Hi all, sorry I've been absent, combination of things including a bite on my arm which a facebook link gave me the idea was probably a spider bite 
as if I needed any more ammunition to hate the buggers 
Anyway I've been dead tired and nauseous and unable to look at screens for the last 2 days but feeling better now.
Things are going pretty well here. I know it's ridiculous to ascribe such a sudden change to a birthday but there really seems to be a marked difference to six rather than five. (touch wood) - I've actually really enjoyed the last 3 weekends since DS' birthday, spending time with him, doing things etc. We were supposed to have family visiting this weekend but they had to cancel :( Which is disappointing but we haven't spiraled into dispair
Dreaming Oh no, I hate it when that happens. Can you put it off for a week and do something nice today with DD instead to make up for it? Go to the shops and let her choose some ice cream or something?
Dizzy Hi! I think the thread is too long now to read all of it, so just jump in whenever unless you particularly feel like going back when you have time one day. I have to say I have been enjoying your thread and the reassurance that it's okay to shout sometimes I get really caught between two viewpoints a lot of the time. I actually don't think that shouting is the worst thing ever but it can be easy to slip into using it in a non-constructive way, and there are probably better things to do that are more constructive. So I'm kind of torn between, is it good enough? Is it that bad? and the idea that I should be the most perfect, best parent I absolutely can. The latest Renegade Mothering post stuck with me because of this line: I didn’t become some better version of myself, some perfect model of human just because a baby exited my body. This is the single most difficult fact of parenthood for me, and the thing that fucks with me the most. I NEED TO BE A BETTER PERSON BUT I’M NOT, not always. I wish I could make peace with that. Perhaps I need to start a thread and get some reassurance from parents who aren't into the whole self improvement thing (I love that you guys are, BTW, I just hate how we all beat ourselves up when we feel like we're not getting it 100% right).
When DS used to be horrible not very understanding to our cat, I used to take the cat away rather than him, and hold the cat on my lap so that I could basically be in control if DS came over to me and wanted to stroke the cat. Also it's important that the animal has a space to escape to. (Cat was just stubborn!) You could try posting on the dog board here although they are a bit scary! Does the dog have a crate? I think it can be a bit attention seeking as well, when you have a newborn they will do that one thing which they know immediately gets all eyes and focus on them even if it's negative attention.
Dreaming I don't think the apple core thing was a failure. Just brothers working together :) Don't sweat it. Sometimes you have to ignore stuff and pretend it didn't happen for your own sanity!
Plastic/Letsgo No book is magic. I think the buttons one is a bit of a tool in itself, it's not going to change you, it might push you to become a bit more aware of stuff, but in the end it's just a book - it can't really tell you anything you didn't know already. The single most helpful and most used tip I've got from that book so far is the notion that consistency is about what the boundary is, not how you enforce it. So you can't yell at them for jumping on the couch one day but let it go the next because you're tired. But it's okay to enforce that rule in different ways (as long as it's not manipulative/mind-game-y/mean) - one day you could take them down calmly and distract them, another day you might shout and growl threats until they comply, the important part is you never just let them jump on the sofa. You keep that boundary secure and eventually they know where it is and they don't try unless they're deliberately pushing something.
MrPop How old is your little one?