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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

How on earth do you get lo's to go to bed awake?! I need help!

64 replies

cruisemum1 · 22/12/2006 20:59

My 15 week old ds is now crying in his cot for the umpteenth time this evening (it it now nearly 9pm) because he cannot fall asleep by himself. He uses me as a dummy but will not take a real dummy. He nods off, I put him down and then he wakes again and we go through the whole thing again. I am so tired of being stuck upstairs soothing him to sleep but nothing seems to work. Tried baby whisperer but it cranked him up so much he was beside himself and then so was I. I am desperate to get this sorted but I don't know how. Anyone been through this/going through this? Your help please.

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Original poster

cruisemum1 · 28/12/2006 16:03

mumtoapiglet - so sorry to hear of your awful night - hope tonight is better for you . good news here - ds is at the moment sucking away on his dummy for the first time ! I am over the moon!!! maybe this can replace me as the walking talking dummy and give me my evenings back! .

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danidave · 28/12/2006 17:17

Hello

Quite new to this, I have same prob with my lo (18 weeks), never took to a dummy, will only sleep on me during the day and hates buggy and car seat - screams all the time when in them. I need to tackle the sleep thing, don't have the guts to try cc, would really appreciate trying with you guys in the NY if you'll let me join in ?!

Original poster

cruisemum1 · 28/12/2006 19:30

danidave - welcome! Isn't it great to know we are all in the same boat?

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MumToAPiglet · 28/12/2006 20:50

Congratulations on getting DS to take the dummy Cruisemum. Has it helped you get him down tonight?

This is probably not the thing you guys want to hear but today has (so far) been a huge success sleep wise. DD had her 45min morning nap in the car on the way to my aunts. She then normally has a 2 hour nap from 1-3pm while I push her in the buggy the whole time. Today DH pushed her for 15mins and then we left the pram in my aunt's slightly cold porch (DD hates being inside to nap) and she slept the next 1hr 45mins in a stationary pram . Then tonight we got stuck on the M1 and were late home and missed her bed time. By the time we got home at 7.30pm she had hit a second wind and was wide awake and smiling. I changed her, fed her and because she was so very awake I thought I would lie her in the cot with her toy duck for 10mins and feed her again once she had tired herself out playing. BUT 15 mins later she had fallen asleep in the cot .

This is all rather different to last night. As I said yesterday my DD is nothing if not totally inconsistant.

On a less positive note I have a bllod blister on my right nipple because DD was sucking so much last night.

Original poster

cruisemum1 · 28/12/2006 21:29

mumtopiglet - ouch! Been there, done that - yuck! Funnily enough lo has gone down at 7:15pm tonight too! I have had to go up there once to settle him but usually this takes the entire night! Let's hope this is a turning point eh?
More later, putting dd to bed. We watched a whole dvd tonight TOGETHER!!!! Lovely.
More tomorrow......

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DecktheWallacewithBoughsofHoll · 28/12/2006 22:03

cruisemum - you asked somewhere how old my ds is - he is 22 weeks and we have been trying him with a dummy for a few weeks.

I have been putting him down in his cot then lying in bed right beside him and humming to him and holding his hand...seems to be working

Original poster

cruisemum1 · 28/12/2006 22:08

DecktheWallace - the things we do!!!!lol! Did you ever imagine in your youth that you would be lying in the dark humming to your infant

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DecktheWallacewithBoughsofHoll · 28/12/2006 22:12

LOL even worse he likes his hand up against my mouth while I'm humming...

Original poster

cruisemum1 · 29/12/2006 07:44

Oh that's so funny!! what a bizarre scene! {fgrin].
well done for finding something that works...

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danidave · 29/12/2006 09:53

Hello, my dh has taken on the sleep 'training' for the next week in a bid to crack it before he goes back to work. He managed to get her to sleep for 30 mins after about 15 mins crying this morining. Tyring to establish a daytime nap routine to seperate it from night - music, sleeping in a different carrycot in the spare room and closing the curtains while telling her its nap time, we'll see how the next nap goes. Trick I think is to catch her before she gets too tired, but difficult to tell....

DecktheWallacewithBoughsofHoll · 29/12/2006 09:59

and amazingly he slept until 9:30 this morning without waking up at all in the night bet that is a one off...

DecktheWallacewithBoughsofHoll · 29/12/2006 10:00

danidave you're so right about catching them before they're too tired - i think that is the key

adath · 29/12/2006 20:11

Have not read all the replies but I did read you never wanted to leave him to cry.
I have a book called the no cry sleep solution I got in highly recommended mine came from Amazon.
It is fantastic, it does take longer than the crying it out but it helps you develop a gentle sleep plan for baby.
My DS had awful sleep habits and was waking up every 1-2 hours now he goes in his cot at night with his mobile on and a blanket to snuggle and falls asleep and if he stirs in the night he most of the time settles himself although if he loses his dummy then he wants it back.
I could not have left him to cry and even as i was reading the book I kept thinking how is this going to work but honest it does give it a shot.

Original poster

cruisemum1 · 29/12/2006 22:28

Adath - Oooh - thanks for that. I will go and seek it out tomorrow! Actually, someone else recommended that book but I was so disillusioned by books that fail that I did not bother. As you say it worked for you I will try. Thanks and Happy New year!

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adath · 29/12/2006 22:57

I hope it works for you, like i said it does take time but it tells you to chart the sleep progress every 10 days and you do see a difference.
I have never been one for these books but I had reached the stage of desperation and bought it. DS (8 months today) has gone from waking up every 1-2 hours and breastfeeding (snacking) to going down between 6.30/7 waking about 11pm for a feed then going through until 6.30 in the morning.
He would only fall asleep being fed or at the very least cuddled now he hates not going to sleep in his own space at night.

Good luck looking forward to hearing how you get on.
Happy New year to you and your family.

Original poster

cruisemum1 · 30/12/2006 08:09

adath - that sounds great! i'll order it from amazon today.

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Original poster

cruisemum1 · 30/12/2006 09:10

adath - what is the basic outline of what you have to do with this method?

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adath · 30/12/2006 09:56

IT is basically how to gently remove the things the baby us to get to sleep, like the breast or a dummy or being cuddled to sleep.
It gives advice on how to remove these from the baby without causing you or the baby any upset, erm think of an example...like removing a dummy, it tells you things like allowing your baby to have it to settle as normal and removing before he falls asleep and if the baby gets upset give the dumy back until the baby settles again etc and although I cannot remeber details it does tell you how to continue along that route until the baby is settling without it.
It also sugest giving the baby a "lovey" something that is always there at bedtime and using a mobile or something that plays the same piece of music, we have a mobile and I play it when DS goes to bed and when he wakes up for a feed in the night and now if he stirs in the night i pop it on and he settled back to sleep as soon as it goes on. That was a major breakthrough for me.

Another thing I always struggled with was getting DS to sleep during the day rather than power naps and this helped me extend his sleep to 1-2 hours which makes him far easier to settle at night because he is not so tired at night.

I have not even scratched the surface with using the tips in this book because I have achieved in the space of a month or 2 achieved more than I ever imagined I would and if he want fed once in the night then I am happy with that. I was nervous about how much time some of these things were going to take up when putting them into practice but I was already spending so much time settling anyway that this turned out to be nothing.

Anything else I can help with or just for a chat give me a yell.

danidave · 30/12/2006 10:15

Update on sleep training, yesterday was pretty grim - dh has been putting dd down and leaving for 5, 10, 15 mins but going in for three minutes of sshh pat at the end of these times. She cried for more than an hour and eventually went to sleep for her two last naps yesterday. Not sure if she's learning to go to sleep or just exhausted, both felt awful doing it . This morning went down after about two mins crying and she slept pretty well last night. Will keep you posted

Original poster

cruisemum1 · 30/12/2006 10:52

danidave - I tried the pupd and shh /pat method last week with teh help of dh. It was horrendous and as a result we only did it one night (I know all our hard work was for nothing but....). He is such a good boy and so happy that it broke my heart to let him scream himself frantically to sleep. I know it works but I, like you, found it hard to bear.. Good luck to you tho
adath - sounds like the sort of method I could tolerate! I am not very good at hearing lo get upset so this sounds ideal esp since you seem so happy with the result and that it was virtually pain free . I'll order the book today and ask you for advice as things come up!

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jabberwocky · 30/12/2006 11:14

cruisemum1, there is an ongoing thread on the no cry sleep solution. I may be joining it later but ds2 is only 5 weeks so still hoping his sleep settles in the next few weeks

Original poster

cruisemum1 · 30/12/2006 11:27

jaberwocky - thanks! I will go there now

OP posts:

jabberwocky · 30/12/2006 11:29

You're welcome! Here's hoping I won't be joining you guys

NappiesGalooooooooooooria · 30/12/2006 16:47

have always wondered this... i have 3 lo's, eldest 3.5 and youngest 11mo and i never managed to get any of them to go to bed and put themselves to sleep by themselves really... esp as small babies. even the 2.5 and 3.6yo's need to be 'sat with' in the dark after the story for about 10 mins till they go off to sleep at bedtime.
youre all better women than i, if you manage what i consider the holy grail of parenting young ones; getting them to go to sleep happily, quietly, alone!

blueshoes · 30/12/2006 17:25

let me join you, nappies. My dd 3.3 and ds 3 months are exactly the same as yours. To this day, I can count on one hand the number of times in which dd fell asleep from awake without intervention - usually sheer fluke which dh and I will be talking about for days. Must be something I am doing wrong!

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