Potty training.

[callie]

Iam going to try and potty train my dd who is 21mths.
Would love some advice or tips.
Did you put yours straight in pants and put them on the pot every hr or so??

I found the promise of Choc buttons worked wonders - my dd was dry within a week :-)

my dd is two and 7 months and although shes had a potty for a while hasnt seemed interested at all in it.until the week we were on holiday when she decided to tell us she needed a weewee or poopoo.as i didnt have a potty with me i just left it but as soon as we got home she saw her potty and declared she doesnt like nappies anymore and wants big girls pants.she refuses nappies full stop,ive had to go out and buy her pull ups for when we're out and about and when we're at home she runs about in pants.shes very good and sits on her potty no trouble at all but hasnt actually done anything in it yet.i bought her some fancy patterend toilet tissue to encourage her but shes become an expert on wiping a clean bottom!
my dp says just put her in nappies for a while longer but when i go anywhere near her with a proper nappy she gets very upset.
so does anyone have any ideas...im prepared and already an expert on mopping accidents off the floor and washing knickers but im sure that as soon as shes done one wee or poo in her potty she'll pick it up no trouble but its just getting there.ive also made her a star chart and resorted to bribery all to no avail so far,although she has been very good this morning and been dry so far.

Thought I would put in an update here ... we moved 4 weeks ago and so left the potty training for a bit but decided last weekend to try and crack it ...

Well, I normally find people who go on about how brilliant their own children are really boring but I have to say that I am sooooo proud of my little boy!

The first two days he was fine, very few accidents and lots of rewards, the next two days were a nightmare due to the fact that he got a bit constipated (holding on the the poo as he didn't want to do it in the potty or the toilet) but since then he has been FANTASTIC!

At home he takes himself off to the loo when he needs to and when we have been out and about as long as we know where the loo is he has been great ... he just comes and tells me that he has done a wee wee and demands his silver star on his potty chart!

The poos have been a bit of a problem as he really doesn't like it and will hold on until he has a tummy ache and then I have to catch it (I bet Madonna and Posh Spice don't have to do that!) but today he went on his own and did a poo in the toilet!!!

I am just so amazed that we have got to this point ... I really thought he would still be in nappies until he was 5! I was saying to someone the other day 'How do you get a child who wakes up one day and asks to have pants and no nappies? Do you have to eat something when you are pregnant? Is there an order form that you can fill in when you are pregnant?' - any ideas welcome ...

BUT ... we have finally got there and I am a happy mummy ...

Karennanne ... I am obviously now an expert (not!) so I would say that if she has a problem with nappies I think that you should persevere ... look at my DS - it does happen!

That's great Ghosty. If I ever have another I'll call you in as consultant potty trainer! Mine were a complete nightmare- I can still smell the faint odour of stale piss if I get too near the carpet!- and I always swoon with admiration when other kids do it quickly and without hassle. Well done you and your boy.

Scummymummy

My DD is 3 1/2 now and I'm still struggling with her. She was doing really well until she got constipated and now she seems to have wet and dirty pants all day long. I've been to the doctors with her and was prescribed suppositories as she can't take lactulose. I've used one but it didn't seem to do much (and I hated inserting it - I felt so cruel). She has asked to wear knickers today so I'm keeping my fingers crossed that they will stay clean and dry for more than an hour. She's due to go to nursery for a visit on Thursday and I'm dreading her having accidents there

This is such a long thread that I haven't had time to read through it all - so probably repeating someone's earlier postings - but here goes anyway.

Day 1 of training - ds has already shown an interest in using loo or potty - particularly at bath and bedtime. Nursery agree he's ready for it so, having primed him that we were going to try not to use nappies anymore, I present him with pair of pants this morning. First off he is adamant he doesn't want to wear pants, but then gives in. That was about an hour ago - so far we've already had three misses - and a couple of hits. Keep saying to him "do you need a wee" etc - but what is the best thing to do - should I just whack him on the potty every half hour or so? Should I just leave the heating on high and let him run around with no nicks on (he's not great at pulling clothes on and off) - what tips have people got as am a complete virgin where all this is concerned. DS is 2 years 7 months - so it really is time for him to start.

Hi Willow. ds1 is 3 and we've just about cracked it. Put him in underpants and tracky bottoms or pjs (easy to wash. ) This makes it easy to feel when a wee is coming. Don't have him naked - he won't be able to feel as uncomfortably wet - this is the key. Don't change him as soon as he's wet - give him a couple of minutes to feel uncomfy, then change. If he's naked he'll dry too fast. A friend recently shared this tip and I was struggling up until then. It really works. Ask him to do a wee every so often, but let him go to potty himself, don't wack him on. We had 6 wet pants on the trot the first morning, till he got used to it, then it was more or less OK. I found that a smartie for each wee concentrated his mind - gave him a reason to remember something so new. That only lasted 2 days - he doesn't need smarties now. People will disagree here, but it worked for me and has been soon fogotten
Let us know how you get on

Thanks Droile - but where are the rest of you? Come on - we need help here! By the end of day one we'd had so many accidents I'd given up counting - the occasional pee in the potty when I'd forced him to sit on it, but more often I'd ask if he needed to do one, he'd say no, refuse to get on the potty and then do one two seconds later. Is this normal for day one?

willow, the saying no to needing a wee, and then doing one 2 mins later describes my dd2 exactly. And I'm afraid I took the lazy route after a couple of days of no progress at all (aged 2.6 at that point) - I gave up! She wasn't trained until 3.1, and it came about because she would go to the toilet with the other children in playschool (wearing pull-up type things), and one day the sides ripped, so they put her in knickers, and we didn't look back. I suppose what I'm saying is that my philosophy with both dds was to leave it as long as possible, so that when it happened it wasn't a long and drawn out process.
Don't know if this is helpful, but I felt drawn by your heart-felt call for aid!

Hi Willow2... we started potty training at 2 yrs 7 months and gave up after 5 days ... just like your DS, MY DS just didn't get it! On the fifth day he was still saying no to a wee and then doing one in his pants or on the floor 1 minute later.

I thought that he would never be dry ... BUT ... we started again 3 months later and he was totally dry within 48 hours - really and truly! I didn't even have to ask him if he needed a wee, he just took off his pants and went to the loo ... it was astounding! That was a month ago and I am still proud as punch with him! When I say he is totally dry I mean during the days ... He wears a nappy at night of course although often he wakes at 6.30 and says he needs to go to the toilet and his nappy is totally dry!

What I am trying to say (whilst bragging about my genius son ) is ... keep going, give it a go but if you think he is not ready - despite what the nursery says - and it is all too stressful then it is ok to leave it a bit longer and try again in a couple of months - that is what we did anyway ...

Some people do say that boys take longer than girls (do not have a girl so I can not compare) and I have a friend that reckons no boy is ready before 3 ... again can't comment on that theory ...

You will get there ...

I'd agree with droile about the tracky bottoms, nothing with buttons or zips for a while. If he's not keen on pants then I would just put the trousers on him without them. Take no notice when he says he doesn't want a wee and sit him on the potty anyway, chances are he will go.If he freaks at the thought of using a potty I found that putting a nappy in it makes them feel a bit more secure,until they get into the habit . Don't know why but it's worked with 3 of mine so far!

What you describe all sounds completely normal to me though. It's just a case of reminding them all the time and taking their no with a huge pinch of salt. And give him a huge fanfare when they do go!

Willow2 - how was today? Your messages sound very stressed. I think the key to successful potty training is not getting stressed about it - I know, it's easy to say!

With my boys I just let them be naked bottom half for the first day or two (it was summer though!). They did need to do a wee up to 4 times an hour! for the first day. We gave loads of praise (stickers etc.), for every wee. The frequency soon came down dramatically, and they coped well with clothes on too.

I do think it's important to 'catch them right' when they are ready. If you're feeling desperate after 4 or 5 days, and getting stressed, and he's not making any progress, then give it a break. Mine were both only just 2, but they were ready and were basically dry straight away.

Good luck - let us know how you get on.

willow2, my childminder potty trained my son at 23 mo. in 2 days. But he was definitely ready. He had started telling us several weeks before just after he did a poo and then started telling us just before doing a poo. Her training method was to let him run around in his pants (no trousers) and put him on the toilet (no potties or even anything on the toilet to make it childsize) every 1 1/2 hours. Then the next step is for the child to start telling you when they need to go. This started happening on day 2 with my ds though usually it takes longer. I have been very dilligent about taking him to a toilet whenever he asks even if sometimes he has 2 or 3 seatings before actually doing something. And I make sure to give LOTS of praise when he does do a pee/poo. We also wave goodbye to the poo's and he always gets to flush the toilet even if there is nothing in it. I also switched to pull-ups for nighttime (and outings where there isn't likely to be a toilet handy within 5 min.). We still have accidents when he's playing hard and forgets, but generally he's pretty good. My childminder who is pretty wise about these things is adamant that it's really important that the child is ready and gives indications that he/she is before you start. Good luck.

Willow2 - If you are having lots of accidents then forget it because your ds will get sick of being asked every 5 mins if he needs a pee. The next thing you know he will be withholding poos then you are in trouble (been there with ds no.1)
As soon as ds no. 2 asked for pants at 2yrs 3months he was dry very quickly.
Ds no.3 did not show any interest until after his third birthday and was dry very quickly.
Do not stress yourself or him. Get the nappies back on if he is not showing willing.

One accident - aided and abetted by the fact that ds was at my m-i-l's for the day as we were busy decorating. Maybe it was because he didn't dare wee on the floor there, or simply that he's cottoning on, but he was still in the same clothes when I picked him up. Can only pray that he is as good for me as he was for her!

Willow2, don't know if you read my messages on here but the one that starts 'help, i'm a crap mum' seems to mirror your situation. We gave up totally and then a month or so later we tried again and she was dry within a couple of days. We haven't done nights yet, but I have learnt from the whole potty training thing and will leave it until she is completely ready.

If you are still having lots of accidents, give up and try again in a few weeks, try not to even mention it during those weeks, just go right back to nappies.

Good luck, believe me I know how frustrating it is.

I'll second that. DS was 3 in August and he's only now ready.

DS1 was not ready at 2y 6m but was cracked it in a week 2 months later. If they're not ready, they're not ready.

I'm not sure there are any easy answers to Potty Training, it's like so many other things: what works for one child will not work for the next.

I've got a question re: potty training & I'm sorry if this has been asked before, but I haven't had time to read the whole thread. I've recently starting potty training my 2.5 yr old ds and we haven't had many accidents, except that I've noticed when his undies are wet, he doesn't seem to really care. I've been letting him go around without pants for a while and this has worked ok, but when he had undies on the other day, he sat on the potty without telling me and did a wee through his undies. He was proud of himself for doing it in the potty, but then ran around in wet undies and was unfazed by it. If this is the case, I don't think it's going to be very successful right now! What should I do? I could put training pants on him when we go out, but should I just persevere with the undies while we're at home? Not sure what to do. Thanks..

Maybe not ready? Perhaps leave it a few weeks, then try again

Shattered, yes maybe he is just not ready yet, if he hasn't got the awareness of how it feels to be "wet". Talk about wet and dry, in the bath etc so he gets the idea. I would leave it for a while as droile suggests. No pressure, no worries. The more you stress about it, the more he will resist, IME.

I did hear recently that some mums had almost instant success in toilet/potty training by getting the child to teach a toy/doll/teddy to use the potty. Toy has a drink, then in a while "says" s/he need to do a wee...so your child takes him or her to the potty and shows them what to do. (You need to be ready with some water to pour in discretely!) Then when they have a success, you throw a big "party" - balloons, streamers, party food, the works. Of course, when your child has a success, you do the same, only don't go too big or they will expect it every time!

They say the fastest way to learn something is to teach someone else how to do it, so I guess this should work in theory! But only if your child is physiologically ready anyway I guess. Good luck, shattered! Let us know how things progress!

Shattered, it seems really good me that he is going in the potty even although he still has his pants on. My DS1 went about for ages with nothing on his bottom half, we found that it just took him a while to get to grips with having to take pants off first, in fact he would only use the potty if he had nothing on his bottom half, mind you this was summertime and it is chilly weather just now, I don't think I would put him back in nappies as he seems to have a good grasp of where the pees should go.

I am also in the process of potty training my son and he seems to be catching on quite well, but I am wondering about when to still use a nappy. At the moment, I still put a nappy on him at nap time and bed time, and if we go out during the day, I've been putting training pants on him (pull ups). I know that at this stage, if I took him out shopping or something with just underpants on, he'd be sure to have an accident while we were out. Is this similar to what others have done? I'm unsure about the training pants, as I think kids tend to use them as a nappy rather than having to go on the potty. At the same time, I don't think ds is ready to venture out with just undies on. Thanks for your help...