3 year old HATES nursery - DAY 2

[Disenchanted]

Well from this morning he was saying he 'didn't want to go'

Surprisingly he put his uniform on without fuss and also left the house, but after about 3 mins of walking he realised where we were going and started to cry

The whole way there we had :

'I don't want to go there'

'Please take me home mummy'
'Its scary, Im scared'

He was holding onto lampposts, tring to sit on the floor, walking slowly.

We got to the playground and he was just saying 'No,no,nono.

We went in and he burst into tears , wouldn't take his coat off, still wouldn't speak to any of them.

Just tried hiding behind me crying, clinging onto me.

The teacher told me to do as yesterday so I told him I was just going to get Daddy and baby brother and would be back soon to pick him up.

The teacher took him off me and held him whilst I walked away listening to him sobbing.

Thanks

Today we went to the park and he made a friend called Logan and then we went to the library, read some books and he got his first library card and chose a book to bring home.

Am a bit that at 3 Im only just discovering all the fun (and cheap if not free!) stuff to do around here!

We'll Im not 3, I meant him ... obviously!

Frazzled - yep I'm still here!

Congrats Disenchanted ...and don't feel bad for not finding all the free stuff locally until now...chances are your LO wouldn't be old enough to appreciate stuft like that before. Certainly my DS didn't play with any other children we regularly met up with until he was 3ish...before then he just played round them...our first trip to library was a disaster nearly a year ago so we haven't been back since...but on Tuesday we walked passed it as we do every week and he begged me to let hom go in & get a book out

terramum - hope you're still here. You asked me if dd interacted with people. She does with family and some close friends. Not with people in shops etc. She doesnt really interact with classmates either. Girls can try to talk to her and dd seems to have tunnel vision and ignores them! School keeps telling me she's just v shy, i'm inclined to think there's a bit more to it. Don't want to go to gp or hv incase i open up a can of worms that aren't really there.

Yep still here frazzled....

If your DD interacts fine with people she knows then I would be inclined to think it is a confidence/shyness issue, and she might just be taking longer to get used to being away from you than your other children...but you are obviously worried about it & I would trust your instincts as you are in a better position to know her best . What is she like after school holidays, when she's had an extended period of time at home?

She's gone back today with a few tears. She's only just started to settle at school, in the beginning she cried at home, lining in the yard, and during school. She's had help from the school counselling service and i think this has helped a bit. I always thought she was just shy but now i just think shy is the wrong word. I can't explain what she seems to be. When we're at home she doesn't follow me around constantly - some think she just wants me but im not so sure.

Is she happy going to school? What does she say about it?

...Why don't you start your own thread frazzled? Sounds like you could do with some more input about this....

Think i will terra, thanks. I'll start thread when i've got time to watch and chat!

disenchanted, I feel for you. Of course it is scary for your son to be left in an unfamiliar environment, without his mum. I am very sceptical of people who say that the children are 'fine' once their parents leave. I spent a several sessions in a nursery when I was settling my daughter in, and noticed that children who cried at their parents' departure often became quiet and withdrawn afterwards. For busy nursery teachers, that = happy. That's not good enough in my book. The fact that a child has stopped expressing their stress and anxiety does not mean that they are not still stressed and anxious.

Where I am from (New Zealand) it seems nurseries are often more flexible about the settling in process. When my son started kindergarten (which is like nursery here, for 3-4 year olds), I could stay for as long as I liked, for as many sessions as I liked. He settled in with no tears at all. I think that nursery can be a positive experience for children, but it seems crazy to me to risk undermining the whole point (i.e. increasing your child's confidence and independence) by abandoning them, crying and frightened, when they start.

If I were you, I'd look for another nursery that showed more empathy for your child's needs.

Kate

Oops, dumb newbie... I only read the first page of posts and didn't realise your situation was already resolved. Sounds like you made the best decision!