Is my 2 year old "normal" or badly behaved?

[AuntiePenguin]

DH and I disagree about our PFB's behaviour - I've asked family and friends who agree with me, but I'm aware they could be being polite so turning to the mumsnet jury!

I think DS is normal for an energetic 2 year old (just turned 2), DH thinks he's the worst behaved child he's ever seen and that we need to do something (unclear what!) to impose some discipline.

I'd welcome some honest opinions on DS's behaviour. Here are some examples:

• we went out for dinner, he sat at the table, ate well, but then got bored as we were still eating. There were no other customers, and the waiters know us and are very child friendly. He started climbing down from the chair and wandering around - he climbed up on to other chairs, tried to pour salt out of the containers (although he stopped that as soon as I told him to), lay on the floor, walked up and down pointing at animals on the wall and making the noises. We told him a few times to come back to the table and he would for a few minutes, then would climb down again. When DH tried to pick him up to bring him back, he'd run away laughing.

• he likes playgroups, but won't sit in the circle with the other children for song/story time, he just wanders off to play.

• he has tantrums about typical toddler nonsense (he wants the red cup not the blue one etc etc), and will shout, throw himself on the floor, cry. After a bit he'll calm down enough that I can get him interested in something else.

• he hits or kicks sometimes (only us, not other children), and laughs about it, doesn't seem to understand it's hurting us.

So....any thoughts? Is this normal or is he actually a terror and I'm just oblivious?

At this age, I think it's not so much a case of what they will do as what their parents will stop. What other people need to see is not so much that your toddler can control himself as that you can.

In the case of the restaurant, I would have held onto dc (or used highchair) rather than let them climb all over the place- but I would not have blamed them for trying. If it could have been done pleasantly I would have done that: if it had resulted in a tantrum I would have taken him out.

At playgroup I would check what is expected from the playgroup leaders and try gently holding onto him if that is the norm, but letting him get on with it if it is not a problem- it's basically about being aware of other people.

I had one hitter/biter (and one who never did). I was not able to train her out of it as such a young age, but I would restrain her to make sure she never hit or bit more than once on any one occasion: the message given was "mummy will put a stop to this".

Totally normal

Agree with others that it is completely normal two year old behaviour. The job of parenting to try and manage it!

We have a cloth highchair that we still use for our 2.5 year old in restaurants, so he can't get down from his seat and also take books, playdoh, toys, stickers, and a last resort iPad.

Normal to we'll behaved. The fact he stopped fiddling with the salt when you asked is impressive.

Totally normal.

Bobbiedog you remind me of me right up until I had ds2. I was the practically perfect in every way parent. I'm guessing you've only got the one right?

Sounds completely normal to me. Two year olds are supposed to be difficult, that's why they're called the terrible two's! I disagree with what another poster said about him being "not too young for the naughty step" . Actually he is way too young to understand why he was being put there, would most likely run off ad infinitum and in any case it would most likely not prevent him from repeating the behavior. The reason is because a two year old has little if any impulse control, the part of their brain that deals with this is still very underdeveloped. I think your DH has unrealistic expectations of what a two year old should behave like and what they are capable of. I would get him to read "ToddlerCalm" by Sarah Ockwell Smith, it's a brilliant book that explains everything!