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Original poster

Is my 2 year old "normal" or badly behaved?

57 replies

AuntiePenguin · 11/01/2017 19:46

DH and I disagree about our PFB's behaviour - I've asked family and friends who agree with me, but I'm aware they could be being polite so turning to the mumsnet jury!

I think DS is normal for an energetic 2 year old (just turned 2), DH thinks he's the worst behaved child he's ever seen and that we need to do something (unclear what!) to impose some discipline.

I'd welcome some honest opinions on DS's behaviour. Here are some examples:

  • we went out for dinner, he sat at the table, ate well, but then got bored as we were still eating. There were no other customers, and the waiters know us and are very child friendly. He started climbing down from the chair and wandering around - he climbed up on to other chairs, tried to pour salt out of the containers (although he stopped that as soon as I told him to), lay on the floor, walked up and down pointing at animals on the wall and making the noises. We told him a few times to come back to the table and he would for a few minutes, then would climb down again. When DH tried to pick him up to bring him back, he'd run away laughing.
  • he likes playgroups, but won't sit in the circle with the other children for song/story time, he just wanders off to play.
  • he has tantrums about typical toddler nonsense (he wants the red cup not the blue one etc etc), and will shout, throw himself on the floor, cry. After a bit he'll calm down enough that I can get him interested in something else.
  • he hits or kicks sometimes (only us, not other children), and laughs about it, doesn't seem to understand it's hurting us.

So....any thoughts? Is this normal or is he actually a terror and I'm just oblivious?

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BantyCustards · 11/01/2017 19:47

Sounds pretty normal

JohnLapsleyParlabane · 11/01/2017 19:47

He sounds pretty well behaved for 2 actually

bummymummy77 · 11/01/2017 19:48

He's 2. Sounds lad for the course.

bummymummy77 · 11/01/2017 19:48

Par not lad.

Gracey79 · 11/01/2017 19:50

Mines 22 months he sounds much better behaved than mine Grin

HeyRoly · 11/01/2017 19:50

Sounds totally normal.

Timeforheroes · 11/01/2017 19:50

Sounds normal behaviour. It was around this time we started trying to issue clearer boundaries.

Might be worth taking something for him to do when you go out for a meal next, so he isn't running about and you relieve his boredom.

Justme3 · 11/01/2017 19:50

Sounds normal!

bookworm14 · 11/01/2017 19:51

Well, if he's uniquely badly behaved then so is my 16-month-old! Grin

RoganJosh · 11/01/2017 19:51

At two I think one of you needs to be on full time entertaining during a meal out. Well we needed to with ours.

glintwithpersperation · 11/01/2017 19:51

Totally normal. However your husband sounds very odd

lionheart · 11/01/2017 19:51

Sounds like a 2 year old. How many toddlers does your DH know?

Shelvesoutofbooks · 11/01/2017 19:51

Doesn't sound very normal to me Hmm

DailyFail1 · 11/01/2017 19:52

His behaviour is not really for us to judge. You and your dh live with him everyday so should know what he's like. If your dh has real concerns yabu to dismiss them.

At 2 he's not too young for the naughty step or a similar disciplinary technique - I personally would find one that works and apply it consistantly. The violence especially is worrying as he could start hitting other kids and teachers (happened to my sil - her pupil hit and bit her at 4) if not nipped in the bud now

ipswichwitch · 11/01/2017 19:54

Pretty normal behaviour for a 2 year old. Of course, not all of them do this, but DS2 did and more.

booellesmum · 11/01/2017 19:55

I would say all normal for 2 but you do need to be firm about the kicking/ hitting you. He is old enough at 2 to start to learn that is not acceptable.

876TaylorMade · 11/01/2017 19:56

Aspects do sound normal.

But the hiting and biting is not. And should not be tolerated. It can become a problem in the future.

The tantrums... shouting... kicking throwing himself on the floor also needs addressing.

You are being a bit oblivious.

Windyone · 11/01/2017 19:57

Seems normal to me. Its very difficult to relax and have a meal out with a 2 year old.

Timeforheroes · 11/01/2017 19:57

^^ We had a small blanket we used as a naughty square. Was easy to carry about and use when out. I don't want to speak out of turn, but I think you will need to do something about the types of behaviour you've mentioned, whilst 'normal', it isn't something I'd expect to be happening a lot. So I'd be trying to nip it in the bud.

BobbieDog · 11/01/2017 20:01

I think it's not normal behaviour.

My dd is 4 and was nothing like that at 2. She has never threw herself on the floor but I ve always been very strict with her from very young so I ve never had a problem with her behaviour

Paddingtonthebear · 11/01/2017 20:04

Sounds very normal. Agree with others about nipping some of it in the bud. Easier said than done of course. But I know a 4 year old who still behaves like he did at 2 years old but now is also very aggressive and disruptive. Parents never nipped in the bud as a toddler and have no control over him whatsoever now. Sad

StewieGMum · 11/01/2017 20:09

Fairly normal for a 2 year old but I wouldn't let them wander around a restaurant - even if you're the only customer. I've seen one too many children get badly burnt in restaurants as they run about.

littledinaco · 11/01/2017 20:11

He sounds very normal but the dinner thing sounds very confusing for him tbh. I think you need to decide he has to either stay at the table (take a bag with different activities for him) or let him get down. Keeping asking him to come back/bringing him back then letting him get down again is not really helping him understand what he is/isn't allowed to do. It also means that when you're in a situation where you really need him to come and sit down then it's harder for him to understand as last time when you said come back to the table you didn't really mean it.
If you can decide on the 'rules' and stick to them, it makes DC feel much safer and happier and generally leads to better behaviour.

ItsNiceItsDifferentItsUnusual · 11/01/2017 20:16

Sounds very normal. At 18-24 months ds also hit and hit me and dh, we dealt with the behaviour (i.e. we never dismissed it as 'one of those things') and eventually it passed - I think a combination of growing out of it and being parented out of it.

Ds also wouldn't sit still at groups, and didn't like eating in restaurants.

At 3 he is like a different child. Calm, mostly Grin absolutely beautifully behaved, and I am very proud of him. You'll get there - consistent, clear boundaries, lots of love, and he'll learn. Your dh is overreacting I think.

Lireal · 11/01/2017 20:18

Sounds normal.
My 2.9yo hates story/sing time too.
Distraction, distraction and modelling good behavior
The kicking and biting tell him firmly off, stop engaging with him, put him away from you, until he stops. He thinks it's a game. Gently take his hands and show him how to gently stroke your cheeks, tickle, or to give nice hugs instead. Or a different game entirely.
Not many 2yo will stay sat at a table for long periods.
Just remember, he doesn't know what he should be doing until he's learnt it.
Naughty step doesn't work for us.
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