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Original poster

my partner smacked my dd

456 replies

majormug · 07/09/2006 23:03

help.... the other night my partner smacked my daugter because she licked her hands after she had eaten a doughnut..... he had told her not to and told her to go wash her hands.... temptation got the better of her and she licked them. i giggled because its the sort of thing i would do. it was a smack not a tap. he isnt in my good books anyway.... long story but we havent been together long and even her daddy wouldnt smack for something so trivial. he is always getting at her.... on a recent holiday she went through a 'dribbly' phase (how else do i put it.... little accidents' he went mad... took away privaledges and i had to turn my head whilst i cried. i know that this is def NOT the way to treat her or deal with her but our relationship is very fragile...

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Original poster
majormug · 09/09/2006 08:47

he is at work again and i am trying to get hold of a friend to help me.... dd with her daddy today s out of the way.

OP posts:
Earlybird · 09/09/2006 08:50

Are you planning to go today? What sort of help do you want from your friend?

Original poster
majormug · 09/09/2006 08:52

just carrying stuff.... want to rub his nose in it by leaving his place fairly tidy!!!!!

OP posts:
Earlybird · 09/09/2006 08:55

I'm so glad you're taking this step. It is a huge turning point, and you'll look back on it as one of the most important decisions of your life. Good luck, and let us know how today goes.

Original poster
majormug · 09/09/2006 08:58

will try but when i go i dont have access to a computer....... so no mn. which will be hard as this ahs really helped.

OP posts:
Sandcastles · 09/09/2006 08:59

mm, get yourslefa library membership, alot of them now do free internet access!

Original poster
majormug · 09/09/2006 09:01

good idea.... just cant be there late atnight when lonely and in need of a chat!! luckily have a friend who lives in america so i can ring her when it is late and time dif means its not late there. just expensive....

OP posts:
Sandcastles · 09/09/2006 09:02

well, if you do manage to get hold of a pc, i'm in Oz so am around alot when it's late in UK. I'll kep an eye out for you. Good Luck, btw

Earlybird · 09/09/2006 09:03

I know it will be hard, but it's a small price to pay for your safety and sanity - and for protecting your dd. Just get yourself along to a library or to an internet cafe regularly (my local one is £1 for an hour online) and keep us updated. We'll keep posting for you.

jabberwocky · 09/09/2006 09:09

I have just caught up with this thread. MM, as everyone has said, you are doing the right thing by leaving. I was in an emotional abusive relationship for years, no children thank goodness, but it is incredibly hard to break away from someone like that. I just wanted to add, DO NOT leave any contact information. If you need to get in touch with him, you be the one to call and make sure he can't find you with caller ID. As you say, they turn up with flowers, etc. to try to woo you back and you have to get away from that. Especially in the early days when you may still be vulnerable.

Good luck! It's a tough thing that you are doing, but it is the right thing.

Iceorlemon · 09/09/2006 09:40

Absolutely brill good for you MM please try and let us know when your out of there All the very best xxx

divastrop · 09/09/2006 12:19

i was reading this last night and wanted to see if u had gone.i have been in a similar situation to you(although my ex was the father of one of my kids he was nasty to my older 2 and i had to go through getting him out)i know how scary it is and that u will be trying to find excuses why u cant do it even though u know u have to.
i would advise u to get as much support from friends and family as u can,even if it means crawling to them with ur tail between ur legs(i know it can be like that when family have fallen out with u over a partner)and admitting u need them,u have to do whats right for ur daughter,or u will end up losing her.
good luck

Tyedye · 09/09/2006 15:10

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Tyedye · 09/09/2006 15:10

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divastrop · 09/09/2006 15:41

its hard for those on the outside looking in to know what these type of men do to women,the manipulation etc.i was getting support from a domestic violence centre and it still took alot of strength for me to get rid,it was more complicated with him being ds2's father and we had a joint tenancy on the council house we were in so i couldnt just throw him out,i had to get a court order etc.
i was reading a thread somewhere else on here the other day,a lady who's stepfather had mis-treated her and her mother had done nothing.it was heartbreaking to read and i would be devastated if i thought my children may have reason to feel that way in years to come

Tyedye · 09/09/2006 20:22

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Tyedye · 09/09/2006 20:53

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Kelly1978 · 09/09/2006 21:13

Hi mm.

I haven't read every post but skimmed through and I did see fattiemumma referred to my post early on. I did see this then. Altough my partner isn't abusive to my children, and I am hoping soon things will be sorted you obviously don't want to go through what I am because your partner IS abusive to your child.

I also sort of have experience of what you are going through in my past. My exh never abused our children but was emotionally and physically abusive to me. Leaving him was the best thing I ever did. It is incredibly hard, and it is so easy for people with no experience to say 'why are you still sitting there?'

I had nowhere to go when I left and went to a refuge, but I got through it and was far happier as a result. Single parenthood was hard, but it is so much better than being in a relationship like you describe. I also left while exh was at work, packed all my stuff and got out. The next few weeks will be difficult, but it does get easier and you need to hold on to that thought, and the remember that you are doing the best thing for you and your child.

Good luck with it, and will be thinking of you.

Original poster
majormug · 10/09/2006 07:30

have pinched his laptop for day because i broke a key other day and need to get it fixed before he realises..... he is out at motor races for day so i can get rest of stuff out xx

OP posts:
TheBlonde · 10/09/2006 07:39

Good luck

Original poster
majormug · 10/09/2006 07:52

i actually feel a bit excited..... i have let this go on long enough to know without a doubt hat it has to end.... have ended things in past without really knowing if i was making right decision. might go to a wacky warehous.... always loads of single dads out with kids on a sunday... only jokin!

OP posts:
runkid · 10/09/2006 09:54

I wouldnt worry about the key on his laptop. Just get your daughter and yourself sorted out

PeaceAtHome · 10/09/2006 11:43

MM I agree with Runkid, just get out and stay safe. Forgive me for saying but it sounds as though keping the laptop for a day is giving you an excuse to see him when you return it. I wouldn't give him the opportunity to speak to you, it could just antagonise him. I'd just leave, now, whilst you can, and good luck.

PeachyClairHasBadHair · 10/09/2006 12:16

MM you've made the decisiona nd it IS ahrd when you've a history of depressiona nd low self esteem, you've done exactly the right thing. No woman is ever alone int his situation becasue there are plenty of organisations out there who will ehlp - Womens Aid for the accomodation / resettling, HomeStart etc once you have acually left.

You're doing the right thing in every possible way- congratul;ations and the excitement is wartranetd: you ahve a whoile happy life ahead of you both.

essbee · 10/09/2006 12:20

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