurant WITH toys and crayons might I add without getting down? And by short meal I mean maybe 45 mins or an hour?

Am I being unreasonable in my expectations and also what should i say to ds now he has started wanting to copy the other little boy?
I managed a 'in our family we stay at the table' but that was only ok as my friend wasn'tthere by then - if she had been it would have sounded really rude.

How can I get ds to stick with our rules without it looking like I'm slagging off theirs?

Honoria - I don't agree - not all kids are like this. My ds does genuinely see eating in restaurants (albeit child-friendly ones rather than 3 hours in Claridges) as a treat and enjoys it. He gets some quality time with me/ his dad chatting around the table, and nice nosh.

I can see that for some children it must be torture but it works both ways that all kids are different and some DO enjoy going out for a meal.

Well considering it takes my 4 year old dd to actually eat a meal then it wouldnt be a problem for us.

My nearly 2 year old ds would have major issues with sitting for that long.

agree re numbers - if I'm ever out with just one my children it's a complete breeze. THey do everything I ask of them and behave impeccably.

Put the 3 of them together and it's a totally different story.

Tbh, they are pretty good at eating out and don't get down from the table at all when we take them out. If it was a long lunch and adults were chatting for a long time I'd have to work harder to keep them 'entertained'.

mine can but generally don't.
So what if they can'tfgs they can't even control their bladders, or get yogurt into thier own mouths without covering everything in a 2metre radius and yet they are expected to be able to conform to adult rules regarding how long to sit at a table.

With my 2 younger DSs,(20mths apart)my DH and I agreed, that if you took one out on his own it was easy (it didn't matter which one)but 2 were hard work!

It's asking a lot of a 4 yr old. Some kids would do it, but many wouldn't.

my goodness i cant even handle sitting down for meal that long let alone a poor bored child