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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

What age would you allow your dcs to play outside the house unsupervised?

116 replies

LizaRose · 17/05/2007 08:06

We live in a quiet estate with many children. My DS1 is 5, in reception, and 2 of his classmates regularly play outside on the street, on bikes, footballing etc. DS1 is upset because they knock for him and I won't let him out unless I am free to go with him (not often, I have 2 smaller dcs). I don't think he is mature enough to be responsible for his own safety in terms of avoiding cars, staying where he is told and not going onto the main road, talking to strangers etc. The other mums seem to think I am over-protective. I have tried to compromise by inviting the others to play in our garden, but now I have a house full of other people's kids making a mess and raiding our fruit bowl, and no reciprocal invitiations because they just let theirs roam the streets! What do you think?

OP posts:

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BandofMothers · 17/05/2007 08:11

I think you're being sensible not overprotective. You know what he is capable of. If you don't think he'll be safe then don't let him. Follow your instincts. Maybe the other mum's just don't care as much as long as their children are not under their feet
Esp in this day and age, you can never be too careful. With 2 dd's with recent events I'm not sure I'll ever let them out

southeastastra · 17/05/2007 08:13

it depends. i know my 5 year old isn't road savvy enough yet to go out. but i guess some are

Jelley · 17/05/2007 08:19

I let mine (6&7) out but usually go out, too. They have fairly strict rules and are naturally quite law obiding so this year I have let them out without me a bit. One of the rules is that I must be able to see them if I look out of the door. If I have to go looking, they come in.

3 or 4 of my neighbours have similar aged children/rules and we do watch each others children, too.

Jelley · 17/05/2007 08:19

3 or 4 of my neighbours have similar aged children/rules and we do watch each others children, too.

nailpolish · 17/05/2007 08:23

i let my 4.5 yr old dd go out to play with hr friends n the street
they either play here, go to friends houses (in same culdesac) or go to the playpark (in culdesac, i can see it from my house)
i know the other mothers well
usually what they do is go up and down cldesac on bikes/scooters or play in the playpark
i tell her to come in if big boys and girls appear at the playpark

BandofMothers · 17/05/2007 08:25

Wow, Polish, can'timagine my dd1 being that sensible in a year. Still you never know.
People drive let fecking maniacs down my culdesac tho and it's lined with cars. I wouldn't trust her not to go int he road between the cars.

nailpolish · 17/05/2007 08:30

i never thought i would do it either and i managed to control it step by step and she has surprised me

the most surprising thing is i say to her (when she says she is going to play at friends house) "tell katies mummy you need to be home by quarter past six"

and she does it!

i find that very grown up

nailpolish · 17/05/2007 08:30

she cant tell the time thats why i tell her to tell frineds mummy

geekgrrl · 17/05/2007 09:25

I've just started to let dd1 out unsupervised - she goes to the playground & playing fields which are just down from our house, along a single-track lane (so traffic isn't a big worry).
We've had a few hiccups - her going to other children's houses without my permission , and also not being home on time. I have really cracked down on those though so all seems well now.
She certainly enjoys the freedom and it has been very good for her physically - she has got a lot fitter and less podgy, and has made loads of new friends.

geekgrrl · 17/05/2007 09:25

she's 7.5 btw

PestoMonster · 17/05/2007 09:29

I didn't let mine out unsupervised until earlier this year and they were 7 & 9. Other people around here were letting theirs out a bit younger, but I just didn't feel happy with it until then. They have rules about how far they may go and they aren't allowed in other people's houses. So I would say go with your gut feeling on this. Don't feel under pressure to do anything you're not happy about, regardless of what everybody else seems to be doing.

MrsBoo · 17/05/2007 09:31

MY DS is 7, I wouldn't let him play outside without supervision. We live in a small quiet cul-de-sac, near a fast road. I would worry about fast cars, and bad men coming to take him away!

JodieG1 · 17/05/2007 09:36

None of mine do yet. Dd is 5.3, ds1 is 3.7 and ds2 only 18 weeks.

LunarSea · 17/05/2007 10:45

Crikey some of you are protective - 9

ds is 5.5 and plays outside, and has done for the last year or so. All the other children here - roughly 5-11 - do the same. It is a very quiet cul de sac though. This year ds has also been allowed to play out on the next street to us (also very quiet, virtually traffic free), which has a green in the middle of it IF there are other children also playing. The boys all just play football or cicket. He knows that there are strict limits to how far he's allowed to go (our cul-de-sac, and the next one if he's asked us), and if he's going to anyone's house he has to come back and tell us first, and he has to stick to the time we give him to come back.

PestoMonster · 17/05/2007 13:11

Well, partly the reason for waiting till dd1 was 9 was because

She's very scatty
Her sister would have wanted to go out too and I didn't feel it would have been fair for 1 to be allowed out and not the other.

Now, however, dd1 is sensible enough to play out and both dds look out for each other (will report back if there's been an injury - like falling off their scooters)

Hulababy · 17/05/2007 13:19

DD is 5yo and she is only allowed to play on the front - normally to go on her bike or scooter on the cul de sac - if either me or DH, or the neighbours (who also have a 5yo) are supervising. I can't see that changing any time soon.

I would rather supervise or encourage them to play in either our or friend's garden/house, than have them out on the street on their own.

I am happy to be a bit over protective. But then there are very very few little ones out on their own round here (if any).

Fimbo · 17/05/2007 13:24

My dd is nearly 9 and I don't let her out by herself. I have only just let her go to the post box which is up the road and out of sight this year.

It's all old fogies beside us anyway and we are on a busy through road.

Mainly she goes to friends houses and plays in their gardens or vice versa.

I daresay if we lived on a modern estate or in a cul-de-sac things would be different.

cat64 · 17/05/2007 13:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Mumpbump · 17/05/2007 13:34

About 9, but our road is very, very quiet, next to no traffic and mostly only residents walking along it (all of whom we know by sight). But I would want to know if he went into someone's house. 5 is way too young, imo.

Mumpbump · 17/05/2007 13:35

Ability to supervise from a distance would probably be relevant as is the fact we have a back-garden where our dc can play anyway...

FrannyandZooey · 17/05/2007 13:37

Ds started when he was 3 with minimal supervision and now he is 4 I don't supervise him except for just sticking my head out once in a while. There are usually older children around, our road is quiet, and he is only allowed to play within a very small radius.

You know your own child, it isn't something another person can decide for you.

ArcticRoll · 17/05/2007 13:43

My dc (7 and 5) play out on our street.
There are lots of other children out too.
I check on them every ten minutes and leave the door open.
They are only allowed to go about firty metres from our house.
I think it's lovely to see children playing out with their neighbours,all different ages and less formal than the dreaded 'playdate'.

sauce · 17/05/2007 13:45

Mine, 6.11 & 3.6, play outside unsupervised but within earshot. the big one has to watch out for the little one & they are NOT allowed on the road, even though it's not busy.

Elasticwoman · 17/05/2007 14:07

Am really surprised at the attitude of your neighbours to letting their kids play in the street. When I lived in a new estate, I was considered v daring because I let dds aged 5 and 7 walk to school on their own, about 200 yds. But I would not consider letting them play out in the street or in public parks without an adult (usually me). When dd1 was about 9 I let her cycle to the nearest shop on her own - just under a mile, mostly on cycle paths away from traffic. But the point is she had a specific destination and purpose for her journey. She wasn't allowed to go cycling aimlessly without my knowing where she was going.

kazzia · 17/05/2007 20:16

Is it just me reading this very fast or does everyone on this thread live on a cul de sac!

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