Can anyone stop Katierocket from being driven insane by very difficult newborn......please!

[katierocket]

OK so DS1 was a really unsettled baby, had horrendous colic, terrible sleeper blah blah. We tried everything to help but it only really improved as he got older (he's 5 now). Anyway, DS2 (9 weeks) is just as bad (if not worse) and it really is driving me to utter despair (and I don't say that lightly).
He's very unsettled, and is really susceptible to being really easily over stimulated and having screaming fits. I could cope with that but the worse thing is his sleep - he is an absolute nightmare to get to sleep, you have to rock him and rock him, or walk round him in in a sling for ages or put him in the pram and walk for ages (although lately even this isn't working). But the worse thing is that once you've got him asleep he will wake up after a really short time (anywhere between 10 and 30 mins) and so then it all starts again.

Currently he is getting up at 5am in the morning (we're used to this - DS1 did it for 4 and half years) so by 6am he is knackered and screaming house down. I just can't figure out what to do to improve the situation. THings are getting worse not better.

He was diagnosed as having mild reflux and is on medicine for that, he's also been to a cranial osteopath.

if anyone has any suggestions I'd really really appreciate it.

ds2side slept - ds3 was going exactly the same way- would only sleep on his tummy lying on me - would scream if put down on his back- tried propping up the moses basket etc, but went happily (on his back) into the amby as soon as I got it and started sleeping through. I know I sound like a woman obsessed but I do think they are brilliant for babies who won't lie on their backs because of reflux/colic.

oooo maybe will try the tummy thing - no doubt will stay awake with matchsticks in my eyes watching him though!

blushoes - oh dear! Teeth, i'd forgotten about the horror that was DS1 teething, and them some mums say, "oh I never noticed X's teeth coming through"!

Can'tslim - I do think it's unusual to have two - no real evidence of this but just think it is. I'm sure you will have the most chilled out baby alive. And DP said the same - about not wanting anymore after DS1 was so bad.

really interesting but in Sears - Fussy Baby book (which has been a godsend) he says that often women who have had difficult first babies often find it hard to conceive their next child almost as though their bodies were not letting them go through it again until they were absolutely ready. We had diagnosis of undiagnosed secondary infertlity and strangely I'd sometimes had a nagging wonder about that but never actually heard it vocalised.

Inthehouse - is really is the most annoying thing when people suggest they can pick up on your mood - of course you know that's true to a degree but only a small degree and also I'm certain that most mums don't spend the entire time in a fret.

HA HA, MIL put DS2 down in his rocker and he woke up!! Well she couldn't believe it "but he was well away" er..yeah, exactly. She has now taken him out in pram.

KatieR, not read all the thread so sorry if this has been said my neighbours DD was exactly the same as this to a while to diagnose the reflux but still no peace from the crying -- however when her mum went totally dairy free, she changed almost overnight and became a lot calmer.. it did take 2 full weeks though for her mum to become dairy free and she found it hard going but the results were worth it.. once she was older, she was tested and is hugely dairy intolerant and now on her diet is fine, thriving and best of all, sleeping..

sorry to hear it is such hard work after wanting the baby for so long.. but I am sure it will work out!!

MancMum

hello mancmum - thanks. Yes am currently on day 4 of dairy free, have done 4 days before but was told that needed to do it for 2 weeks so fingers crossed. I do suspect a lot of it is temperament related but will try anything.

Traycee - am looking on ebay for an amby!

what I'd like to know is what's in it for ME. Is there a special place in heaven reserved for me for all those years of nursing, carrying, pushing buggies, broken sleep, clock watching, living on eggshells, no life in general??

DD1 was like this, DD2 wasn't quite so bad... they were fairly similar, think it's in their make up, not much you can do. A friend of mine has twins, they are total extremes - proof to me that it ain't what you do!

DD1 loved her swing. i used to put her in it in the dark until she gave in and fell asleep. funny (well it wasn't actually) watching her do everything she could to stay awake. DD2 hated the swing... so might be worth a try.

i saw a homeopath which did help, she gave her camomile.

have you tried drinking camomile/fennel tea?

re: your mil - i think that it's quite common for a new person to seem to have a magic touch - when all it is is a change of scene for the baby. Nothing personal!

blueshoes

i'm sure 99.9% of the way they act is what they are like not so much what you do - witin reason obviously.

well MIL has gone convinced that she has the magic touch.

Massive sympathies, sweetie.

As Cod says, farkin' babies. They do improve.
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Huge sympathies - DS had colic and still has massive sleeping issues (is now 5.5 months). It is hard. The worst thing for me is listening to all the mums I know in RL who have amazing sleeping babies and are politely suprised that DS is still waking every 2 hrs (at least) and will only sleep with me or in his pushchair during the day ... MN is great for finding people going through the same as you. NOTHING to do with your parenting skills, just the way some babies are

thanks MI

Swizzler - "politely suprised", I love that, it very aptly sums it up - you know they are thinking "well she must be doing something wrong, my little bundle is a dream sleeper"

Mumsnet is bloody brilliant because this morning I literally felt like I wanted to run far far away, not saying I don't feel like that now but a little less so

Glad you're feeling a little better

I should also remind you that about 90 per cent of the people who are telling you their precious baby 'sleeps through' don't actually mean it in the sense of 'goes to sleep at 7pm and doesn't stir till next morning at 6.30 at least'. Oooohno.

agree

tossers

As I found out when DD1 did start sleeping through properly and all the people who'd made me feel embarrassed and ashamed of her for not doing so looked at me with envy and said Oh Does She Really, as it turned out their definition was, shall I say, distinctly warped.

KR, my ds has reflux and it was awful when he was newborn.
We found that tilting his carrycot worked for the first few weeks and then when he went into a cot we put towels and sheets under his mattress to tilt it.
If you laid him flat, he would wriggle like mad and get really upset but the second he was lifted slightly, it made a massive difference.

You can buy wedges that go under the mattress and one that goes on top of the mattress and it has a little waist belt on it. A bit like on a rocker. You can get the under mattress ones off ebay and I think Blooming Marvellous has them but the other ones I've only seen in the US.

But it does get better and you will an improvement soon.

these work well to tilt the cot bed blocks

hi katie - don't know why I didn't see this till now. I too had two babies with reflux - both terrible screamers and complete nightmares.

Would second what Laura has said about the ranitidine - you need to get that checked (with the pharmacist or GP) because their weight changes so quickly at this age and the medication needs to be at the right dose to make a difference.

We found the tipped up cot didn't help that much but for some reason, both of mine found it easier sleeping on their sides but I don't know what the SIDS advice on that is now.

Re the emotional side - I fully understand how wearing it is. It is so so awful . You really need to get a break from the screaming/relentlessness of it all if you can - even if it means just strolling around a shopping centre on your own or getting dh to take them out to the park while you have a kip in bed. I know that's a short term fix but sometimes those little fixes will raise your spirits enough to get through the next bad phase. It is VERY hard and our (dh and I) relationship did suffer because of it being so difficult but did recover once the kids' health improved so massive sympathies to you.

I can't believe that the paed didn't mention the fact that the dose needs to be increased with weight change. How odd, he is a paediatric gastroenterologist too.

I do agree that the small things make it more bearable. Just having MIL her today (although she can be tres annoying) meant I could actually eat a sandwich and listen to 5 live without {shock horror} the fear of waking baby up by dropping food on his head (when in sling). or trying to eat whilst handling a screamer - which does nothing for the appetite.

It is a real strain in relationship but I am hoping that as we have been through it once then we can at least recognise there is light at end of tunnel.

My mum always reckons that other mums lie about babies sleeping through the night and how 'good' they are. I always thought it was an odd concept to fib about something like that.

And I am very aware that there are people who are going and have gone through a hell of a lot worse than this.
Going to try and get early night tonight. The hideous sleep deprivation doesn't help.

maybe his dose is OK at his weight - worth checking I suppose. Incidentally, there are other medicines for reflux (as others have mentioned) so don't be afraid to tell the paed if you don't think it's working.

I think some people do have fabulous sleeping babies - I just know that I never had that with mine and now realise, via mumsnet, that actually, a lot of people go through the same thing!

The screaming in the pushchair is very stressful too because it means you can't rely on the trusted 'shove them in the pushchair and get out for a walk' thing.

Hope you get some respite tonight.

Hi Katierocket.

He is very colicky.Have you tried colief drops.

Katierocket - no advice but lots of Hope you get through this soon.