What age would you allow your dcs to play outside the house unsupervised?

[LizaRose]

We live in a quiet estate with many children. My DS1 is 5, in reception, and 2 of his classmates regularly play outside on the street, on bikes, footballing etc. DS1 is upset because they knock for him and I won't let him out unless I am free to go with him (not often, I have 2 smaller dcs). I don't think he is mature enough to be responsible for his own safety in terms of avoiding cars, staying where he is told and not going onto the main road, talking to strangers etc. The other mums seem to think I am over-protective. I have tried to compromise by inviting the others to play in our garden, but now I have a house full of other people's kids making a mess and raiding our fruit bowl, and no reciprocal invitiations because they just let theirs roam the streets! What do you think?

this is what happened today when I let my kids out the front. My girls did very well at staying in my sight and hearing though.

Stranger abduction isn't high on my list of fears compared to kids' love of doing dangerous things. I remember being in a little 'gang' in our flats (middle-classsuburb flats, btw) and we did all sorts of things that now make me shudder - e.g. 6 year olds crawling into air vents in the underground carpark... That, and bad drivers (we have a lot of very elderly drivers around our way, and they're just as lethal as teenagers).

I'm with you Micra. Mine are 4 and 2 but I would not feel comfortable with letting my 4 yr old out. He is sensible, doesn't run away and has road sense but if whilst playing, a ball or something he wanted was kicked across the road I could not say he would not run to get it. I agree abduction is thankfully very rare and there are other dangers that present more risk but regardless it does occur and is something I still consider.

Obviously it depends on the child but I would not consider any of the children i know well in the age range 2-5 responsible enough to play anywhere where I couldn't just pop my head round to see them.

I grew up with a totally over protective mother when I was younger so know how damaging that can be!. There is something wrong if you are still supervising an older child and ideally independence is given gradually as the child grows but to the OP, I do think 5 is young to play totally unsupervised.

I know when I think back to my childhood (and like most of my generation, especially those living near fields and countryside, I ahd lots of freedom) I knew exactly what to do if I were approached by a stranger (my sisters were, our very meek dog but the man LOL), but I spent a lot of time risking my life crossing canal locks, playing in the docks, etc etc.

I know what scares me most for my boys, and its their sense of invulnerability, not stranger danger.

i won't be letting my kids out till they walk to secondary school.

we live on the corner of a busy road and no pavement - just too dangerous.

i understand not letting them play out if you live on a busy road but i think they should have freedom to go some places unsupervised else when they get to secondary school/middle school and have to walk by themselves they won't be prepared.

DS#1 was 7 or 8 I think. DD was probably a little younger. I suppose when DS#2 starts school I met let him. Depends on where you are and what your children are like.

And I agree about getting ready for secondary school NA. I am relying on my DS#1 walking to school when he starts in 2008 - he has friends that go there from our area - can't ferry kids in two opposite directions,

Ds1 is allowed out (he is 8,) but he knows where he's allowed and knows to come home when I have said, he's a sensible sort of child, but Ds2 (5) isn't yet (sensible or allowed out).

how about letting them go to post letters at the postbox ruby? is there a nearby park you could allow them to go to for say 15 mins then build it up to a longer length of time for them to stay when you feel more comfortable.

I'm quite surprised that the NSPCC say that leaving a 16yr old alone for a week is unacceptable!?! I think if you're old enough to get married and/or have a baby then you're old enough to stay on your own for a week.

As for the OP, I'd say you really have to judge the maturity of your child and the suitability of your surroundings.

that makes no sense - you can live on your own at 16!!

Mine are 9,7 and 4 and non of them are allowed to play out the front unless I am out cutting the grass or something.

It's not that I don't trust them, it's more that I don't like some of the kids that live in the cul de sac and don't want my dc playing with them, which is a shame as I am sure Dd1 and probably dd2 could be trusted by now.

Next door have 3 kids aged 6, 3 and 1 and all 3 play out the front even the 1 yr old, A neighbour recently had to return her home as she was all the way down the road with no sibling or parent to be seen.

at a 1 year old being out

We live on the corner of a cul-de-sac and busy (but not main) road.

The traffic is so heavy and fast despite chicanes that there is no way DS will be going out to play

People often swing into the entrance of the cul-de-sac to answer their phones etc

A few weeks ago an adult was knocked over on the pavement outside our house by someone who thought she would just drive up on the pavement to get past another car, following an altercation at the chicane

I live in raod rage central I think