my partner smacked my dd

[majormug]

help.... the other night my partner smacked my daugter because she licked her hands after she had eaten a doughnut..... he had told her not to and told her to go wash her hands.... temptation got the better of her and she licked them. i giggled because its the sort of thing i would do. it was a smack not a tap. he isnt in my good books anyway.... long story but we havent been together long and even her daddy wouldnt smack for something so trivial. he is always getting at her.... on a recent holiday she went through a 'dribbly' phase (how else do i put it.... little accidents' he went mad... took away privaledges and i had to turn my head whilst i cried. i know that this is def NOT the way to treat her or deal with her but our relationship is very fragile...

It's frustrating, I want to do something, but I don't think anything I say or do will have any effect, she has to make the decision and do it herself.
Does that sound harsh?
It's just so hard to watch what's happening, it's heartbraking.

MMF... print this out and send to social services today!!! as you have prior knowledge of this abuse ,as do we, its on ALL of our heads....
that little girl needs to be out of that situation now really
an if your reading this... "MM"... stop recieving everyones "hugs" and "thinking of you`s" an protect your child by getting her out...now..
sorry if this seems hard but you can fuk up your life later dont fuk up your childs get some backbone......angry angry aaahhh

mmf - when did you last speak to her? Do you think she's not posting because she's embarrased she's still there when everyone here is so clearly telling her to go? Sounds as if that's the case in real life too...

MMF is it you?

Saw her a couple of days ago.
Earlybird I don't know what it is, embarrassment, denial, dunno. It's like groundhog day. She avoids seeing me I think because she doesn't want to hear what I have to say anymore.
Cowmad please don't throw the SS line at me.

what is ss line MMF?

SS= Social Services

dont stand by and watch this MMF

Cowmad there is nothing I can do but be here if/when she needs me.

not true MMF
look into yourself
dont keep telling yourself you cant do anything
you dont really think the right thing to do here is nothing
do you?
sorry if it sounds like bullying,i honestly dont want to make you feel that way...your ob` a good person but there is a right and a wrong way and your about to go the wrong way please
the child....

its you isnt it?

I understand your concern cowmad but tbh you don't know all the facts and I find the whole 'tell social services' tactic a bit heavy handed. (as an aside SS in our area are crap, uneffective, judgemental, overworked, need I go on?)
Please don't think I haven't agonised over what to do for a very long time.
Don't think I haven't said to her what everyone on here has said to her over and over.
'majormug' has plenty of help available to her when she is ready to take it.

and i didn't come on this thread to argue about what majormug should or shouldn't be doing, I came across this by accident and recognised that it was my friend & wanted to update those who were concerned about her.
I have changed my name because as she said below there are a few of us on MN in our group of friends, she obviously wants to remain anon on MN and if I used my real talkname I would risk identifying her also.

My sister was in an abusive relationship recently. Her partner would bruise her arms and drag her across the floor by her hair.
She has left him with her ds and dd. She was living in his house. She was placed in a temorary flat with local council. She is much happier.
You can do this, you can leave.

so you will continue to protect your friend mmf?
an by assosiation you will protect her partners abuse of child and mother
please read her messages again
"we are both gibbering wrecks"
"i have to turn my head"
"privelidges taken away for weting herself"
"smacked...hard... for licking donut sugar off her own hands"
"your fuck*ng daughter"
do i have to ask you again please

Cowmad please don't patronise me by quoting what I have heard in RL repeatedly.
How is this suddenly my fault? There is nothing I can do but be here when she needs me. Believe me, I have tried.
Unless you have some wonderful other suggestion that will work?

Im glad mm has someone supporting her.
I hope she soon sees sense and gets out.
Having been through similar I know how hard it is to do.

tortoise
I hope you get your babies home soon.

print this off an send to social services annonomous if you like but do name her an him
not patronising
not saying its your fault
pleading you to do right thing

I have steered clear of this thread but come on FOR FCS SAKE, this child is four years old!!!
What four year old child would not lick their hands after having a donut??

What a vile bully.

Majormug, if you have not left yet, really try and find it somewhere within you to find the courage to get yourself ( but most importantly your daughter) away from this spineless bastard.

I dont imagine for one second that it is easy - and having worked with women subject to DV - I know how hard it is to get away, but there is help out there for you.
www.womensaid.org.uk

I cannot think of anything in life that would repulse me more in seeing my Dp bully and terrorise my child.

SS will investigate, he will deny it, she will defend him.
Back to square one.

tiredemma do you know if womens aid have a helpline? Or any other similar organisation she could call anonymously?

Freephone 24 hour Domestic Violence Helpline
run in partnership between Refuge and Women's Aid
Phone: 0808 2000 247

Email: [email protected]

also look at the website, as it does not show on pc history.

you cant predict the future
they are trained to talk to children
she may not defend him
she may be gratefull
whats the worse that can happen to you?
shes avoiding you anyway!!
pleessee
shes a little girl she has rights an they are more important right now than yours hers or his...print this off give me the area Ill do it...