slapping or no slapping?

[Vindaloo]

I am a single mum, DD is 2 and half years now. She's a live wire and just being a normal cheeky toddler really. I have found myself slapping her on her bottom or raising my voice when trying to dicipline her. I always assumed I would be a chilled out mum, but I suppose being a single parent with DDs father choosing to play no part in her life and family living far away doesnt help. I hate it and it really upsets me and I feel so guilty and crap about slapping/shouting. I think I have some anger management issues. Any advice on what I should do? where to go for help?

jesus what a thread. this is my first look at mumsnet, what an introduction!
i am not going to comment because it looks like this thread is about to end-thank god.

normally i post on bmc, well i jsut started to this week, and we had a mumsnetter on their today so i thought i would give you a look.

will try a nicer thread tho methinks

if u want one alternative to smacking i have one. MARMITE. my boyfriends little brother now 7 went through a phase of being a right pain in the arse. he would swear in public, and did not respond to any form of punishment including smacking. one morning he said how much he hated marmite so my boyfriend said to him swear again and you will get a big spoonful of it. it took a week, but he dosnt swear no more, and has not been smacked since.

Malteser - stick to the neutral threads (get really useful information on 'products', 'recipes' 'camping' etc)

Avoid 'discussions'. Save 'philosophical' debates for your RL friends and you'll be just fine

Kittwits - FWIW, and if you are still here - I actually agree with you and think that you had tried to get your point across fairly and non-aggressively.

But this debate always gets heated no matter what "side" you are on.

Clumsymum, my son is not ill mannered and I resent that implication. He had just seen someone very big hit his best friend - wouldn't you shout if your best friend was being hit by someone 5 times their size?

I actually think he was bloody brave. How would he know he wouldn't get hit himself?

hc, you've said it in a nutshell. I was walloped by my mother (whom I love dearly but who scared me badly as a child ) and for that reason alone I struggle with the whole idea of physical punishment for children. It clearly works well for some families but the context in which smacks were administered to me means it will never work in mine. Like all parenting decisions, the baggage is what really counts.

got to custy's post and had to say:

custy laugh away, but you haven't exactly had an easy ride with your 15 year old that has grown up with your word being law have you?

the equation doesn't seem to hold really there.

i know that i will probably smack at some point, but i'm trying not to. and i know that i shout, but really don't think that i should and in fact do better as a parent (in terms of results) when i don't.