Just got a letter home from the school nurse re: dd's weight

[fireflyfairy2]

She is 115cm & weighs 28kgs.

It says "XXXX weight has gone from 91st centile to above 98th centile. Please contact me to discuss referral to peadatric dietitian"

I know she is a big girl, but she is also tall for her age. She's well built but I didn't think she was overweight.

I am such a failure.

I am about 20lb overweight myself & dh had weight to lose.... I know dd eats very very healthily as I have already lost over 2 stone & she has been having what I have ben eating.

The sensible option is to change the whole families lifestyle to be more active & eat more healthily.. I know we can do that, but I just feel like such a failure at the minute.

Dh thinks it's ok as he had to attend a dietitian when he was young.. but I don't think it's ok. Dh was an obese child & I always blamed his parents when I saw photos of him from childhood... now look what I have done to my beautiful dd I've made her fat, just as I have always accused my MIL of doing to dh

Can't you have an info gathering type chat but leave your daughter out of it?

Out of a meeting I mean. She doesn't need to know anything does she?

hugs to you firefly, am going through the same thing with my dd aged 7, and i have to agree, its probably the little extra's that we don't notice. don't beat yourself up about it, she may get a growth spurt soon and go really skinny! as long as she is eating healthily and getting exercise, i don't think there's much else you can do, apart from changing stuff like butter and milk to low fat, sorry if this has already been suggested, haven't had time to read it all, but it sounds to me that your doing everything right

No, she doesn't.

She would hate it if she thought someone was talking about her weight... I think that's why I was a bit upset when I read the letter. but now I think a chat would do no harm.

j20baby, I use full fat milk usually, but I will change it to semi skimmed, I myself use skimmed but I think it's not enough for dd & ds.

I use the flora light & put it on dd's sandwiches too.

Now I sound like I am making this up... I know I cook healthy meals & that dd's lunches are healthy... but I suppose I am doing something wrong, I am going to look at this closer, but I don't want to be watching dd like a hawk, it's not fair on her.

FFF2 - DDs diet sounds fine and well balanced and she is active. I dont think she has a problem I really just think that she will shoot up a bit because she has gained weight.

FWIW my DS2 eats more than my DS1 and DS1 is the 'chunkier' of the two. Sometimes people are just different shapes and have different metabolisms.

You are doing great.

honestly firefly - don't go down the road of blaming yourself! i've done it for ages, seen the school nurse, tried to stop letting her have treats, and imho it puts so much pressure on you, you just can't win. she looks like a beautiful healthy little girl and it sounds like your doing all you can, try not to worry too much x

don't hate me
I do think she looks like she has a bit of weight to lose, and what I'm comparing to is not other kids of her age now, but photos of my class when i was her age, and we were skinny as rakes. I heard on a radio prog recently that adults are losing the ability to judge if a child is overweight cos it's all we see these days so we think it's normal, and tbh I was shocked looking at photos of me as a kid so i suspect it is true.
her meals sounded great though, much better than my effort with my 2 who fill up on loads of sugary stuff [guilty face] so I wonder if it is the 'active' part that is the problem. I'm overweight myself so can't talk but I know my 2 run round all entire day, cos they're not at school yet. once they are sat at desks all day, it must be a lot harder to get in the exercise they need. maybe you could do stuff as a family to keep fit, like long walks, swimming, play tennis,, or drop her off for gym class while you go to the gym at the same time (setting an example and all that). this is all very hypothetical for me - I should take my own advice!

Why would I hate you, I asked for honesty.

i think it must be true about the metabolism and body shapes of some children, some are skinny some are a bit chubby, sometimes you just can't win

I think what she ate sounded fine. One square of caramel a day is not going to make her overweight. I would swap to semi-skimmed milk for both children assuming DS is not underweight. I think swapping for both sends a better message than singling her out IYSWIM and in the NHS book it says that children with a reasonable diet can have semi from age 2. My two have certainly done that.

hi, you have talked about food intake but how much exercise does your dd do? maybe that's something you could look at increasing as your dd's diet sounds v healthy and not in need of any change.

Dinny, I have said further down the thread, but will repeat here

She plays camogie on a Monday & Thursday.
This involves running around a huge pitch with a stick & ball for an hour.

She also does PE at school twice a week [I don't know what this involves though]

We walk about half a mile home from school on dry days, not possible to walk every day as school is about 2 miles away & I am on a busy main road with no footpath. On the afternoons we walk, I park about half a mile away from school in a lay by so that she can have a walk.

She also has a trampoline here that we both go on & she cycles her bike about the yard.

A bit of a hijack here but would most dieticians recommend chldren drinking semi-skimmed milk. I can't bear the taste so it's blue top for all of us but I wondered if there was an official line.

I don't know NKF which is why I had stuck for skimmed [well, the purple one] myself & blue top for the kids. I will ask the dietician/nurse tomorrow.

sorry, FFF!

well, that sounds plenty. how were you and your dh as children weight-wise? might be she is just following her genetic imprint?

I really don't see what changes you could make and looking at your profile pics she certainly doesn't look in any way overweight.

I was thin as a rake. Then after I married dh I gained weight. Then lost it again. The had 2 children & have now lost 2 stone & have 20lb to go to goal

Dh was obese as a child & I always blamed MIL Which is why I feel so guilty now.. though MIL told me she always blamed his granny for over feeding him as she babysat him every day.

All of us as a family will be eating 3 meals a day & fruit in between & cutting out take aways from tomorrow.

We go to France in 2 weeks.

look, at the end of the day, it sounds like she eats a great diet, exercises and is a happy little girl and you are doing a great job. please try not to let this centile bollocks upset you.

enjoy France!

I also think she is absolutely beautiful but she does look a little bit chubby for a child her age. sorry. I struggle a bit to keep my ds's weight in check as he has various issues - low muscle tone, dyspraxia and Aspergers which means he finds exercising v difficult, so I do sympathise.
On the other hand, my stepdaughter went through some really chubby stages as a young child but is now an extremely willowy 15 year old (size 8ish), so I wouldn't panic. She may be due a bit of a growth spurt which will make a difference.

I think you are probably feeding her a combination of too much and high fat (they will get used to eating less within a very short time):

Breakfast: 1 bowl of cornflakes with semi skimmed milk
SOUNDS GOOD, BUT YOU SHOULD ALWAYS GIVE HER SEMI-SKIMMED OR EVEN SKIMMED.

She then hd 2 slices of wholemeal bread with flora & ham, an apple, an orange & a cereal bar for her lunch.
I WOULD GIVE HER 1/2 A SANDWICH, ONLY ONE PIECE OF FRUIT AND A FEW CARROTS OR TOMATOES INSTEAD OF THE CEREAL BAR (THAT'S WHAT I GIVE MY KIDS FOR LUNCH)

[school provides them with a digestive biscuit, a glass of milk & some fruit at 10am. THIS IS A BIG SNACK, THEY WON'T BE TOO HUNGRY AT LUNCH TIME

When she came home from school she had a square of a caramel bar that her dad was eating & a bunch of grapes.
SOUNDS OK, MINUS THE CARAMEL BAR....YOU NEED TO KEEP SWEETS AND BISCUITS OUT OF YOUR DIET AND SET A GOOD EXAMPLE FOR HER

Her dinner was 3 scoops of potatoes, mince,gravy carrots & onions. She had water to drink. SOUNDS GOOD, BUT HOW ABOUT 2 SCOOPS INSTEAD OF 3 AND SOME GREEN VEG WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA TOO.

Sofia, I will not feed her half a sandwich, sorry. It is her main meal at school.

my two year old would eat at least a whole sandwich for lunch, plus soup and two pieces iof fruit.

Green veg.. with stew?

We usually have different veg every day.

I really don't understand what is high fat in her diet sofia?

What age are your children?

Dinny, is it your dd that my dd writes to?

If so, there is another one sat here waiting to be posted.

I get mixed up with usernames & dd writes to 2 little girls at the moment