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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Have sent 7 yr old twins to bed with no dinner-feeling really bad now...

32 replies

trixie68 · 05/02/2008 20:45

Only my third ever post. I advertised an item to sell in our local paper & someone was coming round to see it this evening (really need the money). I asked DD1 & DS1 to look after the dog and well keep out of the way really & guess what! Person came round & had not read the advert properly(did not buy-araargh) but kids came down with dog in the middle of it all after being told many times before hand not to. I went erm well a bit mad & sent them to bed without dinner. They have eaten since school, left over lunch (on way home in car), pancakes and other cakes-thanks PTA, so they were not starving but I have never been so cross. Took DS's & DD's Nintendo DS's away & two other toys. DD is distraught but DS could not care less. DH came home & thought I had been a bit harsh!
Have I been?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

fizzbuzz · 05/02/2008 20:50

Errrrm...a bit....

Wait until they are teenagers and answer the phone to someone wanting to buy something, and say "Yes it's OK to come at such and such a time ".........without asking you..Grrrrr

They are only little

rachaelsara · 05/02/2008 20:51

Maybe a bit, but they won't do it again!

KerryMum · 05/02/2008 20:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

chelsygirl · 05/02/2008 20:52

wouldn't send them to bed with no dinner either, bit cruel to me

themildmanneredjanitor · 05/02/2008 20:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WideWebWitch · 05/02/2008 20:54

Yes imo thast was harsh, expecting 7yos to completely keep an animal out of the way is hard. And why, anyway? It's your house.

Say sorry. I would.

chelsygirl · 05/02/2008 20:54

is this cos they brought the dog downstairs??

the person wasn't going to buy whatever you were selling anyway?

snowleopard · 05/02/2008 20:59

blimey. It's not really that bad is it? I can think of far, far, far worse behaviour. Are you sure your anger wasn't largely misplaced and actually you were angry with the timewaster who visited?

Meeely2 · 05/02/2008 21:01

bit harsh i think, being seven and nosey - could just have introduced them to said caller, "these are my two kids, oh and my dog, anyway, thanks for coming, bye now, must feed the children....."

Original poster

trixie68 · 05/02/2008 21:04

I know I sound really horrible but I had told them so many times how important it was about this person coming round plus the poor dog is getting on a bit and ended up being dragged down the stairs by her collar and ended up 'snorting' because she could not get her breath in front of the buyer/non buyer. I have never ever done this before but twins have started to gang up lately-answering back, not doing what they are asked etc. Loas of stuff-too long to go into but this is the first time I have really gone mad-sounds like it will be my last.

OP posts:

Meeely2 · 05/02/2008 21:08

i think you chose the wrong moment to have your first gone mad moment - i think maybe i would have chosen biro on the walls - toast in the dvd player, but not coming downstairs in their own home....take a deep breath and go and apologise to your kids.

Original poster

trixie68 · 05/02/2008 21:11

Feel really scared now byall the negatives. I AM NOT a bad mum just had one major blip. Sorry if I upset/disgusted anyone. Will now withdraw from Mumsnet. Apoligises to all especially my children & to everyone else thank you for your comments and best wishes to you all.

OP posts:

colditz · 05/02/2008 21:15

You can't banish them to their bedroom for your convenience then punish them for being 7 and wanting to see who was in the house, get them up and give them some dinner and don't be so mean!

speak2deb · 05/02/2008 21:16

C'mon Trixie. Don't be like that.

eandh · 05/02/2008 21:17

well you were a bit harsh,however, there are times when it all gets to much and it seems the easiest thing to do a that moment in time

You wont do it again, you can apologise when they wake up and they may have had a chance to think about it and you have learnt a huge lesson so please dont be to hard on yourself

stoppinattwo · 05/02/2008 21:22

Think were all being a bit harsh now too, trixie said she felt bad, the twins didnt listen to her, sounds like she is a bit stressed too. I remember my mum sending me to bed with no tea for what seemed like minor indiscretions trixie and i got over it.

they will be ok, dont feel bad, if that is the worst thing you ever do your doing a good job, and you are a good mum, if you wernt you wouldnt be sharing your feelings with us

singyswife · 05/02/2008 21:22

No you stick to your guns. Okay maybe it was a bit harsh but dont go up there and apologise otherwise they will always think they can disobey you. I am by everyones opinion, everyone has a breaking point and if they have been pushing thier luck lately then they should be taught that it is not on and you are the boss. I know it seems like a silly reason to do it but if they pushed their luck once to often then hell mend them. I would just start tomorrow as another day. You are not a bad mum, you do your best the same as the rest of us. Dont beat yourself up.

clutteredup · 05/02/2008 21:23

Hi Trixie, I've been horrid to my DC on many occasions, and yes maybe you did overreact a bit but who of us hasn't. It sounds like you're having a hard time at the moment and this was the last straw, we all get like that and the DC are often the ones who light the spark. It sounds like they had a lot to eat before they went to bed , so don't worry, you're not an awful mum, and I'm sure you twins will have forgotten all about it soon.Have a nice evening, give yourself a bit of time off and have an early night. Hope things get better for you. Oh and tell them you love them in themorning, though I'm sure they know it anayway

Original poster

trixie68 · 05/02/2008 21:48

Thank you for the last two postings. Yes I probably did overeact a bit but surely two 7 year olds know the difference between right and wrong? After all surely they are taught this at school as well as home? Anyone else on this discussion had twins and know what it is like? I kind of thought I might get a bit of adivce but now feel like the worst mother ever. My twins are my life TOTALLY-no question. They are part of me & DH but just sometimes it is hard going and coming onto a site like this you might get answers to a question that we are not sure about. Did not expect a 'there there' but blimey!

OP posts:

tori32 · 05/02/2008 22:08

Maybe a bit OTT for the crimes! They might have thought the person was about to leave and that it was ok to reappear? Also, the punishment did not relate to the crime IYSWIM. I would only withhold food if they refused a meal and later wanted something else. I would maybe then send them to bed straight after the meal finished.

colditz · 05/02/2008 22:21

You did get answers to the question you weren't sure about, you just didn't like the answers.

Happens a lot round here.

scotlass · 05/02/2008 22:28

Aw Trixie I just wanted to say I sympathise. I had an almighty tantrum from my DD8 after school cos she didn't want to put on a pair of tracky bottoms and I was MAD (I remove myself from her cos she just keeps going on and on!). It's really stressfull and twins I'm sure are even more so. At the end of the day they won't starve, just give them a big brekkie and have a calm conversation when you've all had a sleep about why you were upset. I don't think it sounds like it was to do with coming down, more that they hadn't listened and respected what you had asked. Yes they are 7 and curious but I think they are old enough to understand stay upstairs for a bit. Don't leave MN feeling like a rubbish mum, I'm sure everyone has handled a situation with their LO's that they would do differently another time, you'll make it up to them tomorrow and they will most likely apologise to you too, kids are very forgiving.

Original poster

trixie68 · 05/02/2008 22:29

Thanks Colditz so much for your opinion-really helpful and understanding-what a stange name you chose-wonder why!

OP posts:

colditz · 05/02/2008 22:33

I've had this name for 4 years. There are numerous explanations given as to why i chose this name, have a little search if you're that curious.

NappyValley · 05/02/2008 22:37

Sounds like you have hit a bit of a raw nerve with a lot of people Trix. Love a good MN debate.

We all lose it at times, you are not a bad mum, just a mum having a bad day.

Just check with yourself, that you were so tough because of the build up of nautiness and not that you were cross the person did not buy, and took it out on the twins.

It must be a real challenge with twins. I guess sometimes it must feel like they have their own little club sometimes.

Sleep well and maybe return the Nintendos in the morning. Nothing says I love you like getting your games back

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