Good old fashioned smacking

[heepie]

I don't believe it did me any harm and I do wonder why the previous generation, ie mine, was so much better behavied than the current, ie my kids. I find the softly softly, ignore bad reward good behaviour does not work with a strong willed child and find myself more and more thinking what was wrong with a good old smack? Peeing on the floor right in front of you with a big smile on the face surely warrants more than the removal of a star on the reward chart? And whacking little brother over the head with a heavy object? Not eating something very nice and edible that I have slaved over in the kitchen? Why must we never tell our children to eat what is in front of them when I wasn't allowed to leave the table until I was finished? I don't have an eating disorder. I think it's time I through all the modern how to bring up children books out of the window and remember how it was done when I was a child? Anyone else feel this way?

people dont seem quite so keen to boast about how they have emotionally / sexually abused their children for their own good though do they mamfm??

Thats......

Um, yes laneydaye, arguing with other adults using words is OK.

which - being smacked, or brief toy confiscation?

OK to those of you out there who do have a very strong willed child, and you'll know who you are, what other ways have you found to get your point across. Naughty step, losing toys etc, laughed at by DD.

All against smacking, maybe this is your chance to be constructive.

The measuring of the smack and with or without wedding ring? That seems so pre-meditated.

argueing YES verbally attacking and being aggresive and personal????NO

as i said, can't see myself hitting ds

I don't know. I read some things on here, and I think emotional abuse, but of course there are more shades of grey. In RL though, I hear some awful stuff.

That must have been horrible for you, micro.

all children are strong-willed

or they should be at 2

it was a genuine enquiry.
heepie is still ignoring my ?'s. v rude imo. sometimes you need to use violence to attract peoples' attention / shock them etc. (apparently).

is she supposed to answer your question Are you thick???? aswell.

i think that was their point - they were thinking about it and it wasn't a blow cast in anger. the one time my mum was really angry with my brother she stood him on the doormat in the garage for 10 minutes (age about2). she was really cross with herself for acting in anger and has felt guilty ever since (you can still wind her up about it)

is that what you do with YOUR kids controlfreak

So many messages, what were ?s?

I think perhaps some of us sweat the small stuff a bit more. I don't hit my very strong-willed child for deciding that today she doesn't like carrots. I take her plate away and carry on. She generally starts eating most things again after a while. And I do allow some likes and dislikes. I have them. I tend to avoid confrontation unless strictly necessary. ANd not eating is not what I count as strictly necessary.

Enid, not all children are strong willed. You obviously haven't met one.

DS is v strong willed. He gets taken out of the situation, sat for a time out somewhere very dull, sent to his room, talked to sternly by DH and I. If he repeats the behaviour so do we. We're consistent and so far its worked. DH and I were both hit (smacks and worse) and both feel that if we lose our control of ourselves in front of him then we lose control of him. Consequently we won't hit.

but is there a middle ground between really thinking through how much pain youre going to inflict and a gut reaction in anger? Both seems really harsh.

no lanedye. i don't.if you read my posts on this thread you will see that i don't believe in violence of any sort as a methd of discipline. at all.
i was being sarcastic (she explains patiently in slow and calm voice). do you understand now? if you don't know what sarcasm is please say and i will explain further.

ha ha

What really makes me angry is that many people find it acceptable to use harsh methods of discipline for behaviour that is not "bad" or "naughty" but just typical toddler or child behaviour.

Children are frequently fussy eaters, they push boundaries, they experiment with things. At younger ages they often don't understand why they are not allowed to do certain things. A great deal of it is a normal part of development.

My 2.3 yr old hit her elder sister the other day out of frustration. I took hold of her and carried her to the other side of the room and said "I want you to stand there and think about what you have just done". Very quickly she said "I hit ***". I asked her if that was a nice thing to do and she said no and went over (unprompted) to give her sister a hug and said sorry to her. She knew she had done wrong and was contrite - I hadn't had to raise my voice or hit her, or indeed use a "naughty step".

Btw, I am far from being a perfect mother if the above sounds a bit self-righteous!

don't see where the non smacking parents have said they are perfect/ better parents

err, that because we haven't lulu