How on earth do you get lo's to go to bed awake?! I need help!

[cruisemum1]

My 15 week old ds is now crying in his cot for the umpteenth time this evening (it it now nearly 9pm) because he cannot fall asleep by himself. He uses me as a dummy but will not take a real dummy. He nods off, I put him down and then he wakes again and we go through the whole thing again. I am so tired of being stuck upstairs soothing him to sleep but nothing seems to work. Tried baby whisperer but it cranked him up so much he was beside himself and then so was I. I am desperate to get this sorted but I don't know how. Anyone been through this/going through this? Your help please.

ah, so its not just dp and i then!
i have absolutely no idea what they are talking about when they say 'put him down awake' in the books n stuff. tried it a million times and none of mine were ever having any of it

nappies and blueshoes - comforting words indeed. Seems to me there is such heavy emphasis on this aspect of parenting that we are unable to enjoy cuddling our lo's. Mind you, with dd she did go down without fuss (she had a dummy from 6 weeks tho) nightnight

two nights in a row! with no crying at all

cruisemum.

i bf for the first 6m or so of all 3's lives...and they always fell asleep on the breast at the last feed of the day...then came in to bed and fed laying down in the night... so they never had any experience of just laying down and going to sleep by themselves. i read that i was supposed to put them down awake, but what was i supposed to do? wake them up?? to put them to sleep?? madness.

we had a lovely wooden crib too. dont think it was occupied for a single night between them! LOL.

and by the time we had no3, i had a bedside crib...which never got used much either. doh! i just put a side guard thing on my bed in the end (to stop baby falling out) and accepted that he just slep with us, with a boob within suckling reach at all times

none of mine would take a dummy, awkward little buggers

nappies - my ds 16 weeks always falls asleep at breast and won't take a dummy either, which is why I started this thread in the first place! Had I known that so many of us go through the same thing i would just have chilled.... DD is 9 (next week!) and slept through from 11 weeks and went down awake from the word go virtually. that is why I was wondering what I was doing wrong. I am gonna enjoy my lo. he will not be little or bf for long .

ah.

well too right. just you enjoy that baby and trust your instincts and go with the flow... parenting would be a stressful old time if it were not for mn, imo! im so glad its here!

sleep training getting better, going down quicker - don't want to tempt fate, but this is the first time in 18 weekd, she's not had her daytime nap lying on me. Dh back at work on Tuesday, so I've got to convince myself I can do it when he's not here. dd seems to like having a cloth to suck on (tied to carrycot side) and a bear that I've been wearing in my bra (I look like Jordan with it in) - the things we do !

nappies, cruisemum, we have the same los! same thing here - reject dummies (and bottles), nursed down, sleep pressed up within suckling distance! Mine get hysterical within seconds if put down on their backs awake when tired.

Hi sorry not been on over xmas.
I ve just read the millponds sleep book and may give gentle retreat a go if I can summon up the energy. DS is just soo hard to settle after feeds, the minute his head hits the mattress hes awake.
DD whose 2.5 used to be the same as a baby but somehow after hours of trying we managed to get her to go to sleep on her own, she would still wake at night but go back off on her own after playing in her cot for hrs! I think somehow dh and I make our los need a cuddle to get to sleep by always doing it from birth, it just didnt seem right to put a newborn down awake but god how I wish we had.

kbaby - what is millponds?
btw i have just ordered ncss on amazon; i'll give it a go....

Happy New Year to fellow mnetters!

just to say I never minded cudling DS to sleep for as long as he needed and he generally did sleep with me but I was exhausted with the 1-2 hourly waking. I always cuddled DD to sleep until one night I could not settle he at all so I put her down for a minute to go and get something and she fell instantly asleep and never let me cuddle her to sleep again unless she was ill.
DS was getting to the stage where he wanted some space and was always pushing against me but unable to settle on his own and woke VERY regularly through the night. I never believed in leaving a baby crying and this was my best option and it worked for me. And as a result DS is a far less grizzly baby in the daytime because he was soooo knackered as he was sleeping badly day and night now he is less tired and enjoying being a baby a lot more.

Yes, I used NCSS w/ ds1 and found it very helpful. I may be doing it with ds2 as well but am giving him a bit more time still.

Now see I didnt find the NCSS any good.
cruisemum1- Millponds is a sleep consultancy in London, they have produced a book which was recommended to me by a mumsnetter. TBH it has lots of sound advice in it and it all sounds very good but then I guess all the books do. Its just putting it into practice.
However I have tried to settle DS tonight in his cot by feeding him and getting him drowsy and then laying him on his side with my hand resting on his side. He did actually fall asleep, it took 10 mins and he moaned on and off but he didnt cry. Ill hope to do the same tomorrow and just persavere with it and even though it takes longer at bedtime to settle him just hope that in the longrun it works.
Still have all the night wakings to work on though