Just got a letter home from the school nurse re: dd's weight

[fireflyfairy2]

She is 115cm & weighs 28kgs.

It says "XXXX weight has gone from 91st centile to above 98th centile. Please contact me to discuss referral to peadatric dietitian"

I know she is a big girl, but she is also tall for her age. She's well built but I didn't think she was overweight.

I am such a failure.

I am about 20lb overweight myself & dh had weight to lose.... I know dd eats very very healthily as I have already lost over 2 stone & she has been having what I have ben eating.

The sensible option is to change the whole families lifestyle to be more active & eat more healthily.. I know we can do that, but I just feel like such a failure at the minute.

Dh thinks it's ok as he had to attend a dietitian when he was young.. but I don't think it's ok. Dh was an obese child & I always blamed his parents when I saw photos of him from childhood... now look what I have done to my beautiful dd I've made her fat, just as I have always accused my MIL of doing to dh

cereal bars are not healthy and they are full of sugar though. I would send her in with the samelunch but not the cereal bar and an extra bit of fruit if she's still hungry.

no, not me or dd, FFF.

sounds a nice idea though - used to love my penpals!

whereabout in NI are you? I went to uni there (Queen's)

I disagree. even though weight loss may (may) be the aim, cutting out treats altogether is unrealistic and unhelpful in the long run. It needs to be a set of eating habits she will stick to.

Perhaps the potato could be less and a leaner meat or vegetarian option would help cut back calories and fat but this is getting quite extreme for an active child don't you think?

There is nothing too high in fat or too sugary about this child's diet people!! Really - I know! I have studied nutrition!

The cereal bar is a goodies one. Either that or the purple Organix one.

I am about 40 miles from Belfast. My sister lives there though, so I visit quite often

My niece is about to graduate from Queens in a few weeks time

I'm at UUC [not far from Portstewart if you ever went that far when in Belfast ]

NLNN, I do think it's getting a bit drastic for a 5yr old. We are talking a few lb here, not a whole lot of stones.

I keep feeling really sad that I have done this to her.. but I damn well will make sure I help her to be more healthy.

Thankyou schneebly

The thought of sending my darlin to school with half a sandwich & a few carrots makes me want to cry.

Defo wait for more info, it really sounds like diet isn't the isue and schneebly has just said as much so stress not for now!

FFF2 - honestly you are doing a good job! Please don't be so hard on yourself. My theory is that she will shoot up.

Good luck with the dietician - you could always go for runs through the surf along the strand. Her lunch sounds approx. what my 3 kids had - does she eat it?

Sometimes she eats it Stegler.

Other times she might carry something home with her. She sometimes has a yoghurt instead of a cereal bar, but quite often she would carry the yoghurt home with her so I stopped giving her it.

We love the strand

Are you local?

Have spelt your name wrong

fff2, my children are 4.5 and 6.5. I guess it's all a matter of attitude towards food. I don't see that half a sandwich and a few carrots and fruit is depriving my children. They love their lunches and don't come home asking for more. And I'm not quite sure what the cereal bar is adding to the lunch nutritionally that they aren't getting from the other bits and just because it has been sweetened with fruit juice doesn't mean that it isn't full of empty calories (where do you think sugar comes from). And don't quite see why suggesting that you have green veg with your stew is so offensive. I usually serve green veg with my stew. The high fat was in reference to the whole milk as I understand that it's recommended to switch to semi or skimmed milk for children over the age of 2.
If you are looking to change your habits so that your dd and the rest of your family eats a healthier diet that keeps weight down, then there are a variety of ways to do that. I have suggested what we do in our family which works for us (no one in my extended family is the least bit overweight). That doesn't mean that it's the only way to do it, but that it is simply one way. You are welcome to take all, some or none of my suggestions. But it's not very nice to suggest that they are offensive or out of order. I'm afraid that I don't agree with you that you are feeding your daughter a healthy diet if the end result is that she is overweight. Overfeeding even healthy food can be unhealthy.

purely thinking about my 2, I still think the exercise bit is the key, it's hard to tell from your description, i can see she does sports and goes on walks but perhaps doing a bit more and at a faster pace would be helpful. can she do some saturday sports like football? what else does she do in her free time - is there stuff like telly, reading, puzzles that could be swopped for running round type things instead?

We often have a bit of sandwich left over, especially dd2. And get other bits home quite often. My older 2 ate theirs - but no milk mid morning. Do you have carrots etc. in the stew? Spell me whatever way you like it is a stupid name! No I am in Cork, but from the north. We spent a summer housesitting in Portstewart 11 years ago, we'd have stayed there if we could.

I know she is wee, but camogie is as high speed as it gets!)

Sofia I wasn't offended. Not in the least. Was simply saying she had veg in it, she had carrots & onions, & peas on the side.

She plays tinwhistle on Saturdays so no clubs or anything she can go to really morrocco. She does play about here on a Saturday though

Sorry everyone, I think I am obsessing slightly here, so am just going to leave it now.

Thanks everyone for your helpful advice & encouraging comments

Stelger, I spent a week in Cork once, about 9 years ago just dh & I. Was lovely

We usually go to Westport in the Summer, I love the South

And yes, camogie is great, dd loves it.. me not so much have you seen the price of the helmets lately???

Get advice, and check her height weight ratio - night night!

DD is 104 cm and under 15kg, DD is petite... but I honestly think 13kg more and only 11cm taller sounds too heavy.

Don't beat yourself up about it, though, that won't help. Be constructive instead, I think you've had lots of good suggestions here in addition to good stuff you're already doing.

FFF please don't feel like a failure. I guess if your DH was overweight as a child your DD is more likely to be prone to putting on an extra few pounds due to her genetics. I think she looks gorgeous but agree with the others who say that she does look a tiny bit rounder around the middle than she could be. And I am speaking as someone who has struggled with my weight my entire life, my biggest worry is that my children might have the same issues (thank goodness they seem to have inherited DH's skinny genes and I look at DD and worry that she seems so tiny, the irony!)

I think maybe the way to look at it now is to try to keep her weight stable so that when she grows she will automatically become a little thinner. I'm sure you can do this in a way that she isn't aware of eg change the milk from full fat, replace the red meat with poultry & fish, ditch the starchy vegetables like peas, sweetcorn & parsnips and go for more of the other vegetables and maybe do things like cut out the third scoop of potato as Sofia suggested. I think you can make small changes that she won't even notice but that mean you are able to reduce her calorie content by a small percentage which will over time make all the difference. I might be tempted to change cereals to something like porridge and fruit which should help her feel a bit fuller for longer.
Personally I would ditch cereal bars for the moment in favour of things like yoghurt (make your own so you control what's in it) and if I was to give her a sweet treat I'd look at things like muffins made with fruit and yoghurt of carrot cake etc, where some of the calories are replaced with fruit or veg so a little lower and you can control the sugar to a greater extent. Sorry if I've missed what she drinks, but is it worth looking at that ?

If it's any help her picture has just reminded me of my friend's DD who is a few years older. She has taken up trampolining and has just been picked for the regional squad. She was quite a similar build to your DD but recently had a growth spurt and looks really fantastically fit and toned from all the extra exercise she has been doing (she was always very active but this seems to have tipped the balance) and she is clearly going to have a stunning figure as a teenager that most girls her age would give their right arm for !

her activity levels and food (if that is typical) sound fine - much better than a lot of kids I would think.

My only comment is 3 scoops of potatoes sounds quite a lot - try cutting that down a bit.

And something else I heard the other day - fruit juice is just empty calories - stick to milk and water as drinks - and eat fruit instead - that way they get fibre as well.

dd is nearly 10 and 138 cm but she is 28.5 kilos, which may put it in perspective for you
she is quite wide shoulder and chest so not a small build.

firefly, Is that you in that picture?! If so you look amazing. I thought the pictures were of your little daughter and then your other elder daughter or something.
Youre little daughter is a cutie. Have you thought about ordering a book of food for children? Im sure you could find something on Amazon. Maybe you could cook together with her and make cooking fun, so she develops an interest in healthy food. Even if you did it just once or twice a week at the weekend, I think it would be worth it.
Vegetables don`t have to be boring- with all the colours and variety, you could make lots of interesting dishes for her.