This is going to be a long post but I would be so appreciative if at least one person would read it and offer some advice.
I'll start from the very begining and try and explain everything I can so that you can see the full picture.
Ok
Dd is 2 and a bit, she'll be 3 in October. We moved house at the end of June to a new area and a bigger place also baby no.2 is due in 2 weeks time.
So yes, alot is going on atm.
Now before we moved dd was what I would call a typical 2 year old. She started potty training in January of this year, come April she was out of nappies and using the toilet. A couple of weeks after this she had started to go on her own and before we moved was happily using her stool for the toilet to get to the sink, turn on the tap and wash her hands.
Since we've moved things in the toilet dept have gradually got worse. We've gone from occasionaly wetting herself sometimes pooing herself but not fully IYSWIM to flatly refusing to go to the toilet at all.
For the last 2 days now she is refusing to have a poo. You can tell she needs it (as I'm sure all parents do). You have to have an argument involving lots of crying, screaming and shouting to get her to go up. I had to sit with her for 15 mins the other day to persuade her to have a poo. This involved lots of "Come on squeeze it out", "you'll have a poorly tummy if you don't" etc etc.
The next problem is bedtimes although I think this does seem to be getting a bit better. She always had a lamp on and some music. For the last couple of weeks we were at the old house and up until last week she was listening to the same CD which was a mixture of kids songs. The first one being Old McDonald. When she went to bed we had a right old time of it as you can imagine happens with toddlers. The classic delaying tactics, "I need a glass of water", "read me a book" etc. She was then coming out of her room 2 mins after settling hysterical because she wanted Old Mcdonald on again. One night I'd even noticed that she'd gone into the bathroom, taken out her little stool and brought it into her room so she could reach the CD player to press the repeat button and I have no idea how she knew to do that!
This all came to head last week as she was waking up in the night screaming for it on and bedtimes were becoming unbearable.
Like I said this has calmed alot now and its alot easier for her to settle and it doesn't take as long.
Now dh and I think that she has some kind of anxiety about going upstairs. We've gone from a small 2 bed house with one of those open plan staircases to a 4 bed house with a huge upstairs hallway that you have to turn round a corner on to get to the bedrooms and bathroom.
We have asked her the best ways we possibly can to a 2 year old, to see why she is behaving like she is. The replies we have had our that she is scared of bees in her room? (there was once a small fly in her room) but I don't think for a minute that bothers her.
On Thursday I made a sticker chart for her which she loved. I put 3 boxes on it; bedtimes, going to the toilet and dinners. Thursday and Friday is full of stickers, Saturday has a few and yesterday has none at all. We told her that she could go out for the day as a treat if she was good and got lots of stickers and even after her bad day on Saturday we still took her to the local play farm. Maybe looking back now that wasn't such a great idea.
I have been so so upset about it. Partly down to frustration because I know she can do it and because I know its upsetting her and she obviously is struggling with a fear or anxiety of some sort and like all of you reading this, as a parent all you want to do is make it better for them isn't it?
So what else can we do?
I just cannot and won't more to the point, sit with her in the toilet anymore. In 2 weeks time I won't be able to anyway. We need to get back to her being ok with going on her own and it not being a problem.
This obsession with Old Mcdonald song, I mean is this quite normal to want to listen to a song constantly?
I must sound so dramatic but believe me it is so awful to have to cope with this day in day out.
Any advice will be graeful or words of wisdom, even humour, anything!
We're so desperate!