Highly Able Children

[saisanne1]

Would like to hear from parents of highly children

Doing one to one reading, special responsibilities, small group work etc isn't really support though. They happen routinely for all children in nursery and schools as it's part and parcel of differentiation tbh.
When ds entered school nursery at 4 I never mentioned his abilities to the teacher because I wasn't even aware they were out of the ordinary and the teacher's reaction when I told her he had never been to any childcare put me off as she assumed that he would be behind.
Within days I was called in to discuss ds and agree to a referral to an ed psych. Their "concerns" were "He was reading bedtime stories to his friends in the home corner" and they observed him reading the instruction leaflets in the orchard games. "On the whiteboard he was adding and subtracting three figure numbers and was obviously working out multiplication for himself" and "when asked to draw what he had done at the weekend he produced a diary complete with clocks showing the time and sentences perfectly spelt"
Ds did spend time in with y2 for numeracy because it was his passion but for everything else nursery managed to meet his needs and he had a great time. His tests put his abilities in the top 0.05% of the population.
He was an absolute delight from the off I don't recognise many of the difficulties from the list in ds if I'm honest because he was so easy and he charmed the socks off everyone who taught him. I still get asked about him by his teachers in Primary twenty years after he left

Isan, just out of nosiness... what is your son up to now?

Yeah I didn't say anything to the nursery either, they were constantly commenting on his reading, he only behaved like that in nursery because of that teacher, he's doing brilliant now she's off his back and trying to label him with ADHD, he's just a very energetic boy and a lot of people can't be bothered it that, they want kids to sit and be quiet

It's not one to one support, but it's a start and better than him running about constantly in free play

Well he works in Local Government, he has a degree and a Masters and is part way through another degree. At 28 he is 2 steps from being a director and is responsible for a £30 million pound budget.
He's doing really well, studying never made him feel the buzz like work does tbh, he never had to work at it and didn't find it intrinsically rewarding. Last week he "found" £22k in separate amounts that his department was owed (that the finance dept had missed) and he was over the moon

To do well though children do need to learn to sit still and apply themselves so you can understand why the nursery might need to want to work on that and IME free play is really valuable because it gives a child the opportunity to explore their own boundaries. With free play you might have a child building towers working alongside a child using the same bricks to explore 3d geometry or to discover multiplication like ds did. It wasn't a waste of time at all, it did build an independent desire to learn which is important,build friendships and relationships with his peers and he would have been bored rigid and frustrated if he had been expected to push on with reading books or writing skills instead.He was four and he wanted to play with his friends.

And another piece of advice I would offer you OP, is that if you go into school claiming you know what teachers are "secretly thinking", I know what they'll secretly think about you. Don't be that parent.

He can sit still and he loves free play, but when he's outside constantly and then gets to a height where he can't bring himself down, they have seen first hand when he's under stimulated and that's why they have brought in some other things

I had comments like what have you gave him for breakfast, we can't do anything till you have that bit of paper, he's been so hyper today, then a teacher slipped up, so I know what they were thinking and I knew it wasn't true and they were proved wrong

Suburban I think I was a pretty lax parent tbh but I suspect his teachers were grateful I never questioned that they might not be doing something or should be doing more, never thought to ask them about stretching and challenging him because ds seemed to gather knowledge regardless and if he ever was bored,he never said because I'd probably have told him "only boring people get bored" as I did at home

You are obviously desperate to have it accepted by everyone he is gifted and DOES NOT have any if those pesky SN. He is far too young to be assessed appropriately however and unless they were paediatric specialists in ADHD, they will be clueless about the true presentation and diagnostic criteria. As are some EP. Unfortunately.

However gifted your child is, it will mean very little to him, and eventually you, if he is not helped with socialisation and friendships and becomes miserable.

My child is of exceptional intelligence but has SN and struggles to make and retain friends. He has been deeply depressed to the extent of self harming. And that is with my best efforts to socialise. Please calm down in your desperation to have him recognised as a child prodigy and help him enjoy his childhood.

Alternatively hop over to the Gifted and Talented board and immerse yourself in the glory of brilliance.

And what the fuck is a "child health" doctor? Do you mean a paediatrician?

The Nursery "secretly" thought he had ADHD... You sound unbelievably deluded about your child, op. And you have yet to clarify exactly what sort of doctor swears he doesn't have autism or ADHD.
A GP will not be qualified to make that call; and would be negligent as hell not to refer you to a specialist for assessments, based on your portrayal of him in your op.
But you're standing firm that he's merely gifted...
Hope you're right.

If he's unable to sit still and takes forever to "come down" if he's been outside a lot (what 4 year old kid doesn't like being outside a lot?) then he WILL have issues at school.

He will be one of 30.

That teacher is not going to treat your child as any more special than any other child.

If he is taking up their time with his behaviour then it will cause no end of problems going forward.

And if he cannot learn to control his impulses and behaviour (as a gifted child I'm assuming he can be reasoned with) then there is a fair chance that he may have additional needs.

But don't for one minute think there's a TA for the gifted kids. That's not what the extra help is, I can promise you that!

MrsT agree 100%. The OP should be concentrating on working with her DS on his behaviour / impulsiveness etc. This would reap so many benefits when he comes to join his class. Agree re the dedicated SfLA too - his "giftedness" (or whatever it is) will be catered for by differentiation by the class teacher, and if she is hoping otherwise she's in for a massive disappointment.

Unless he is a danger to himself or others (& by danger I mean full on risk) he isn't going to get any 1:1 with a normal or above normal IQ.

Work is fairly easy to differentiate infants so he will get that (along with the other children).

Well Devillish I'd say that generally what you say is right but dd has 20 hours of 1 to 1 support at age 14 and is predicted top grades throughout (not gifted) and has no behavioural issues. She does have ASD though and I have fought to get the support she does have.So it is possible but rare.

The support will be directed because of the ASD

I've sent a few state school kids on an Oxbridge path (one of whom was truly gifted) and they didn't get extra help, other that what we as classroom teacher could give to stretch and deepen their knowledge

Yup. Support will be for ASD. Like MrsT said, very little support is offered to bright pupils. The class teachers/subject specialists are het for that one, especially at secondary level. Differentiation is the solution here.

MrsT She got a statement at three more because of global development delay rather than the autism tbh but the GDD had long gone by the end of foundation (she got a very high EYFS score). I'm under no illusion that had we applied at five she would have been refused. By keeping the support it means that she will be able to do herself justice hopefully anyway.

Glad you got it when you did.

These days TAs in my classroom are a rarity yet we have more and more students with additional needs.

Those that would have been statemented 5/10 years back don't get a chance these days.

Getting the new version of a statement is something akin to locating a Saxon Hoard.....

saisanne1 Mon 13-Mar-17 18:22:20
"He can sit still and he loves free play, but when he's outside constantly and then gets to a height where he can't bring himself down"

Why would being outside cause a problem with giftedness? Surely for a gifted and inquisitive mind nothing could be more stimulating than being outside: a whole world to explore and question and experiment with. If being outside gets him hyper, then I don't see how giftedness would be causing this.

My own experience would suggest that there is a Venn diagram here, which has the sectors of giftedness and social/emotional problems overlapping in the middle but also a large chunk of gifted-but-without-social-and/or-emotional-problems on one side and an equally large one with-social-and/or-emotional-problems-but-not-gifted on the other. I have certainly known plenty of people in all three areas.