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Original poster

can't put down my 7 month old

60 replies

bumbly · 05/03/2008 10:07

and today lost it

been a real pain in the %^&% since birth....then found a sort of way of carrying him around but now he is too heavy and i need to put him down and leave him

i need too

he cant sit alone unaided and simply wont entertain himself

then when i am there he ignores me...

when am not there he screams as if tortured...

my mum hasnt helped and hwen went over to her place last week felt mnore exhausted than before as she is so critical

what do i do??...do i put him in nursery for a few days so i can have time to myself???

at wits end

never ending story with this little one

i cant carry him anymore

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Original poster
bumbly · 05/03/2008 10:07

i just am starting to really resent him as i have to be with him all the time and i dont want to

feel really bad but that is the way i feel

OP posts:
belgo · 05/03/2008 10:10

do you have a bouncy chair? i would put him in that and keep him very close to you so that he can see what you are doing. Also take him out for walks every day, and do you go to a mother and baby group?

Babies at this age are just desperate to be put of everything that is going on around them, and they cry because they are frustrated.

If you can afford it, a nursery for a couple of mornings a week is a good idea. It's very tough being in charge of a baby 24/7, and it's not shame to get some help.

Original poster
bumbly · 05/03/2008 10:18

weird as it sounds if i am there he cries more as he wants to be picked up

my bouncy chair is up to 6 months and so are most of others..cant afford more equipment as bought three chairs and three slings to sort this porblem out when infant and nothing worked

no more money now

today i have been letting him scream non stop all morning as am fed up since 7 am screaming..stops only if pick him up

feel sorry for his throat but i have had enough and cant cope

he wont even let me go to kitchen to have coffee

now screaming next to me at computer in case folk think am abdoning him

OP posts:
krugerparkrules · 05/03/2008 10:19

you could also try a bumbo, have some toys in front of him?
I sit with my daughter, and do things like opening the mail, etc, and she seems happy that i am around ... i bring her with me to rooms that i am doing stuff in, and leave toys around for her, and she crawls around (of course this is easier as she is now mobile)
Perhaps you could try and get some help and rest for a little, and then see how you feel ... when you are tired and stressed its hard to feel like doing anything, and perhaps a bit of help, from an impartial person would be best, give you some time to rest and be on your own.

belgo · 05/03/2008 10:21

I would take him for a walk in the pushchair.

Original poster
bumbly · 05/03/2008 10:24

doesnt fit in bumbo anymore

cant take him for walk - broke a leg

OP posts:
LIZS · 05/03/2008 10:25

Bung him in pushchair and go for a walk . It will do you good to feel a bit freer and may calm him down. Remember he is possibly going through separation anxiety now , on top of his earlier problems, and may be frustrated by his physical limitations for now. Just because he "ignores" you doesn't mean he doesn't feel comforted by you being there, will he let you put him down then ? If you have to elave the room keep talking to him so he knows youa re still there and will return.

Personally I doubt nursery is the answer (dd wouldn't have tolerated it nor they her ! ). What do you want to be able to do ?

LIZS · 05/03/2008 10:26

oh broken leg ?

Original poster
bumbly · 05/03/2008 10:35

yes healing but means am limited with walks - anyway pouring with rain

OP posts:
LIZS · 05/03/2008 10:39

will he stop crying if you get down on his level ? So could you sit and say read a paper whcile he plays alongside. if you sit on a chair say he may well want to be picked up but gradually on the floor level he may need it less so. Or sit him in highchair or pushchair to play , or if on your lap look through a book or two together.

What happened to leg btw? Whereabouts are you atm , bright sunshine here.

PotPourri · 05/03/2008 10:44

Do you talk to him? Might be a simple question. But a family member of mine doesn't speak to her baby, so he ends up doing things to get attention. I mean full on running comentary of what you're doing, and thinking. 'I'm just going to open this mail and then we can do blah blah....' I found that helped. Lots of childrens TV presenter chatting - they don't really understand at 7 monhts, so you can jsut be working out your shopping list and doing it in such an exciting way that they enjoy it.

I don't think any baby should need carried 24/7, but they do need something to be doing when they are on the floor etc. And it needn't cost money. Pots and pans and wooden spoons to play along while you cook, or make music while a nursery rhymes tape is on etc. show him what to do and then give big encouragemetn when he makes a noise or experiements etc. as he grows in confidence diong things on his own, then you might be able to have a quiet 5 mins.

Good luck. It will pass.

LIZS · 05/03/2008 10:52

I think you would find it helpful to have something to do outside your home , to distract you from the monotony and frustrations of your ds' behaviour. That could be taking up a an adult ed class if there is a creche or a mums and baby activity group (music, swimming etc) wchich could help his development and take soemof the pressure of entertinign him off you. Is there a Surestart operating locally to you there may be someone who could come in and help with ds short termr while you are incapacitated for example.

SpeckledHen · 05/03/2008 10:56

I have 7mo too and he is the same. Also have 2 older girls who went through this. At mo he is sleeping in the car after school and nursery run so I can have a breather. Later he will have a bath and I will feed him in it. Tehn I will sit down and cuddle when dd2 watches telly. Then school run and I will carry him round the park after. NO real advice. Tis hard. Must admit I do let him cry hwne I have to get things done - like cleaning the poo off the carpet that dd2 deposited this am. That is prob why he is sleeping now. KNackered poor thing.

Original poster
bumbly · 05/03/2008 15:07

little one has load sof things ton entertian ewiht but will only do so if am around

and when in room and he is screaming to be picked up - my presence def worsens situation cuase he sees and smells me

i do tlak to him thought not today as am in very bad mood and frnakly had enough!

OP posts:
lizziemun · 05/03/2008 15:19

Have you tried a baby walker.

DD2 is a total pain, crys at a drop of a hat. But since i put her in dd1 walker she is much happier because she can move around on her own accord.

StealthPolarBear · 05/03/2008 15:33

Oh bumbly wish I could help or suggest something?
Do you have anyone with LOs of a similar age you can invite round? Clinginess doesn't seem too bad when you have another adult to talk to?

lizandlulu · 05/03/2008 15:34

you have my sympathy bumbly, my dd wasnt as bad as this, but definatley had her moments.

i would give nursery a go, if only for a bit of time for yourself.
it wouldnt hurt to give it a try. they let you visit with the baby before comitting yourself to give you an idea of how they will react. if the staff think he might be ok to leave, then it would be worth it

LIZS · 05/03/2008 15:58

perhaps he has too many things to choose form , give one or two toys at a time so he can really explore them withotu beign distracted. Also how about 15 minutes of one to one then gradually increase how long you give him after that to play by himself starting with say 2 minutes. Some children do need a lot of adult input , to be showed how to play or just that it is fun to explore, and while it may not be the interaction you anticipate it may be enoguh for him. btw if he liked his bouncy chair I'd use it(with supervision) unless he tips it, dd was well over a year in hers !

thisisthelast · 05/03/2008 18:05

Will he sit on your lap and play or does he have to be up and carried? My dd has to be up at adult level being carried around. It's knackering and I too have started a post very similar to yours! I have days where I am completely at my wits end and just start to loose my temper and bang my head against a wall. It's frustrating and miserable.

Original poster
bumbly · 05/03/2008 19:50

will look up your post

no has to be hugged effectively...

lo just vomited all over bathroom carpet etc and thus i missed my one eve out for the month...3 times in a row now

not happy and really getitng no life and nothing improving

not had a good day in along while and break with my family turned out v stressful

so this carrying all the time is not what i need at the moment!

pissed off, angry and tired

OP posts:
thisisthelast · 05/03/2008 20:01

I totally understend. Everyone keeps telling me it will pass but I am similarly exhausted and really feel like crying most days (as you will read in my previous posts see thread: please help- losing the plot with 6.5 month old!)

I really have no advice for you bumbly, other than what people have told me and that is that when they get mobile they should be happier.

It's so hard as everyone keeps telling me that it's just frustration making my baby unhappy- well then why the hell doesn't she just crawl then?!!!! I know it sounds unreasonable but I really am wishing babyhood away at the minute. I can't wait for her to be a toddler when I can actually understand her a bit more. I'm so fed up with the way things are. I can't go anywhere or do anything without constant whinging and screaming and I really can't see an end to it either. I'm so sorry your so fed up. Is there anyone that could lend a hand during the day? I have noone to help and I get so lonely and go slightly loopy as dp works VERY long hours.

Sorry I can't be of much help but I have lots of sympathy!

StealthPolarBear · 05/03/2008 22:02

bumbly, I have wondered whether to post this as I feel like I'm sticking my nose in, so tell me to shut up if you'd prefer.
You seem to start a lot of threads where you seem anxious, stressed or depressed, could you have PND? Are you still in touch with your HV?
I'm sorry if I'm sticking my oar in but I had to at least mention it. I also don't mean to downplay this thread, my DS has periods where he just wants to be carried, but that's for an hour or so at a time, if it was constant it would be incredibly stressful

Original poster
bumbly · 06/03/2008 07:49

well i will admit was depressed yesterday but generally no not at all - just overwhelmed by it all

my hv thinks i am doing very well - though i disagree with her - but then again she told me to feed lo toast dipped in egg!!

OP posts:
Original poster
bumbly · 06/03/2008 07:49

thisisthe last: am thinking of you and i hope your probs resolve as quickly as possible!!!

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 06/03/2008 08:14

sounds like you are feeling better today?
lol at the runny eggs, but I bet she's right about you doing well!
will go and stick my huge polar bear nose in another thread