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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Excused for hitting my dd in face because she speaks limited english???

45 replies

EvesMama · 14/06/2006 13:37

Stuck a plastic plate into dd's face (edge side, so line mark there)..and when i called teacher, although will now deal with it, told me her parents say she 'does' these things because she has limited english(as in she speaks her own families language) and this is how she expresses herself!
however, she then managed perfectly well to tell a boy in the class to slap dd...WHICH HE DID!!!..across her head/face(cant really get it all out of her?)

am so shocked, that although school are great about it, her family excuse her behaviour because she doesnt speak english as well as other children.
the school has mixed racr childrenand this little girl has been going thre for 2 years! so must pick up enouhgt o get on?!

OP posts:

Iklboo · 14/06/2006 13:40

That's a pathetic excuse! Using that logic, your DD could push a plate into the other girl's face because your DD speaks limited amounts of the other girl's language.

Callisto · 14/06/2006 15:07

I would be absolutely furious about this. Poor you and your poor dd having to put up with bullying. Bad english is no excuse for anti-social behaviour imo.

nicnack2 · 14/06/2006 15:10

thats no excuse. if ur dd hit her ans said that cos she didnt understand me, i would imagine there would be repercussions

Carmenere · 14/06/2006 15:10

Oh Evesmama, I'm afraid I would be screaming blue murder about that type of attitude. Not sure what to do though.

Original poster

EvesMama · 14/06/2006 15:11

teacher was very apologetic and said she would speak to them all tomorrow but admitted this girl is renowned for it, esp nipping and scratching..god knows what she gets taught at home if this is how she gets her attention??
and to tell(easyilly enough) another child to hit my dd too..never see who drops her off tho?

OP posts:

hotmama · 14/06/2006 15:15

So if she is renown for scrathcing it's got bugger all to do with language difficlties then and is bad bahaviour that should be stopped!

coppertop · 14/06/2006 15:33

If she genuinely does these things because of her limited English then perhaps the school should be looking at other ways to help her communicate, eg signing or picture symbols.

It seems odd though that she hasn't learned much English in 2 years of school. Ds1 has 2 children in his class who didn't speak a word of English when they started school. By the end of the 1st year you would never have guessed that they'd ever had language difficulties.

I wonder if something else is going on. Some kind of SN perhaps?

Original poster

EvesMama · 14/06/2006 15:34

apparently its her wy of getting her point across..the teacher sceptically told me..said shes been told she does it out of frustration when she cant be heard???

but my dd was happily playing in the home corner when she came up and did it??
i asked in a million ways to try ad get it out of her, why she did it and she just said she put her blue plate on my green plate, then picked it back up and pushed it into my face??..im getting more horrified by it now..dd ok, but i dont like this kind of thing no matter what language she speaks

OP posts:

Original poster

EvesMama · 14/06/2006 15:36

not sn as far as im aware as teacher mentioned her to me when dd first started and thats al she said, she has limited english?..i think her parents only talk to her in thier own language at home..but thats only a whisper i heard so cant go by that?

OP posts:

coppertop · 14/06/2006 15:37

The school should definitely be doing something to protect the other children.

Original poster

EvesMama · 14/06/2006 15:39

well teacher said she has spoken to parent already reg other instances and will be speaking to them again( i take it it is not just once or twice?)and shes asked if she can speak to me again in morn about it..i dont know, i was upset, but not overly at first, now im getting v.concerned esp as she orders the other children to do things and they do it??

OP posts:

GDG · 14/06/2006 15:40

I'd be fuming and I wouldn't take that as an excuse - in fact, there just is no excuse for that behaviour at all. What a lame, lame way of trying to explain it.

GDG · 14/06/2006 15:42

Also surprised if she hasn't picked up much English in 2 yrs. Ds1's friend is Mexican and they only speak Spanish at home - he is only 5 now and his English is perfect (dead cute cos ds1 tells him how to say some things in English and he tells ds1 how to say them in Spanish).

Original poster

EvesMama · 14/06/2006 15:48

i know, i thought it strange the only thing ive ever heard her saying is two when she showed me the number on one of thier story books? and even then the rest of her words where unrecognisable to me?..dont know the story so cant shed any more light on that

OP posts:

peachyClair · 14/06/2006 16:30

NEVER an excuse for bad behaviour but kids Do react like this in frustration with communication difficulties- that's why Sam does it, or at least a big part of it.

however, a kid that age A0 who can tell another child to hit and B) has been learning two years, given the ability of children to pick up a second language at that age- there's far more to it than that. Either she is being very naughty, her parents have taught her to use it as an excuse by letting her get away with it (my guess), or there's something else going on. But its not OK for ANY child to hit.

beansontoast · 14/06/2006 16:47

it does look like that child may have some language learning difficulties if after two whole years [?]she hasnt learned english in a school environment...not a consolation i know!...but you might want to say it to the teacher hwo could then refer her to Speech and Language therapy services...

EAL and language learning difficulties may be difficult for the teacher to differentiate between...for whatever reason.

hth...of course Evesmama, i would be very upset by this myself had it been my daughter

peachyClair · 14/06/2006 16:51

Yes I agree, this girl could well do with an assessment by SALT- we love it when parents complain about things Sam does as it reinforces our need for help, however some parents aren't so proactive so if you suggested a referral to the teacher, you may be doing the girl a favour. Either there is no issue, in which case fine and emphasize the behavioural stuff, or there is and thank goodness she can get help now.

southeastastra · 14/06/2006 17:06

how old is this girl? (sorry if missed it)

Original poster

EvesMama · 14/06/2006 17:08

well she'll be going up to reception i sept so she msut be 5 very shortly and has been going there since 3rd birthday.

OP posts:

Original poster

EvesMama · 14/06/2006 17:10

so i should request that she be 'seen' by someone?..would feel very cheeky sayingthat..but then i woudnt wantthis to carry on so..

OP posts:

peachyClair · 14/06/2006 17:13

seen by someone soounds a bit accusatory, perhaps you can use an example- feel free to use my son- we only started to get intrest in his Aspergers Syndrome when a SALT check showed he was 3 emotionally, 10 bverbally (6 actually).

he also hits out in frustration.

So perhaps, I did hear that frustration can cause aggression, there was this woman I know of, her son was like that. Mind you, he was refereed to SALT and they found he had speical needs.

southeastastra · 14/06/2006 17:16

my son is 4 and hits/bites at school. im at my wits end with it and really trying to deal with it. he does it when he gets frustrated and cant get his point across. i agree that of course children should not hit out but speaking as someone who has tried everything it is very hard. she is after all just 4

southeastastra · 14/06/2006 17:18

peachyclair sorry don't know anything about your situation. how old is your son

peachyClair · 14/06/2006 17:27

he's six SEA, but don't know why you are apologising?????

southeastastra · 14/06/2006 17:34

i suppose im confused about my sons situation, is hitting etc normal behaviour for a 4year old boy? my son has an iep and sees a speech therapist but hasnt been diagnosed as anything. to be honest the whole situation is confusing to me.

I was apologising because im all over the place.

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