7yo son has asked me what does gay and lesbian mean?

[shatteredmumsrus]

Initial reaction from dp was why do you want to know that??Icalmed it down and said I will tell you when you are a bit older. What would you do????????????????

okay i will mention it casually when im making supper, thankyou i will update you all on the reaction, if any.....

when dd1 started reception I noticed her running round with her friends shouting "homey" at each other. I was horrified and really suprised at how early it had started. I then realised they were playing tag and it just meant "home".

dds have known that some people fall in love with and marry people of the same sex for as long as they've known people fall in love and marry. dh's aunt married a woman a couple of years ago.

I find it so reassuring and hopeful that a whole generation of kids are growing up in a world where gay marriage is just part of how life is.

youve made the right choice to tell him shatteredmumsrus. good luck

my niece whos just turned 3 has known for months what "gay" is. but then she is super bright and my ds is gay as is my nephew.

I was asked this when I was teaching Y5 and said more or less the same as Blu - a gay man has a boyfriend. Very simple. They just said, 'Oh, ok..." and were happy with the information. I did talk to their parents at the end of the day to warn them what had been asked and what I'd said and they were fine with it.

Just to add to those whose DCs say urrgh at gay kissing - so do my DCs but they also say it if they catch me kissing DH!

Haven't read the whole thread, just the OP ...
I never say "I'll tell you when you are older" - I firmly believe that there is nothing you can't tell a child as long as you keep your explanation age appropriate. The minute you say "I'll tell you when you are older" you make it secretive and then they begin to obsess ...
So, when DS (8 now but he asked when he was 7) asked me what 'gay' meant I told him that it meant when 2 men loved eachother instead of a man and woman loving eachother. He said "Oh" and that was that. Question answered - no big deal.
And in response your DH's "Why do you want to know that?" (my DH would have said the same) - ALL children hear words in the playground ... sad as it is, there are going to be other 7 year olds that your DS plays with who will throw away words like 'gay' 'lesbian' 'sex' etc etc (including swear words) all the time. Rejoice in the fact that your DS comes home and asks you what it means ...

Blu, have you raised the issue of the use of "gay" as a playground insult with the school? It shouldn't be tolerated, but it's possible the school may not realise it is going on. My children's primary school worked with School's Out to review its equal opportunities and bullying policies - yours could presumably do the same.

Oh dear, shouldn't be an apostrophe there. I'll be drummed out of Pedants' Corner for that...

No... you have all your apostrophes in the correct places 10/10

The error's in the link, fortyplus.

No... 'school's out... short for school is out... it's correct.

Things Mummy Never Told Me is twee but a nice book - it includes a page about men falling in love with men adn woen falling in love with women. I think you could read that and say "and what's the word when a man falls in love with a man?" or something similar and explain it like that? (Now the moment has passed, I mean.)

fortyplus, the group to which I linked spells its name without an apostrophe - take a look at the website.

redadmiral that's rather shocking. I would have thought that even primary schools have a duty to confront victimization on all grounds - race religion gender sexuality etc.

Even though this isn't, presumably, a case of a specific child being bullied, they shouldn't be allowing 'gay' as an insult, because of the impact (later on, perhaps) on gay teens. In any case, so many say that they already knew, at primary age, that they were gay.

If you can be arsed (I could be, I think) I would write a letter outlining what was said at the meeting, and asking him to confirm in writing that this is in fact school policy, with the implication that you will be taking it to the LEA for clarification if so, since you thought that homophobia was taken seriously these days even at primary level blah blah blah.

Sorry, rather fractured response, in a bit of a rush, but this is very wrong I think.

I agree with enid re mentioning love.

I also wouldn;t be necessarily concerned about "eeeew" type reactions - in that kids have this to lots of stuff about relationships (kissing, and when it comes to it, making babies, and the idea of sex not for making babies, the latter being one I have yet to be asked about). it's just new stuff to them that they can't imagine themselves doing. it's like when you put a new food infront of them...

Thank you onebatmother. It still rankles actually, the way I was fobbed off, and I did put my case as strongly as I could. It actually sickened me as it was the first time I'd ever heard DD1 say anything prejudiced, and we have very close friends who are gay that she's known all her life.

Haven't got time to read all the links now, but will go through them later. (DD's school is CofE, now linked to an evangelical church, and has at least 50% muslim pupils, so it may be a case of dealing sensitively with religious principles. Not that I think that should take precedence for a second, but just evaluating the battle )

PS, To throw another thing into the mix, some people have said, 'but it's from The Simpsons isn't it?'

I'm finding this thread quite surprising. The fact that a lot of people are treating being gay as an 'issue' and the OP - my goodness what year is it?

My three children have always known that some people are gay as far as I'm concerned it's a non-issue. Treating it as something that warents 'sitting the child down' to explain is making it a big deal. It's not.

My 8 year old dd can't understand why it's used as an insult and I'm very proud of her for that reaction.

scanner - I've read the thread as the vast majority saying the opposite - that it's not a "sit down and talk" issue. In fact I'm not sure anyone has suggested handling it like that have they?

have only read the op -- I say tell him now. He's not too young to understand that a man can love a man and a woman can love a woman. It doesn't have to be a graphic discussion about sex.

Ds1(8yo) and ds2 (6yo) both know that gay mean a man who loves and man or woman loves a woman.

No big deal IMO.

can i just say that my ds2 15 and gay, says "oh that is gay" and "you are sooo gay" all the time!
i dont think that its taken very seriously when said in the school playground is it?! its just one of them words that kids say!

fortyplus: "Just to add to those whose DCs say urrgh at gay kissing"

My favourite Simpsons quote:

Milhouse: Urgh. Bart kissed a girl. That's so gay.

Only read OP

My sil is gay and dd has always been aware that she has a girlfriend.

When she asked me about it I said that some girls have boyfriends and some have girlfriends, some boys have girlfriends and some have boyfriends.

It is, after all, a fact of life. Nothing to make a big deal out of IMO

I love the Simpsons