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Original poster

First period - something to celebrate?

233 replies

DarthVader · 29/12/2007 18:35

I am making plans with my 8 year old about how we will celebrate her first period! How did other people celebrate this milestone with their daughters?

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Bluestocking · 29/12/2007 19:40

I wasn't remotely embarrassed about starting my periods, but would have been embarrassed by my mother making a big fuss. Sorry if I wasn't clear. Re the Argentine thing, isn't this a party to celebrate a girl's fifteenth birthday, which in the past would often have been the year of her first period, rather than her first period per se?

Gumbo · 29/12/2007 19:42

Nooo! Don't do it!!!

My friend's mother did this to her - phoned everyone she'd ever met, got distant relatives to call and congratulate her etc etc.
She was mortified, and still traumatised to this day!

oxocube · 29/12/2007 19:44

Well I guess its just that in my book, some things are not to be made public, that's not to say that they are something to be ashamed or embarrassed about. I reckon my dd would feel that starting her periods was something of a milestone but not necessarily something I should email everyone on my contact list about

Its a bit like sex - nothing embarrassing or shameful about it, but I wouldn't want to announce my sex life to the world. But hey, you sound lovely and whatever works for you and your dd is great

Original poster
DarthVader · 29/12/2007 19:45

I would just like it to be a positive experience. It could be just me and dd celebrating together, whatever she would like.

Why do so many people think it must be private and negative, how can this be healthy?

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Original poster
DarthVader · 29/12/2007 19:47

oxocube - take your point about not emailing your contacts list re sexual encounters

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Bluestocking · 29/12/2007 19:48

I think it is private, but not negative - along with many other things to do with the body's functioning, like one's sex life, digestion, etc. It's great when these things work well, but they absolutely do not need shouting from the rooftops. If you and your daughter both feel like having a private celebration when the moment comes, then that would be very nice, but do bear in mind that an eight-year-old is a whole different animal from a newly hormonal twelve or thirteen-year-old.

Elizabetth · 29/12/2007 19:52

Does she want to celebrate it when it happens? That's the real question.

Maybe you could take her out for lunch in a smart restaurant - a very grown-up thing to do. The thought of being introduced to womanhood through spa treatments is a bit depressing IMO, but that's probably just me.

oxocube · 29/12/2007 19:53

Sounds to me like this isn't something you need to worry about just now. You seem like a lovely open mum and when the time comes, it will surely be special for you both. I just think its the forward planning at 8 that freaks us all a bit

Twiglett · 29/12/2007 19:55

The one thing I would urge every woman is to read 'Take charge of your fertility' by Toni Weschler and impart as much of its wisdom as you see fit with regards to the natural female cycle to your children

it is certainly what I plan to do .. as much of the information, particularly with regards to cervical fluid, I only discovered in my 30s

Original poster
DarthVader · 29/12/2007 19:57

Well today dd thinks she will be shouting about it from the rooftops! When she is 12 she probably won't have the same attitude - although I think this is a shame, I would obviously respect whatever her wishes might be as a 12 year old. I don't expect many 12 year olds would turn down new jewellery, new outfit, beauty treatment and an option to get their ears pierced plus other treats of their own choice...and perhaps this would help them to feel more positive about it all?

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Twiglett · 29/12/2007 19:57

I don't actually think 8 is that early based on the fact that our daughters are starting their periods much younger than our generations did and 8 or 9 is not unheard of and 13 I believe is now considered rather late (might be wrong)

Milliways · 29/12/2007 20:00

You could always buy her this book?

oxocube · 29/12/2007 20:00

Oh God, really Twig? I was 14 Dd is only 10 and I really hope she has another couple of years of being my 'little girl'

twinsetandpearls · 29/12/2007 20:02

I know girls start their periods much earlier now, don't know the average age though, 8 seems very young. Could not imagine my dd managing periods in about a year and a half to two years,

Original poster
DarthVader · 29/12/2007 20:03

I just told my dd that some parents don't tell their daughters about periods and the girls think they are dying...

dd "well their parents must be rubbish"

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WulfricTheRedNosedReindeer · 29/12/2007 20:06

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twinsetandpearls · 29/12/2007 20:07

I agree darthvader. I was shocked when I found out this statistic. Not just because some parents don;t tell their children but the fact that in today's society some childen just don't know.

On a similar note one of the girls in my class Year 7 was beng teased for being on her period and one of my lovely but not very bright boys said " I don't know why you are teasing her it happens to all of us, we will have our periods soon."

Original poster
DarthVader · 29/12/2007 20:09

pmsl

adorable

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HappyTwoFRAUsandAndEight · 29/12/2007 20:12

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arionater · 29/12/2007 20:44

Did they ever find out why it was so late Happy? Were you very slim/sporty? At 11 I was the youngest in my family (I have four sisters) by a good 2 or 3 years, but my father apparently had a very early puberty - shaving at 13 and this in the early 50s - so presumably there's a genetic element. It does vary a bit between populations too - girls from a black African background are quite a bit earlier on average I think, whereas Japanese/Chinese are later. Quite interesting really. I second the TCOYF book, even my (doctor!) housemate who's trying for a baby learnt loads she didn't know before. Is there a version aimed at teenagers?

nannyL · 29/12/2007 20:57

my mum was very open about all this stuff

even so i would have been mortified to have to celebrate it with anyone.... even just me and her would have made me die of embarrassment!...

but then im not that close to my mum anyway

meep · 29/12/2007 21:00

mu mum bought me a box of chocolates and some pads!!! I remember she got a bit teary and I was mortified!

annoyingdevil · 29/12/2007 21:26

Christ, I bet if it were men that had periods, they'd be a full on festival to celebrate their 'coming of age'

AbbeyA · 29/12/2007 21:30

I don't think that there is anything negative about it but it is private.It is far too intrusive of a mother you can't live your life through your daughter. Someone was telling me about one of the round robin letters at Christmas where the DD starting her periods had been mentioned, we rolled round the floor laughing at it but then had to remember that it was no laughing matter for the poor girl. I am pleased that my mother explained it all but didn't feel the need to throw parties, give presents etc. I am a very private person-I would have been mortified.

lyra41 · 29/12/2007 21:37

we planned a "period prize" so it was something good to look forward to, coz let's face it, a period ain't. Dd wanted to keep it private tho, and 3 years later (age 12) still doesn't like me to mention periods, esp hers in front of others. i remember i felt the same at her age.