What the hell is wrong with my baby?

[Bodkin]

DD2 (8.5 months) has always been a bloody difficult baby. Today she has reached a new low. She has been screamign at full pelt nearly all day. The only way I have been able to get her to nap is to put her in the cot and leave ehr to scream it out... any other intervention just makes things worse.

She has had a fever for the past few days and whilst unwell has been very drowsy and placid... now she's feeling better again she is just absolutely foul tempered.

I don't really know what to do with her to make her stop crying.

I have tried a sling - she naps for about 10 mins before waking up, but it's not practical anyway as I have DD1 to look after.

Sorry I meant pain.

I have just read that you have tried CO. They often find things like a dislocated shoulder/hip etc. Was why I suggested it.

If you feel it's not right, go to A&E and ask to see a paediatrician, not now if she is sleeping, but tomorrow morning. They don't make children wait for a letter if you are concerned.

Lol to our virtual glass of champagne! The countdown continues! DS still suffers from a lot of wind. He doesn't scream with it but it does make him irritable and he makes a lot of grunting and pushing sounds til he finaly passess wind. It doesn't seem to cause him proper pain, just discomfort and could explain why he hates to sit still. He's very squirmy and just feeding him in his highchair can be a challenge!

Really hope she's feeling better soon. It must be devastating to feel you've taken a step backwards but you'll get there. Poor lo is probably just knackered. Let us know how she is tomorrow.

Thanks Scattybird - but I really do think it has been a wind/overtired combo today... and the previous 8.5 months of grottiness has just been the way she is! DD1 was the same and grew out of it by 9 months, when she started crawling. I suppose if it is wind related, that would explain why crawling makes such a difference!

MeandmyJoe - ah, do you suffer from highchair issues as well? Back arching, whacking head on back of chair, general inability to stay in it for longer than about 5 minutes? Mostly she ends up on my lap stealing food from my plate - it's the only way I can get any solids in her!

She's asleep now BTW... hopefully we're in for a reasonable night now she has finally crashed out. will report back tomorrow

Bodkin, does she feed herself or do you spoonfeed her? DD not a highchair lover but happier once she was feeding herself.

Hi Mums,
any tips on settling active toddlers to sleep at night? At the moment, our DD of 20 months is putting us through over an hour of singing / talking, fidgeting in a manic manner, before she finally gives in to sleep. She's fine once asleep but we dread the evenings now, as we feel at a loss as to why this is happening, of what we can do to help her settle more easily.
Many thanks.

Mostly been doing BLW - I put a few interesting looking titbits on her tray, but she gets distressed too quickly to be able to eat very much - so then I move her on to my lap and she'll have a little bit off my plate, then she'll start fussing again, so then it's game over.

Hi Wikikki - you could try posting under "Sleep" - lots of very helpful people over there...

In the meantime - does she still have a daytime nap?

If its any help, my DD1 used to do this at that age, but she was quite happy in her cot, singing away (perhaps not for quite as long as an hour though, more like 30 mins) - I think it's just their way of winding down.

God, exactly the same! Back arching grunting and general grumpiness in high chair. Turning away from spoon and trying to get out, yet being really hungry when I stand and feed him in my arms. Wierd! Won't even sit still in the carseat for more than 5 mins without fussing and crying to get out! Was dd1 the same with the feeding issues too? It's grotty isn't it. Kind of a relief to know I'm not on my own though!

DS has horrendous wind for first 14 weeks, if he was awake he was crying unles being carried around! Still like this in many ways, just grumpy most of the time but not screaming in pain. Seems very touchy and moody

Still keep hanging on to that your dd1 improved, it's so hard though cos he even hates his pushchair so we end up carrying him in sling everywhere!

The only time he seems a little more settled is when he's in his walker so I really am hopefull that a lot of it is just frustration and immobility. I've always hated the idea of walkers and am a bit worried that it might actually delay crawling but I need half an hour arm free time!
How is dd2 today?

hi again - if it is wind (sounds like it!) an osteopath might be a huge help! My DD went to an osteo when newborn to relieve her wind and though it was excruciatingly embarrassing when she farted all through the sessions, her belly felt much softer afterwards and she was sooo much more relaxed for a full day afterwards. Trying some baby massage on the belly at bedtime might help too - just lay her down on her back, and very gently make a clockwise motion around her navel with your right hand.

GOOD LUCK

Hi again...much better day today, thank goodness. she's still pretty knackered but not screamy like yesterday. however, she just woke up 15 mins ago and is snuggled up on me as i type... no fever, but seems to have a bit of a chesty cough now...

anyway, we shall wait for the calpol to kick in and see how we go.

we nearly got a walker - we tried 2 but both were too big for her [she's only on the 9th centile]... glad to hear its giving you a bit of hands-free time though

thanks for your advice Quidditch - might be worth a try

right, shes getting grumpy now so i shall try her back in bed...

Bodkin, just found this thread, hope your lo is more settled today. Sounds like she grumpy and tired at having been sick.

Just had to post as I am feeling your pain ladies I am another with a high maintenance needs baby. She has just turned six months and I am still waiting for that magic turning point that everyone keeps going on about...the age keeps changing though

I am starting to think it is a conspiracy, first they told me six weeks then 3 months then 6, I am not impressed!! Also the excuses for unsettled behaviour range from colic (she never had this) to teething (don't think she really suffers this either), I am hoping that we don't have to go straight from the teething reason to the terrible twos...I keep wondering if she will ever be a content,happy gurgly one.

We just started weaning and I am having the same problems with the highchair, carseat and pushchair- hate the backarching thing. She hates to be confined i guess. Unlike yours though she won't sit in my slings (yes I have more than one) for more than 10mins and wants to constantly ride up on my shoulder or face forwards to see the world. This is exhausting as she is getting heavy...altough she is also a small one and only on the 9th.

Unfortunately she has just started to crawl and is still not that happy, sorry meandmyjoe, perhaps she will improve when she walks??

Any advice for taking such a grumpy baby on a 12 hour plane journey, she will be 10 1/2 months when we go and I am now terrified that she won't have changed at all by the time we go. Am keeping my fingers crossed that the magic turning point happens before then, otherwise the other passengers may lynch us

Hope your los improve soon xx.

Teething? Tom is a complete and utter nightmare when he does. Roll on the last 6 is all I can say!

Mmm in my case he wouild have had to have been teething since the day he was born which I doubt as he is 7.5 months and is still toothless and as grumpy as ever!

Oh Laksa, you have just shattered my last hope! lol. I really hoped that being mobile would be the turning point. It's so hard, you sound like you are coping so well though. I have been in tears today for the first time in ages with him. I can't seem to do anything right for him. Just dressing him makes him cry. Laying him down or sitting him up. Sometimes still whinges even when I'm carrying him today. Really upset that he is just going to be an awful child and I feel so guilty for disliking the way he acts. I'm housebound with him and dh is at work til 7pm so I'm knackred and lonely! Can't even go anywhere as he hates his pushchair and anywhere I take him he will cry anyway.

Well, Tom has been a right whinging little git boy really since he self weaned off the boob. He usually cries rather loudly when you go shopping. I once walked him into the £ shop and he laid on the floor, trying to get under the fixtures!

He has always been a backarcher when really whingey. You have to let him wake up properly before getting him out of his cot. He whines at every mealtime. Hates being in his highchair. He's even screamed our toddlers groups down a few times now.

He was sick in his cot last night and he's still not eaten or drunk anything yet. He goes into a screaming fit everytime you go near him with his breakfast or juice. I think I will go and have a shower and hope he is feeling better when I come out.

Oh dear, so I have many years of this ahead of me then? I really don't think I can do it, I was really pinning my hopes on him cheering up in the next few months.

Glad your dd2 is doing better though Bodkin, I really hope she continues to improve. My ds has whimpered and cried on and off all day. Feeling really shit today!

Oh MeandmyJoe - sorry to hear you're feeling a low - I've been so impressed with your positive attitude and your posts on the "overwhelmed" thread. It's so hard when the day stretches out in front of you with nothing to do but try and stop the crying. I think crawling does help (eventually, when they get proficient at it - so it might not be instant) but it might also be a developmental thing that happens around the 9 month mark that also seems to help them improve in temperament - they become more able to engage in their surroundings. So please continue to feel hopeful, even if it does feel like the goalposts keep moving.

And Laksa - sounds like your baby has come out of the same workshop as ours! The only thing I can suggest for the plane journey is something like Medised or Phenagan (I think that's how it's spelt) basically they make babies drowsy (anti-histamine in them)... I'm sure there must be other threads over in the travel section about babies and long-haul.
Do you have a pouch sling? That is the only kind that my DD2 will go in happily - no strapping-in involved - just pop her in and go, and you can carry them kind of sideways on your hip so they can look forward or behind you - good for nosey parkers.

I'm so sorry Meandmyjoe didn't mean to take your hope away...every child is different. I am being all doom and gloom today as dd was a right whinger and has severe separation anxiety at the moment. She kept crying her eyes out ( actually it was more like a redfaced screaming meltdown)everytime I left her side for a couple of mins.

In fairness she has gotten alot better than she used to be but I keep comparing her to other peoples babies who are content to sit in their carseats and pushchairs and gurgle happily at passersby. My baby stares down shop assistants and raises one eyebrow at them when they make cooing noises at her...it is quite funny actually. If I compare her to her younger self she has improved in many ways...she now wakes up very happy and will amuse herself in her cot as she has learnt to go from crawling position to sitting and so will wake up and play with her cuddly toys at the end of the cot...It is the only time I hear her 'talking'

I think she is another who gets progressively more tired throughout the day and so gets grumpier and grumpier but hopefully her stamina will get better the older she gets. I still think she will always be a holly terror with the pushchair thing though.

If we lived near eachother we could have had a grumpy baby meetup...only grumbly ones allowed!

xx

ok, so drugging her on the plane is doable, is medised strong enough This is the baby who makes fighting sleep her main hobby.

I am philosophical as she really does seem to be frustrated at being a little person, she wants to be doing everything we do ie picking up coffee cups (she spilt mine over me today) and walking around like we do. I feel really sorry for her, she is like an old woman trapped in a baby's body!

Heres hoping for a better day for everyone tomorrow.

xx

oh, bodkin I do have a coorie but haven't tried it in hip mode...think you can wear the coorie like this, will go check [check]

and you are right she is not good at the crawling thing at all yet can only move forward very sporadically at the moment which does seem to still frustrate her.

ok, must dash husband is holding a screaming baby out to me to put to bed.

Oh sorry if i've depressed you all. Actually, your posts are keeping me going! I have amazing moments of clarity where I am filled with hope and excitement about the future with ds and I love him so very very much. But then I look at him how he is at the moment and it just feels like any happiness with him is a lifetime away.

Can this miserable whingey, touchy baby ever become a happy, well adjusted child?! I scare myself shitless sometimes and sob at thinking there really could be something wrong with him to make him so unsettled and unhappy. What could I be doing wrong? Why isn't he like everyone elses babies? I love him so much that it hurts me that he is not happy.

Laksa I'm sure that your dd's sporadic crawling forward could be frustrating her even more and maybe that's why she's still whingey

On a brighter note, ds went to sleep on his own for naps today......... IN HIS COT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No rocking him with the extractor fan on! Major break through, he's always had trouble going to sleep in the day and fights it so much he get's hysterical and I have to put the extractor fan on to calm him down! I never understood how he could settle himself so well in his cot at night but not in the day. (Here's hoping it doesn't mess up his night sleep!) I shall report back tomorrow!

Well putting him in his cot for naps during the day does not seem to have affected his night sleep. I was a bit worried that it would confuse him and if he woke in the night he would just think he's had a nap and was ready to get up. Obviously I worry too much and he slept through as usual!

so pleased for you meandmyjoe, what are you gonna do with all the free time you will have...something productive like coming on mumsnet doing the ironing?

My dd is really good at going down in her cot for her morning nap but won't nap after about 11am for the rest of the day. This wouldn't be a problem if she was one of those happy babies who don't need much sleep but she definitely gets tired after about 2 hours of being awake. She is also waking twice in the night at the moment so I am a little worn out during the day Hey ho, it will get better, and dh gives me nice lieins at the weekend so he can spend time with her

xx

oh, we went through a phase of using the hairdryer to put her to sleep in her cot during the day for naps...but the effect wore off once she became more alert etc. I broke two hairdryers doing this, even tried a recorded cd of 'hairdryer music' but she would have nothing but the real thing