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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

First period - something to celebrate?

233 replies

DarthVader · 29/12/2007 18:35

I am making plans with my 8 year old about how we will celebrate her first period! How did other people celebrate this milestone with their daughters?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

pinetreedog · 30/12/2007 10:43

I spose I think like Abbey

GreenGlassGoblin · 30/12/2007 10:46

I can't say I wish my mum had celebrated with me. Like most people on this thread I would have been mortified. But I do wish she had been able to be pleased in some way. Instead I just had a box of pads left out on her dressing table once a month, no discussion, an understanding that this was not to be mentioned. The pads leaked (I was very heavy from the start), and I never even knew there were alternatives. I knew the biology, I knew what was happening (I was 11), but I was made to feel ashamed and secretive. I love the engraved charm idea. It could be done quietly and sensitively, but would be such a positive gesture.

holidaywonk · 30/12/2007 10:47

Would you like to come with me to a women-only retreat where we craft products from our dried blood whilst practising throat-singing, piney?

pinetreedog · 30/12/2007 10:50

that sounds idiotic interesting, wonks

pinetreedog · 30/12/2007 10:51

will there be a tampon pyre?

pinetreedog · 30/12/2007 10:54

My own experience was just like yours, glass. but of course I'm not at all like that with my own dc.

holidaywonk · 30/12/2007 10:54

almost certainly. And a giant rubbery mooncup goddess.

holidaywonk · 30/12/2007 10:56

Would I be right in thinking that those of us whose mothers were positive about menstruation have grown up being similarly positive, whilst those of you whose mothers were negative, embarrassed or silent about it have grown up being similarly negative? Isn't that an argument in itself for DV doing something positive for her DD when the time comes?

foxinsocks · 30/12/2007 11:01

I think they are a faff and a PITA. Mine were also heavy and painful right from the start grrrr so that's why I formed that opinion of them.

Had nothing to do with what I was told or wasn't told.

pinetreedog · 30/12/2007 11:05

My mother was negative.

I am matter-of-fact, scientific and calm in my approach. That is not negative.

annoyingdevil · 30/12/2007 11:18

i was raised to believe it was something positive and that the blood was nourishment for the baby - not something disgusting. Consequently, none of the women in my family have problems with them - the odd cramp, yes. But not the misery most women seem to suffer. Hopefully, my dd will view them in the same way

maximummummy · 30/12/2007 11:24

mooncups - the whole idea makes me feel sick

maximummummy · 30/12/2007 11:25

in fact bodily fluids in general make me a bit queesy[sp]

holidaywonk · 30/12/2007 11:25

sorry piney, didn't mean to imply that you are negative in your attitude towards your daughter's periods, just that you are negative about your own (you do call them a PITA, after all)

newnamefornewyearbookwormmum · 30/12/2007 11:27

I didn't have any kind of celebration with my family. I was actually quite embarrassed that my Mum saw fit to tell my Dad plus my elder sister sniggering at me since I'd been swimming that day. I also had no idea what to do with the stained knickers every month or so. I didn't like to throw them in the laundry as they were or hand them directly to my Mum so I tried washing them myself. Rather unsucessfully since I ended up binning bag-fulls .

I think my dd (7) is going to be rather more clued up than I was since she's already noted that I keep pads in drawer that I wear once a month plus everyone is more open nowadays. I don't even remember seeing sanitary protection in shops when I was a child (maybe I didn't notice) and they didn't seem to be advertised on TV.

foxinsocks · 30/12/2007 11:31

hey annoyingdevil? You can't draw the conclusion that just because you were positive about them, you didn't have problems with them.

GreenGlassGoblin · 30/12/2007 11:32

Agree with holidaywonk that this is a good argument to break the cycle of embarrasment/shame. My mum's mum was an awful mother, they have a terrible relationship in every way. My mum has had some things she found difficult (periods, openness generally) but we have a pretty good, if 'distant' relationship. I hope if I am ever lucky enough to have a daughter (have one DS at the moment) I will be able to build on the good stuff from my mum and add more openness!

purpleduck · 30/12/2007 11:41

my dad bought me a milkshake. Is that a celebration?

The only reason he knew is that my older sister needed cash off him to buy me some gear.

Twas a nice milkshake.

SpawnChorus · 30/12/2007 11:42

DarthVader - I think it's a great idea to celebrate your DD's first period. I hadn't really thought about it before (DD is not quite three yet!), but when the time comes I think a little piece of jewellry and perhaps a meal out (with the whole immediate family) would be good.

I'd much rather my DD was embarrassed by me being too open than by me being all hush-hush and discreet about it.

I totally agree with everything F&Z has said too.

SpawnChorus · 30/12/2007 11:44

sorry - jewellery

foxinsocks · 30/12/2007 12:57

yes, I reckon my approach is much like the dog's and dd is certainly more clued up than I ever was already.

I guess you have to call it depending on what your relationship is like when it happens.

(cannot get the tampon pyre vision out of my head now)

AbbeyA · 30/12/2007 14:12

I think the answer is to be open minded about it DV and take your lead from your DD when she starts (aged 8 is no guide as to how she will feel in even a couple of years time)and do what seems appropriate then.The same for SpawnChorus-I would have wanted the floor to open up if my mother had taken me out for a celebration meal with father and 2 younger brothers, I suppose a piece of jewellery would be bearable but I can't say I care for the idea.

Twiglett · 30/12/2007 14:14

I really like the idea of a piece of jewellery

TsarChasm · 30/12/2007 14:15

I think it's more of a quiet milestone coupled with support rather than hang out the bunting.

And the later the better I hope for my dd's.

AbbeyA · 30/12/2007 14:28

A quiet milestone coupled with support is a good summary. Just because you don't hang out the bunting doesn't mean you are a bad mother and being negative. My mother was a farmer's daughter so took these things very much in her stride and I have always been able to talk to her.I am just so thankful that she has given me space and not been embarrassing.

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