Odd things your child is doing that might possibly amuse us

[FrannyandZooey]

Ds has been cutting small bits of paper, putting them into a pile and saying "this is my feesis (thesis ). Ooh it is hard work doing this feesis." etc

He is currently singing a song called, as far as I can make out "Shitus Meninditis"

DD1 fell over about 2 weeks ago and has a small scab on her knee, now everytime she sees it she says 'Ow mummy, mind hurt knee, poor hurt knee' and limps about a bit before she forgets and carries on as normal.
Then the scab came off earlier and in the bath she said 'ow mummy, mind hurt....oh...where hurt knee go?'

DD (3) over xmas called her nan in to look at some big xmas baubles I had on the tree.
Her words were ' look at these big decorations, they look just like your bum'

This morning DD (17 months) got up early and so I was letting her toddle round our room while I half dozed. She likes to "sort laundry" so was carrying clothes from the bedroom into our ensuite. At one point I realised she had been suspiciously quiet for some time. I went into the ensuite to find all the clean laundry stuffed into the toilet and DD balancing her tummy on the edge of the toilet seat while leaning down the loo in order to push the clothes further down .

I forgot this one DD is obsessed with death and every now and again in the car she will say

'poppies in heaven now'
me - Thats right, she got run over

'and we were very sad, and we all cried, because were never going to see her again now'

me - 'hmm yes love'

'if I die, youll cry and be sad, and daddy'

me- yes love we will but you arent going to die yet

'and nanny will be sad, and grandad, and uncle, auntie, ds'then proceeds to list all her friends in school etc..and they will all cry because they will miss me so much.

By the time we get out of the car shes managed to depress us all. While shes happily chatting about something else.

Ds (age 6) and I at bed time tonight:

Me - I lov eyuo all the way to Mars and back

Ds - I love you all the way to Her-anus and back

ds2 (22 months)keeps doing a bizarre dance that involves putting his hands behind his back, leaning forward and prancing around in the style of liam gallagher.

My DS (age 3) likes to play doctors. He gets the set out and is fairly accurate with the examination (both DH and I are docs so, well, you know, we taught him well ) but when he gets to the pair of scissors he cheerfully starts to pretend to cut the hair of the patient (usually Daddy) and says "doing anything nice this weekend?"

Cracks us up every time.

Especially as (I assume) that is what he thinks I do at work. Perhaps I should start, mid examination "does that hurt? and this? and [snip snip snip] going anywhere nice this weekend?"

at bedtime tonight ds1 (2.5) ...

"you need a new brain mummy. I drill a hole in your head and put a new one in. I use teddy to fix the hole."

Every time i crouch down to do something like get the washing out the machine or pick something up a little 16mo hand lifts up my clothes and kisses the exposed skin between the top of my trousers and top. It is soooo sweet.

DD 2.5 has taken to playing 'websites' - yes I know too much time on Mumsnet , which involves pretending to push buttons on her noddy book whilst telling DH that he is Mr Tumbles (thanks to cbeebies sit) . Also has taken to replying to 'high five' with 'on the side' .
Also we went to an afternoon Jazz Dance club that DH dj'd at yesterday and she was soooo excited. She woke up yesterday morning and said 'is it sunday morning?' 'are we going clubbing?'

Fortyplus that is the funniest thing I've read in a long time!

Dd(23mo)'s favourite book is EPPP, except this this week the opening lines have changed to:
"Each Peach Pear Plum, I spy 's bum"!!! Made dh and I posl!

DD (4.5yrs) refused to help tidy up her toys the other day. When I asked "why?" she said,

"I'm too busy Mummy, I have to phone my clients"

I was a bit tbh ....

I took my friends little one to a local soft pla area when we got thirsty we headed over to the food counter and a spotty teenager was chatting and ignoring us so I muttered "Oh Come on" under my breath and A 29 months copied me extremely loudly - at least it got us some service

ds (3yo) is trying to change his Dsisters (21mths) nappy, saying 'you stinky bum, get here you little sausage' while she proceeds to run round laughing her head off....!!

we also had a dress up day the other evening with the box of disney princess outfits dd got from santa, ds was given his lion costume and once it was on he burst into tears saying 'but i just want to be a fairy mummy'....me and DH laughed, but he didn't understand why!!

DS1 (age 4) is totally obsessed with an alien who he claims lives in his body and is responsible for all evil, etc. (Is this from Ben 10??)

Last night as we were walking home we saw a white van speeding down our road. He pronounced:

'It is as if they don't know there are CHILDREN here! If I met them I would say to them, I am a child what is only human! But I have an alien inside me and I am going to unzip my forehead and let it out and then you will be sorry!!'

Am amused but slightly concerned for his sanity.

My DD has tucked the top of the bean bag into the back of her trousers and is walking around dragging the bean bag behind her. This, she claims, is her willy and she is "making pissy" on the floor.... Do I call the men in white suits?

DD1 has been busy planning her 5th birthday party (Her birthday isn't until the end of April, but I made the fatal mistake of mentioning it a couple of weeks ago.)

She has been writing lots of invitations for the party, and making posters to advertise it "so everybody will come". She can't write much yet so the posters and invitations are pages covered in random letters and numbers. She has also planned the games and the party bags. She wants to have a treasure hunt at the party, "and the person who finds the most chocolate coins gets to ride in the booster seat to Granny and Grandpa's house, and then have chocolate pudding, and then stay there for 20 days."

DD (10 months) has discovered how to unlock the catflap and is trying very hard to stick her

head through it,whilst making growling noises

DS (nearly 8) has coloured in the zebra crossing on his roads rug. When asked why by DH he replied "The cars kept having to stop and it was annoying me". I think I've overdone the road safety!

mine thank the lord are asleep!!! After 4 hours of being princesses, mummies and a train - we all need some sleep!!!
dd1 (2.5) actaully turned to me and went "time go bed mommy?) her lil sis (18 months) just ran to the door chanted bed bed bed. Turned round ran back to living room, picked up iggle piggle back to door and chanted again bed bed bed. I have never been happier!!!

getting ready for work his morning and I out on a blue suit with a slightly different colour blue top. Cue DD (5) looking me up and down with a look of disdain and uttering "Mum, that really doesn't match).

DS3 (4) announced that his class would be making a house with wigs at school today. (He means twigs, they are making a living willow structure on school field)

Last night i was in DS's bed trying to convince him to lie down and go to sleep so he sat up next to me, stroked my hair and back, whilst saying 'bye byes mummy'

dd has just noticed dh has different bits to us, she has decided to call it his winkey and brings it into every conversation.