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Original poster

my partner smacked my dd

456 replies

majormug · 07/09/2006 23:03

help.... the other night my partner smacked my daugter because she licked her hands after she had eaten a doughnut..... he had told her not to and told her to go wash her hands.... temptation got the better of her and she licked them. i giggled because its the sort of thing i would do. it was a smack not a tap. he isnt in my good books anyway.... long story but we havent been together long and even her daddy wouldnt smack for something so trivial. he is always getting at her.... on a recent holiday she went through a 'dribbly' phase (how else do i put it.... little accidents' he went mad... took away privaledges and i had to turn my head whilst i cried. i know that this is def NOT the way to treat her or deal with her but our relationship is very fragile...

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Blu · 07/09/2006 23:26

OK - leaving while he is at work is a good plan. Don't leave anything important behind, especially paperwork, bank books etc.
Is there a freind or family nearby who will be with you?

colditz · 07/09/2006 23:27

Good, get out, please let us know when you have got you both somewhere safe, go to the library and post us a quick one.

Men like this are destroyers, I don't even think they do it on purpose, it's just all they know how to do

Original poster
majormug · 07/09/2006 23:27

i need the blatant truth with a bit of loving support. i would die to protect my daughter but have got trapped in a horrid messy pile of shit. i suffer from depression a lot.

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colditz · 07/09/2006 23:29

You will get support here. I will bow out now as I suspect I am bringing my own issues to this thread which you don't need. Good luck, you can be so strong, be strong for yourself and be strong for your daughter. You don't need that cockhead.

Original poster
majormug · 07/09/2006 23:31

i have to go.... keep this bumped everyone... i will go to my parents or have a trip to library with her.... my heart is punding and i feel sick. she is crying for my.... he just said 'oh for fs sake this is doing my head in'

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Blu · 07/09/2006 23:31

Yes, you will get support, of course you will. You and your daughter deserve it.
can you deal with the practical aspects of leaving him?

Cassoulet · 07/09/2006 23:31

Oh god you poor woman. Bullying is an appalling thing and you beccome helpless so quickly. Please do what everyone is saying here before you find that you can't. You do not need this man. You can look after yourself and your daughter and you can do it brilliantly BUT NOT LIKE THIS. It will get worse; that's guaranteed. Do not move in with him; he knows he's got a victim and he wants to hang on to you. Gather your stuff and go. Do not listen to anything he says (I love you; I'll change; it'll be different). Once you're out do not see him again. Please please please, for yourself, for your daughter, go and go now.

soapbox · 07/09/2006 23:31

Well MM - I hope that you choose to do the right thing for your dd.

How old is she? Is she old enough to remember this awful time in her life?

I think if you choose to stay with your partner you should be fair to your DD and put her into care. At least that would be a caring and much more honest thing to do.

Blu · 07/09/2006 23:31

Go to your parenyts, majorMug - good plan.

GOOD LUCK

nomarypoppins · 07/09/2006 23:32

Christ - first time posting so excuse if I am being too bluct ok.

You have to leave this bloke. Not only is he sucking your confidence out but your little girl is in danger too. easy said I know when someone has made you feel so weak but you're posting so you must know deep down he's a total twa* and you CAN and WILL do better for you and your daughter with or without a bloke.

fattiemumma · 07/09/2006 23:35

i am glad your intending to leave.

you will absolutly get all the help and support you need here.

let us know when you are out of there, make sure you wipe th history,,,i am sure some clever clogs will be able to show you how.
your depression is probaby why he feels he can get away with what he is doing. he is [reying on your vulnerabilities.

you are strong enough to show him he has picked the wrong woman.
if at any moment you panic and worry your doing the wrong thing, imagine the look pn your daughters face as he hits her....that'll get you going again.

Earlybird · 07/09/2006 23:37

YOu haven't been with him long, but say you and dd are both gibbering wrecks? Please get out. Imagine what it will be like (and the irrepairable damage that will be done to both of you) if you stay. It will be much harder to leave once you've built a life with him, and once you live together. If your self esteem is low now, it will get much lower if you stay. Leave for your own self preservation, and to protect dd. It's imperative for the emotional and physical survival of both of you - and I'm not being melodramatic.

Agree with whoever said try to get your old place back....or get another place that isn't so close to his.

Original poster
majormug · 07/09/2006 23:38

am having a nice glass of wine and doing what a friend said to do. i keep looking at him and imagining chopping his head off.... i am thinking of all the reasons why i dislike him..... he abuses my and my dd .... emotionally and to a degree physically. he is fat, hairy, older than me, has smelly feet, bad breath, is totally selfish and to cap it all is rubbish in bed. he thinks he can pull gorgeous slim blonds who ar half his age. the best bit is i have lost 2.5 stone and he hates it because i am starting to dress differently.... less baggy t shirts etc. i am also annoying him because i love the fact that my dd loves her daddy and her daddy loves her. i ring her daddy for the odd chat .... about my dd nothing else, he has a nice girlfriend who i like and am happy for her to spend time with my dd.... never thought i would say that. my dd started school this week and i have been so emotional seeing her all smart and grown up looking. i promised myself and her that when she started school life would be great.... now i have to make it!!!! i will i promise you all. going to give her a big cuddle now xx

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Original poster
majormug · 07/09/2006 23:41

my dd is 4 and i hop she never remembers this.... her daddy was abusive also. my daughter will not be put into care..... i have to go now. please keep this going. i feel like i have the backing of the nation and it really helps. thanks.

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Original poster
majormug · 07/09/2006 23:45

are you all still there........

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Cassoulet · 07/09/2006 23:48

Still here

jasper · 07/09/2006 23:52

majormug why are you with this man?

Cassoulet · 07/09/2006 23:53

Sorry. I'm still here. What do you need? He sounds so gross! Just think, if you stay with him you can look forward to helping him through those prostate problems that so many older men get! Widdling in his pants, wetting the bed, massaging his whatever when his wee gets stuck and he can't get it out etc. That idea would help me stay strong.

Original poster
majormug · 07/09/2006 23:53

i am just quickly reading all this.... i am not only interested in my own feelings.... if i was i wouldnt be here... a few of my friends use this site an my story will stand out a mile. i want people to see what a horrible abusive cycle i am caught in.... the partner smackign my dd has been the final straw..... i havent let this go on for months or anything ... he has bullied me ofr years..... but only been together a few months. i was his bit on side (story for another thread)was used for sex and every time a i have met someone new he has barged in.... turned up when at my house, sent flowers, proposed, etc etc i see all my friends happpy and i know this is wring. i am spending all my time protecting my dd .... i pray she is unaware but the smack cant be hidden and she was def subdued after. i am gathering my stuff as we speak.

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Iceorlemon · 07/09/2006 23:53

How can a grown man hit a baby of 4???? your baby??? why is he still breathing..

Original poster
majormug · 07/09/2006 23:56

ha ha cassoulet that made me smile..... i thought it was a case of i love him but i dont like him..... but i dont love him..... he doesnt make me happy..... i got chatted up by a dodgy builder the other day and it made my day.... summat wrong if a dodgy builder made my heart giggle more than my bf

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jasper · 07/09/2006 23:58

keep packing!

Original poster
majormug · 08/09/2006 00:00

he smacked.... i wouldnt say hit.... though that opens up a huge debate. he made her jump more than owt.gotta go now.... and clear cookies so he doesnt know i have been here.... not that he is bright enough to know how to check.... though my spelling on here has been terrible as i am so tired... not sleeping ..... even with medication.

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Cassoulet · 08/09/2006 00:01

Go for it, beautiful! We're all behind you.

Original poster
majormug · 08/09/2006 00:03

thanks x

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