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Original poster

What age would you allow your dcs to play outside the house unsupervised?

116 replies

LizaRose · 17/05/2007 08:06

We live in a quiet estate with many children. My DS1 is 5, in reception, and 2 of his classmates regularly play outside on the street, on bikes, footballing etc. DS1 is upset because they knock for him and I won't let him out unless I am free to go with him (not often, I have 2 smaller dcs). I don't think he is mature enough to be responsible for his own safety in terms of avoiding cars, staying where he is told and not going onto the main road, talking to strangers etc. The other mums seem to think I am over-protective. I have tried to compromise by inviting the others to play in our garden, but now I have a house full of other people's kids making a mess and raiding our fruit bowl, and no reciprocal invitiations because they just let theirs roam the streets! What do you think?

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amateurmum · 17/05/2007 20:20

I live on fairly busy road away from shops/park. I let my 8 year old play in fields behind our house with his friends when they come to play. Also let him walk to shop/park from friend's house if route is fairly traffic free.

Do not let my 6 year old out unsupervised.

Gingermonkey · 17/05/2007 20:46

we live on a quiet cul de sac of 20 houses and DD has been allowed out to play down our end of the cul de sac (it's quite clearly defined - the road changes from block paving to tarmac) since she was 3 unsupervised and now plays at either end and at other children's houses and comes home when she is ready, or a set time (depending on the day of the week). In the winter she doesn't play out as much, becasue I don't like her being out in the dark in case of cars. I don't worry about the 'bad man' because it's so very unlikely to happen but she is aware that she is not to go out of the street with anyone unless I give her my permission.I am more concerned with cars but she is road aware and has been for many years now. At the end of the day a child is far more likely to be hurt by someone you know - which DD is aware of. She also started school full time at 3 and is quite grown up. I always keep an eye out for her and can usually hear her shouting from someone else's garden. I am very aware of trying to give her some responsibility and independence - it's awful that in this day and age we are so protective of our children when statistically between the ages of 5 and 16 they are probably at their very safest. (in terms of assault or murder). I can remember being her age and being out in the middle of nowhere all day long on my bike, I wouldn't dream of letting DD out of the cul de sac, not for a good few years.

LilyLoo · 17/05/2007 20:54

we live on cul de sac and i allow my ds 5 to play out as far as a certain house so i can see him at the window. He plays with kids from 5 - 10 so the older ones are quite good with the younger ones and virtually everyone on street looks out for them when they are out .

LucyJones · 17/05/2007 20:57

lol Kazzia - I thought that too! We live on a massive estate that has loads of problems so not sure what I'll do in the future. Ds is currently 3.2 ans no way would I let him out at the age of four

lucyellensmum · 17/05/2007 21:00

35!

MorocconOil · 17/05/2007 21:13

My 7 year old plays out in our quiet cul-de-sac. Up until recent events we let our 5 year old playout with him, but we have had a reality check and feel he's not really ready yet.

NappiesGalore · 18/05/2007 09:17

ouch. (have only read op btw)
honestly dont know what id do. 5 does seem really little.
i am lucky enoufgh that we are in middle of nowhere with loads of garden and fields to roam. the dc have been out alone in that for up to , i dunno, i guess 1/2 hour at a time since under about year! but no traffic or other people to contend with, so...

amidaiwish · 18/05/2007 09:36

18

iota · 18/05/2007 09:37

mine don't - they are 8 and 5 and I live in a cul-de-sac

crayon · 18/05/2007 14:14

LunarSea - is that a crime being over-protective then? Sounded a tad judgemental there

I know there is no way on God's earth I would let me DS1 (nearly 6) play out on his own. I know from observation he wouldn't necessarily look before crossing a road if his ball etc had gone into it. When I feel confident he is 100% reliable (and only then) can he go.

colditz · 18/05/2007 19:53

god, not bloody yet, he'd take it into his head that as we had run out of milk, he would be helpful and go fetch some

DeviousDaffodil · 18/05/2007 20:01

DS'a are 4 and 6. This is the first year that DS2 has been allowed to play out the front unsupervised,
WE live in a quiet cul de sac (!) and there areat least 5 other boys a similar age.
DS2 is surprisingly sensible and has really good road sense.
I keep an eye from the front room but I am happy that they are both safe.
They have a fantastic time. They only came in 20 mins ago and were having a great time swinging each other round on a skipping rope.
There is a 5 nearly 6 yr old in the street who is not allowed out, see him watching from the window. Shame.

morocco · 18/05/2007 20:39

does noone sit out and watch their kids then? i used to live on a quiet street and one adult at least would be out watching. now i live in a cul de sac and we're the only ones whose kids play out and i just sit out front with a cup of tea

morocco · 18/05/2007 20:41

sorry - obv thread is about unsupervised - duhh! - but i don't tink it ever happened where i used to live, we'd always be out having a natter over the fences

DeviousDaffodil · 18/05/2007 20:47

LAst Summer I had a garden bench out the front and used to drink tea read paper ets.
DS is 4 now and doesn't need to be so closely supervised. ( IMO)

macmama73 · 18/05/2007 20:51

DD is 5 and DS nearly 3. We live in a quiet cul de sac (sorry, but we do!) and the kids are outside all afternoon.
Often I go out and sit with friends and have a blether, most of the families here have small children.
Sometimes I let them go alone, while I cook or clean up the kitchen (which looks out on the courtyard.

frenchleave · 18/05/2007 21:00

Mine do now, at 9 and 7, but only together or with other children from the road, not alone.

UCM · 18/05/2007 21:02

If I lived in some of the streets you lot describe, DS would be so much happier as he stands at the sitting room window looking longingly at the other kids playing on our drive . But it's a pretty fast road at times so at 3, he's just too little.

MadamePlatypus · 18/05/2007 21:45

I think you have to take into account two things - young children (under the age of about 7) are not able to be fully traffic aware (judge car speeds etc.) and they are not big enough for many drivers to see, e.g. if they are standing between parked cars or if a driver is reversing.

LynetteScavo · 18/05/2007 22:02

You can only do what you are comfortable with (yes I do know how annoying it is to have your house full of other peoples children emptying the fruit bowl!)
I used to live on an 'executive' estate and I notice lots of poeple put benches outside their homes to sit on when their dc's were playing out. I let DS1 play on our drive of 5 houses, he was 6. We then moved to a cul- de sac, where almost every house had young children. During the summer there would be about 1o children playing together, and always a few mums or dads. It was brilliant, as I could go into the house to make a cup of tea, knowing my 3 year old was fine. We now live on a busy road, and although we have a large front garden I won't let DS2 (4)and DD, 21 months, out of my sight while we're getting into the car in the morning.

Anyway, ramble over. Please don't just go along with what everybody else is doing. Only do what you are comfortable with.
Oh, and only let the neighbours children in to your garden!

nooka · 18/05/2007 22:23

My two are 6 and 8, and play in the garden (at the back). I would no way let them play in the front, partly because there is nowhere to play and no-one to play with, but also because I still think they are pretty silly (esp ds, and he is the older one), and very squishable by cars. Staying at my parents house in the country they go out and play before I've even got up! I was given a lot of freedom as a child, and I think independance is important, but in a city the risk of them getting into trouble by doing something silly or annoying someone is just too high.

TwoIfBySea · 19/05/2007 00:02

My dts are 5 so still a bit young anyway. We do have a large enclosed back garden so they play there while I am in the house, with the back door open.

Although we live in a cul-de-sac it leads onto a main road with far too many tipper trucks racing along. Most of the neighbours allow their children to roam free, from ages 3 and up, but I worry that dts1 in particular is a bit of a dreamer and the thought of the tippers is enough to keep them in the safety of their garden.

nappyaddict · 19/05/2007 00:05

3 cos we live in a cul de sac.

PinkTulips · 19/05/2007 00:09

the boy in the flat next door has been playing outside by himself since he was less than 2! is quite sad and scary as we live next to a busy road and the gates are broken so it would only take a few seconds for something terrible to happen.

feel so sad for the little mite, i was hanging my washing on the balcony one day and he wandered up our stairs and tried to get in, he can't even tell which stairs is his how on earth is he old enough to be wandering outside on his own!

nally · 19/05/2007 00:11

we live at the bottom of a very quiet cul-de-sac, with a huge green area out front. our dc are allowed to play right outside our lounge window at the front of the house, with me watching through the window. they see the other kids out there a lot, without grown-ups (i don't know where their grown-ups are, unless all looking through their windows too??) and want to be like them, but they know they mustn't run off and i can see them at all times. they are given an area to stay in, marked out by myself. if they start to stray they come indoors. no second chances.