Highly Able Children

[saisanne1]

Would like to hear from parents of highly children

Luci, excellent post

I would just echo everyone to say don't let these labels define him at this young age. He's just a little child, not a collection of achievements, and being out of step with your peers is not always a nice thing (says the person who was 'gifted' but had no friends til I was about 11!) I also had a dd who is gifted intellectually, and we spend a lot of time trying to extend her other skills, the intellectual stuff tends to take care of itself- so going to clubs, being in groups, making and sustaining friendships, encouraging good emotional development.

I wouldn't worry one jot about school 'extending' him, it's fine to be the one that can read when others can't, it doesn't last long anyway! None of mine have needed extending beyond the normal primary school parameters, primary schools are into differentiation these days and will set extra maths/extension activities.

I have a daughter, she hasn't gone anywhere!

You are getting excellent advice on this thread.

Does he jump in puddles, play kick about with friends in the park, paint the fence with just slightly muddy water?
How does he behave at soft play?

most 4 year olds still don't know their alphabet.
As a specialist early years practitioner I can tell you that his is not true. What on earth makes you think it is?

On a personal level, none of my five are highly able and one has significant SNs but they all knew their alphabet way before their 4th birthday

I'm not at all convinced by your sweeping statements about gifted children. What you've been investigating sounds like it has a lot of confirmation bias in it.

Four eyes, being the only one who can read isn't fine, it can be really limiting (depending on the teacher). And most kids do not catch up to gifted kids - if you're smarter than the average you don't lose that over time.

Dc1 is/was the same.
My emphasis has always being to help him fit socially (I even enrolled him into football so he had something to share with boys in his class at break time).
Teachers should be able to differentiate for him, at least a little bit so he isn't getting too bored.
At home, we did plenty of stuff around him 'learning' things, some more educational programs, museums and more importantly, just talking about things around us and explaining how they work, the history etc etc. In effect we never talked to him as if he was 4yo and therefore could understand xx. We aimed much much higher up both in the complexity and in the vocabulary etc...
Then where he could read better (Y1~2 onwards) books, books and books.

I personally would keep a close eye on him and his behaviour and looking at how well he is coping with school. Dc1 did well in Y1 because it was a split class Y1~Y2 so he was working at Y2 level all year. Y2 was a disaster so we moved school and it settled down better (but they got the best out of him iyswim).
So don't be ashamed of assessing how he is doing, talking to the school and moving him to a better school (fir him!) if need be.

Yeah I do back up the teachers, if he's naughty he gets things he loves taken away, I'm working on his behaviour and hoping to get him on track with everything by the time he starts school you have literally blown my brain with this comment. What teachers are you talking about if your child hasn't yet started school

Btw I would be careful about the the idea of extending/stretching the child in primary.

If the idea is to make them move as far ahead as possible so that they can do CGSE stuff by Y6, maybe this is not the aim you want to have (dc1 would have been able to do that if pushed, in some subjects). I don't believe for sample in making the child work at home to get ahead for his peers and be able to do 'more'.

However, a child that is bored to death and therefore not engaged with what is happening in the classroom, can also become very disruptive. They can also stop trying altogether and show very bad results.
I have seen that happening with dc1 once he gut to secondary. Because just as his primary had been good enough to keep busy, secondary hasn't and it has been a bit of disaster TBH.

Also not all schools are able to differentiate appropriately. One primary and dc1 secondary both seems to struggle a lot with that...

He loves jumping in puddles, soft play etc, he does all the usual kids stuff and I let him lead the play etc, I don't push him to read, he does it when he wants, which is pretty much constantly as he never stops wanting to learn

Legit she probably means the nursery workers/class leaders..

DS is aged 4 and has an ASD diagnosis. He too is reading, writing in sentences now and counting in groups (2's, 5's and 10's). This is all picked up from DD1. He is in a specialist class and his teacher has been great at pushing him to understand what he has been taught and develop his social skills which are very lacking.

School have told me that both of my kids are very bright. I take it with a huge bucket of salt because at ages 5 and 4 it is far too early to tell where they are at. I expect that they will average out with their peers.

I would go back and see someone who is a specialist in the diagnosis of young children with ASD. Your description of his behaviours and abilities sounds very similar to DS. Don't be afraid of labelling. It often means your kids will then get the help they need. Without the label they won't get help.

The educational psychologist says he will need that in primary, extra challanges. Out of 120 children in his nursery, a few can read some words, but not fluently like him, I'm not a pushy parent I'm just giving him what he craves, learning about everything and anything

At nursery in Scotland, the have teachers also in the nursery

Legit she probably means the nursery workers/class leaders.. Exactly. So not even teachers but the OP is happy to take their word that her son isn't autistic etc

It must be the area that you are in - my daughter can read at 3 and is certainly not unusual among her peers. 120 is a massive nursery! Maybe he'd do better at a smaller one?

In Scotland if they see your child as able, you get additional support for learning to challenge them, you have no choice in this, they provide this help for your help if they feel they need it

4 children can read like her in her class of 30 3/4 year olds...

I am in Scotland. There will be a nursery teacher present in a pre school setting only.

That teacher will oversee the running of the nursery, but usually the key worker is an early years practitioner or similar named person.

Either way, I wouldn't be accepting the word of a nursery teacher regarding any possible issues that require extensive investigation in order to diagnose.

There are teachers in Scottish Nursery's all have at least one. There are 60 kids in the morning and 60 in the afternoon

It's a known fact that gifted children challenge (sic) authority and generally do find nursery difficult

What tosh.

But you can do all that as his mum. Surely the nursery would see that too. Chasing a plastic diagnosis is for who's benefit because I can assure you it will be taken with a pinch of salt at primary.

Once again he is four. Even Einstein had to follow rules. That's not a sign of being gifted. (And before an Einstein expert appears and disagrees I am being flippant) :)