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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Can anyone stop Katierocket from being driven insane by very difficult newborn......please!

188 replies

katierocket · 23/03/2007 07:44

OK so DS1 was a really unsettled baby, had horrendous colic, terrible sleeper blah blah. We tried everything to help but it only really improved as he got older (he's 5 now). Anyway, DS2 (9 weeks) is just as bad (if not worse) and it really is driving me to utter despair (and I don't say that lightly).
He's very unsettled, and is really susceptible to being really easily over stimulated and having screaming fits. I could cope with that but the worse thing is his sleep - he is an absolute nightmare to get to sleep, you have to rock him and rock him, or walk round him in in a sling for ages or put him in the pram and walk for ages (although lately even this isn't working). But the worse thing is that once you've got him asleep he will wake up after a really short time (anywhere between 10 and 30 mins) and so then it all starts again.

Currently he is getting up at 5am in the morning (we're used to this - DS1 did it for 4 and half years) so by 6am he is knackered and screaming house down. I just can't figure out what to do to improve the situation. THings are getting worse not better.

He was diagnosed as having mild reflux and is on medicine for that, he's also been to a cranial osteopath.

if anyone has any suggestions I'd really really appreciate it.

OP posts:

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Original poster

katierocket · 23/03/2007 10:07

oh blueshoes I did smile at that comment. FIL said something similar and oh how I longed for him to look after DS2 for just a few hours. Some babies just aren't like that I want to scream.

OP posts:

blueshoes · 23/03/2007 10:10

katie, do you have a Phil & Ted's E3 Explorer per chance? I find that ds sleeps better in the boot compartment, all snug in his cocoon, which has a small side-by-side motion, along with the forward motion when you push it.

I know you said ds2 likes to be held rather than motion, just exploring options ...

pooka · 23/03/2007 10:11

Poor you. Well remember the strain of dd's early months, and she was my first so didn't have to worry about anyone but her, me, and dh a distant third.
You know what - I can't remember any one thing that made it easier. Sorry. the only thing that helped was her growing older and losing the colic, and TBH the turning point was when she was about 6 months and could sit up. Until then was hard hard work.
I made the mistake of believing the people who had told me that everything would right itself when she was 12/14 weeks. So always felt a bit cheated after that age that she didn't seem to be sleeping well/was still very cry=ey. So with ds I just looked forward to the 6 month marker as being more realistic and he was just generally a more peaceable baby.

Original poster

katierocket · 23/03/2007 10:11

no we have a nipper 360 (single not double). yesterday I tried really wrapping him up in a cosy warm blanket before I put him in it but it didn't really help.

It's the unpredictability that's a killer isn't it - what works one day might not work the next etc

OP posts:

Original poster

katierocket · 23/03/2007 10:14

yes pooka - totally agree, with DS1 6 months was much more of a changing point that the mythical 12 weeks. Oh bugger bugger, why did I have to get another one liek this (and I am aware that I have nothing to moan about really, he is after all, very healthy and ironically arrived after 3 years and a course of IVF)

I would be interested in how many mumsnet mums have had babies liek this and how many have had more than one (since that's when, on top of everything else, you start to question that it must be your parenting ability).

I think I'm rambling now!

OP posts:

blueshoes · 23/03/2007 11:37

yes, I frequently think I must be doing something wrong ...

scotlou · 23/03/2007 11:49

You know, reading your OP brings back the feelings of panic I had with dd! I assumed that after having ds who was a relatively difficult baby that dd would be different. Everyone said that no.2 was easier! She was a nightmare until at least 6 months. SCreaemd constantly. One Sunday we phoned my mum to come and take her away for the day otherwise we would have flipped! We would just put her down to scream in her room with the door closed sometimes just to get a break. The swing did work with her for a bit - I could put her in it at dinner time and if we were lucky we wold get teh meal finished before she started again. I would take her in the bath with me while I bathed ds - and that helped a bit. WOuld tehn put her in her bouncy chair in the bathroom while I finished ds's bath - and she would scream!. ds and I used to sing loudly to drown her out! So I really sympathise.

Original poster

katierocket · 23/03/2007 12:03

blueshoes - sorry if you've told me this before but how old are your children now?

thanks scotlou

OP posts:

Enid · 23/03/2007 12:10

sorry I asked on another thread how things were going

sorry to hear they are not so good

Original poster

katierocket · 23/03/2007 12:11

ah you found it
no worries Enid - thanks for asking.

OP posts:

Enid · 23/03/2007 12:12

a nintendo for ds a lovely idea go on get him one

sorry have not read all thread but you need A BREAK - is tehre somenoe that can take him for a few hours?

Enid · 23/03/2007 12:14

dd3 hated teh swing

I sold it on ebay for more than I paid for it so there you go

she liked being walked aruond and having her bottom and back patted

again and again and again...then at about 13 weeks...she stopped!

littleEasterlapin · 23/03/2007 12:15

Oh Katie, you have my utmost sympathy, DS was like this as well and I thought I'd go bonkers.

Cranial osteo was good for us, but white noise was FANTASTIC - he would only sleep to the deafening noise of a hoover (on a CD thankfully).

I know he's tiny, but is there anyway someone can babysit for a few hours just to give you a break?

Gingerbear · 23/03/2007 12:18

katierocket, I have no practical advice I am afraid, but a big hug and a sympathetic shoulder.
I wish I had a magic wand for you

poppynic · 23/03/2007 12:19

katierocket - you have my full sympathies. My ds1 was like this and it totally wore me out - for about 3 years. I can only suggest what my mum kept saying to me, make sure you look after yourself too. She has given me a mantra which I have found helpful, "I count. I am important. I now nourish myself with love and care. We are safe and well." - I know it's very new agey but it's very difficult to look after yourself when you have such a demanding baby and saying the words do help. - Already I'm taking up more room in the bed and loving it .

Every time you worry about the problem being your parenting say out loud that you are a great parent - you know that by looking at your older child who is pretty much set on his lovely path by his age . My demanding ds has turned out beautifully too. It's definitely the way they come out. I could tell my dd (now 8 weeks) was a different kettle of fish from the first day in the hospital - she's more into just being by herself so I'm now trying not to worry that she's just not bright like her brother .

The thing that helped ds's sleeping was as soon as he could roll over and get on his tummy he would stay asleep much longer. I know it's a risk but maybe you could try putting him on his tummy and having a lie down beside him to watch him and see if he stays asleep - you could have a lie down and watch he is safe at the same time???

Best wishes for all your efforts.

Original poster

katierocket · 23/03/2007 12:29

thank you thank you again
poppynic - that's interesting about sleeping on the tummy. My friend's ds was the same and she put him on his tummy and he slept much better - tis a bit of a scary prospect though.

Well you're not going to believe what has happened. MIL has not been to visit since he was 1 week old (despite not living too far away). Anyway, in desperation DP called her and asked her to come over and help. So we've gone on and on about how difficult he is etc and he's only gone and fallen asleep in her arms (after hardly a murmur) - blinking hell, she's going to think we're making it all up or...it's because I'm "tense".

OP posts:

Original poster

katierocket · 23/03/2007 12:31

and I should add that I'm aware that sometimes I probably am a bit tense but usually I am very calm because I know being otherwise will not help. I can just picture her going back to FIL - "well he slept in my arms like a dream".

OP posts:

SoupDragon · 23/03/2007 12:32

Bloody babies, they're contrary little buggers aren't they? Still, at least he's asleep!

If you can't face putting him to sleep on his tummy, try on his side. All the Dragons preferred this. BabyDragon liked to have a cushion tucked on ther tummy too so it felt like she was being held. I used to get her to sleep in the sling, put her in the rocker chair on her side and slither out of the sling, wedge a cushion on her tummy and run.

Original poster

katierocket · 23/03/2007 12:33

"contrary little bugger" is just right!

ta for the tip - will definitely give that a go

OP posts:

mamma2kids · 23/03/2007 12:42

Mine didn't sleep either. Carry him in a sling. Had to sleep with DD every night as she wouldn't sleep in the cot. Some babies just hate to be separated.

blueshoes · 23/03/2007 13:32

katie, you asked how old my dcs were. Dd is 3.5 and ds is 6 months.

Original poster

katierocket · 23/03/2007 13:41

ah well blueshoes - guess you're through the worse of it eh?

mamma - sling has been absolutely godsend but he only likes cradle position and is getting pretty big for that

OP posts:

blueshoes · 23/03/2007 13:45

Dd is over the hump. But ds is just revving up - teeth!

Dh has just taken him out in the buggy - could hear him screaming all the way down the road! Oh my...

CantSlimWontSlim · 23/03/2007 13:57

Oh katierocket please don't ask how many mums have had 2 babies like this - I want to remain in denial about the answer! We are ttc no 2 at the moment, and can't bear the thought that it could be as bad all over again. Dh said when dd was about 3 months that he didn't want any more children, because he couldn't bear to go through it all again (this was after taking 5 years to make dd, who was (and is!) very much wanted).

How very typical that he went to sleep on your MIL. Do make her stay for a few days so that she can see the fuller picture.

Hope you are catching up on some sleep yourself whilst she is there too.

Enid · 23/03/2007 13:58

(katie I did tummy sleeping with mine too - I was worried to start with but afteter a few fantastic nights sleep I soon stopped )

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