Just got a letter home from the school nurse re: dd's weight

[fireflyfairy2]

She is 115cm & weighs 28kgs.

It says "XXXX weight has gone from 91st centile to above 98th centile. Please contact me to discuss referral to peadatric dietitian"

I know she is a big girl, but she is also tall for her age. She's well built but I didn't think she was overweight.

I am such a failure.

I am about 20lb overweight myself & dh had weight to lose.... I know dd eats very very healthily as I have already lost over 2 stone & she has been having what I have ben eating.

The sensible option is to change the whole families lifestyle to be more active & eat more healthily.. I know we can do that, but I just feel like such a failure at the minute.

Dh thinks it's ok as he had to attend a dietitian when he was young.. but I don't think it's ok. Dh was an obese child & I always blamed his parents when I saw photos of him from childhood... now look what I have done to my beautiful dd I've made her fat, just as I have always accused my MIL of doing to dh

she doesn't look fat at all

and more to the point neither do you

fab cleavage

dd1 is 11

i think her feet look huge...
or is that usual for when they go up a size and get new shoes

referral to a paediatric dietitian might be a good idea. They will be much more expert in deciding whether she really is overweight which will solve the query once and for all.

Ladymuck, she was last measured & weighed when she was at playgroup.. and then my HV wrote on the notes that dd was in her uniform [it must weigh heavier?]

So I don't know..

I do think I will call the nurse & arrange the dietician, I would be letting dd down if I didn't do it... right?

Maybe it would go against me if they offered me a dietician & I didn't go for it?

It's so confusing.

So how long ago was that?

I'm only 4ft 10" & dd alomost reaches my shoulder.

Good grief olive she must be well more than 3ft. DD is only a 7. In fact DS who is 116cm is an 11.

fff she looks lovely. She looks much slimmer on the bottom photo than the top but it is hard to tell. I think that the idea that she has put on weight quickly rather than her absolute weight being the problem deserves some consideration.

dd1 is nearly 7 and she's 122cm, don't know what weight but she's slimmed down a lot in the last year (ie lost her babyish chubby knees) - she's always been pretty high on the centiles too

Sorry meant slimmer on top photo.

It was when ds was about 1, maybe a year or more ago.

It was just before last summer.

The top photo was probably taken before the bottom one, though I can't be sure.

The bottom one is her school uniform.

OO I can assure you, I have weight to lose.

Yes, we're going to do it as a family.

well I think you look fine

go and see the dietician but do not stress, she is there to help

but I would advise not going on about weight to your dd (I am sure you don't) as they can pick these things up so quickly

just stress the good food and exercise bit

She looks like she has a round face, like most young children, but her arms look fairly skinny to me... Children grow in spurts anyway and tend to grow out for a bit before they shoot up - at least my dsc do!

agree absolutely with what oo has just written. I talk to my children about what different foods do for them in a fairly simple way.

Well is she was 91st centile a year ago, then she has gained about 7kg in a year which is actually a far bit for a 5yo - you would usually only 4kg or less really. I don't think that labelling her as overweight will help anyone, but may be worth thinking about what has changed since she started school? Don't beat yourself up - it could be something as simple as having pudding every lunch time at school or being on fullfat milk (thinking of your ds).

I never do discuss weight with her. She knows that I go to sw & when I eat a biscuit she will ask if I am allowed it.

I will call nurse tomorrow.

I suppose it's better to know and check. I don't think it means you're a failure at all. Mothers feel guilty far too often.

For people describinng healthy foods - that's great but you can still get fat on them if you eat more of them than you should so don't just go by a list of foods.

Thanks Xenia, yes I am going to call the nurse to see the dietician.

Dh is sat here saying I am mad, she is not fat... I am nt labelling her & she is definitely not the biggest in her class, but she is my responsibility & her welfare should be my priority.

Oh fff! Poor you.

That was quite brave of the nurse and proactive too. Many would probably have 'let it go' and just filled out their forms, ticked their boxes and left it at that I'm sure. This has given you an opportunity to take action and you are showing such a positive mindset already despite the failure feelings.

How old is dd? Have you talked to her about it?

I hope that you can stop feeling a failure and continue with your plan to give the whole family diet and overhaul.

I'm okay at making the children's diet quite healthy but am rubbish with my own and no doubt they'll pick up on some of my habits. My youngest is podgy and my other two are rakes. They have different fathers so it sort of goes to show that genes have a part to play after diet.

You are not a failure and don't you dare let these people make you feel that way. Loosing weight - especially for a child - is very difficult. I don't care what anyone else says. If you wish to have a chat, PM.

She will be 6 in december and I haven't discussed it with her yet.

I don't know what to say, was going to wait until I called the nurse tomorrow.

mumofhelen, thanks.

I don't have the cat facility though, but thanks for the offer.

Have you been through this?

Maybe exercise is the way to go? Then it would be about adding a fun thing as opposed to taking something away?

You're going to tell me you all run half marathons as a hobby now aren't you?!

No, we don't.

I walk 3 miles every day, sometimes twice a day & I go to spin classes a couple of times a week, but dd just gets her exercise through trampolining, cycling & camogie playing.