It's time for a 'marvellous poncy things my child has said and done today' thread

[FrannyandZooey]

DS's triumphs for the day were:

a floaty kind of dance - "I am an anemone dancing to the music of the waves"

"When I die, don't bury me - I am too beautiful. Put me in a glass coffin."

not his butchest day ever

DS2 (12) In his thank you letters

"Thank you for your valued contribution to the purchase of a Playstation 3"
And to someone who sent £50 cheque (instead of the normal tenner)
"Thank you for your significant contribution to the purchase of....."

no! Swedes! really?
oh superb..

We made him change the letters, shame really.

lol puffling.

dd was contemplating tails the other day after a reading of The Gruffalo's Child.

dd "I haven't got a tail"
me "No..."

dd "Mummy hasn't got a tail"
me "No..."

dd
"Daddy's got a tail!!"

Loving this thread. Will offer this contribution from dd1.

DD: Mummy I feel like a bulb.
Me: What do you mean, you feel like a bulb?
DD: Well, I'm the bulb, and you're the wire and when we connect it makes me light up.

Dd2's headteacher had a word with me the other day to say that she'd been crying in assembly and when questioned would only say that she was missing dd1 (who has been at a different school since September; dd1 in Year 3 at Junior School, dd2 in Year 1 in Infants). I assumed that it was something and nothing and wasn't too worried, but later I said to her 'Mrs X tells me that you were missing DD1 the other day', to which she replied: 'Oh, you don't want me to talk about that again, do you? I talked it through in a lot of detail with Mrs X'.

we have a caravelle van thing where middle row of seats can face backwards and make a 'cabin'.

so we're out one day, dp driving with dss in front, and me in the back with ds 1, 2 and 3 (ages; 4, 3 and 2)... taking it in turns to 'sing songs' we make up on the spot (about poo and bums mostly, but some things we see out window etc) it comes round to 4yo ds1's turn and he pipes up with 'im so lucky coz i am rich, im so lucky coz i am rich...'

what the fark do you say to that??

dd walked 10 steps! nuff said

lol this is sooo funny

DD (2yo) often tells me to "shush mama watchin balamory"
not so much poncey but a bit of an insight into either the fact that she thinks i talk too much or the fact that she watches too much TV

also when my cousin was abot 3yo (hes 14 now) he was on a butlins holiday with my aunty and nan and grandad. they were sat in the complex(?) restaraunt and my nan (v overweight at the time) ordered pizza and chips and when the order came the chips had been forgotten off the order... it went like this...
ei's nan: excuse me waiter you have forgotten my chips
waiter: sorry madam,
ei's cousin: forget that part shes on a diet,
ei's nan: shush (eis cousin)
ei's cousin: no wonder you're a fat bastard nanny.

xx ei xx

Not really anything she said, but DD asked for a slice of bread and butter the other day, so I gave her the bread and she went into the living room with it. Whilst I was finishing off in the kitchen, I could hear her muttering to herself about sticks, but couldn't hear her properly.

When I went into the living room, she is sitting on the floor with a crayon shoved into the middle of the bread. She is eating bread from around the crayon whilst telling me that it is the best bread on a stick she has ever tasted

Message withdrawn

love ellbell's little bulb!!!

My ds (5) said

"I wish I could walk on water like Jesus.......but he's dead and in heaven with his beast mate God!"

Not poncey, but indicative of how my children spend a lot of their time:

DS1 'When is the 31st Jan?'

Me. 'Sometime next week, Thursday I think, your dad gets paid!'

DD1.'Ah thats when the Hilarys Furniture sale ends.'

Time to switch off the old, er, the old er, Google box.

dd wrote herself a note:

"Dear ME
I Love you,
love,
me"

OK!!!

these are wonderful. love both of Ellbell's and swede's thank you letters.

I'll repeat one of mine (been told on her before)

me and dd on a train with a newspaper. I start pointing to some simple words to see if dd could read with them. she struggles with, and we talk about "CAT"; she struggles with and we talk about "MAN"; we turn the page and her face lights up on seeing an advert - at the top of her voice for the whole carriage to hear: "I know what that says mummy. It says "WAITROSE"

I think my worst experience was in Waterstone's looking for a book of simplified Shakespeare for children. Ds2 (who was 6 at the time) was looking at one and suddenly announced (very loudly): "Oh, I don't want this one, Mummy, it doesn't include Hamlet".

dd1 came home from her friends house after tea " we had burgers from the freezer" (she makes her own with my bf

dd2 has started telling everyine she is rich and which houses she is going to buy when she is 7.

this is for the edinburgh lot. dd went through a stage of calling all cafe's valvonna and crolla. and her favourite shop is john lewis. not poncey more middle class bourgeois, i am sooo proud.

oh and glass coffin is fantastic buy him those princess pants NOW.

Love Ellbells bulb story. That would have made me blub.

Not exactly poncey, but DD asked me in the car 'Mum, why is Pete Doherty so silly?'
(I thought it was a reasonable query, but wasnt sure what she was on about)
Me:'Silly in what way?'
Her: 'Singing he wants to be a dog'
Me; 'What???'
Turns out she meant Ian Brown, singing I wanna be adored

Have just remembered this. When DS1 was about 18 months old his grandmother had a house in France and was determined that he should learn some French. One day we were setting off to drive the 300 miles to see grandma and as we put DS1 in his car seat he said: "I don't want to say bonjour or au revoir"

This weekend, calling DS (4.5) for a snack, he pops to the office door and calls back

"what is it my little darling?"

4 going on 44 that one!

dd2 swooping through kitchen theatrically singing "could I beeeeeeeeee.... the most beautiful girl in the woooorrrrrld - oh yes I aaaammmmm!)....no self esteem issues there then!

also told by parent of her friend who'd invited her round for lunch that when asked what she'd like in her sandwiches she'd replied smoked salmon - but then had considerately added - oh dont worry if you haven't got it...pate will do! (mortified)

DS2 (he of the "I'm growing a bush") asked me to order him a game from a website, telling me he'd pay me for it so I wouldn't be out of pocket. I tried to explain that, if he paid me cash, I'd usually spent it by the time I had to pay my credit card bill so I would be, albeit not technically, out of pocket.

His response was "I really don't think I can be held responsible for your financial mismanagement, Mother."