7yo son has asked me what does gay and lesbian mean?

[shatteredmumsrus]

Initial reaction from dp was why do you want to know that??Icalmed it down and said I will tell you when you are a bit older. What would you do????????????????

I would tell him.

If he is asking, it is because he has come across some reference. Much better from you than from an unreliable source.

And there's nothing wrong wioth the knowledge, anyway.

I would say 'lesbians are women who want to live with another womean - not a man. So, if she was getting married, it would be to a woman' and the reverse for a man.

DS, 6, knows anyway. And sees it as no big deal.

Which it isn't.

I would tell him. Don't see a problem with explaining in simple terms at all.

I would do exactly what Blu suggests.

There is nothing wrong with knowing about this.

I explained. I said there are different types of relationships, that most men and women fall in love with each other, but some men fall in love with other men and some women love women, and that all of these kinds of love were equally good and OK. DSD accepted no probs or confusion.

Same as Blu. I'd tell him.

had this convo with DS who is 8.5 almost. he had picked up the word gay as an insult from school.. he thought it was the same as loser or lame ...

i put him straight, pretty much said what Blu said

gay men have boyfriends instead of girlfriends

he was cool with that

it is not a big deal you don;t have to go into how they have sex or anything!

My ds1 also 7 asked the same last year - so we explained much the same as blu says. It actually arose when he saw something about a gay civil marriage on TV news.

thx you lot i would rather he heard from me and not someone else thanks

Hi Shattered, I have been honest with my dd, she came to me and asked this question when she was about that age. I find that been honest was the best bet, children talk about these types of things at school and end up with wrong information. It becomes a big deal if you don't answer a question and then it becomes more of a challenge to find out the answer. You dont need to go into graphic detail but maybe the basics

tell him

Incidentally - I wanted her to know because she had heard 'gay' being used as term of abuse in playground and I wanted her to know better.

I think you're right, Shattered.

I hate this whole 'gay' playground thing. It's already rife in Yr 2 - and I wnat DS to have a different perspective from the outset. SO much more cool!

Never EVER say 'I'll tell you when you're older.'

You need to answer in simple matter of fact terms he will understand.

So... something like this...

Right, you know mummy and daddy live together and sleep in the same bed?

Yes

Well some men don't want to live with a lady they want to live with a man instead. And some ladies don't want to live with a man they want to live with a lady.

Then you'll have questions about do they kiss each other etc and you answer them all in a simple matter of fact way.

That's all... no fuss, no mystery, and NEVER something that he's asked you about that is something that you won't discuss. He'll get his answers elsewhere anyway, and they may not be the ones you want him to have. How do you think he heard the words in the first place?

exactly , blu !!

Message withdrawn

Told my dd in simple terms and she accepted it without any concerns.

She is 9 now and when she saw the gay kiss in Torchwood she made the eeh type reaction that 9 year old girls seem to like, but when we chatted about it she was fine.

I answer questions when they arise and always tell her she can ask me anything. I don't want her ever afraid to be able to confide in me.

my dd is 5yrs and i tell her about my friend who has a girlfriend. I want dd to grow up thinking love is what is important, not gender of ppl involved.

I remember asking my mum the same thing when I was 8...she told me what it meant and my first response was "well, how to do two men have sex? They're aren't any holes!", she didn't answer that one.

lol branflake

What did you mum come up with?

I'd tell him, btw.

i would tell him. its life. it isnt dirty or wrong, or anything for people to be ahsamed about.
if kids get things explained properly to them then there wouldnt be as much bullying, picking on people for being different, making people feel like theres something wrong with them.

My dd (6.8) recently asked me what a 'limmian' is. She understood my explanation as she already knows that 2 women can marry each other but then went on ask how can they have babies because women don't have willies and that 'special liquid called semmen'. I must confess I stumbled over that one

What blu said. We stepped in to tell ds at six after he asked us why "gay" was an insult - as overheard being used in the playground
He has not asked us specifically about lesbian but we'd tell him the same if it arose. He knows that men and women can be in gay relationships.
I think you are right shattered - you telling him is the way it should be.

Off-track slightly, but I really HATE the fact that 'gay' is used as a term of abuse at DDs school. The school does a brilliant job of making it clear to children why racism is wrong, and pulling up anyone who makes a racist comment, but honophobia is totally overlooked. When I spoke to the head about it, he said 'racism is wrong, but calling someone gay is just a playground insult.'