Excused for hitting my dd in face because she speaks limited english???

[EvesMama]

Stuck a plastic plate into dd's face (edge side, so line mark there)..and when i called teacher, although will now deal with it, told me her parents say she 'does' these things because she has limited english(as in she speaks her own families language) and this is how she expresses herself!
however, she then managed perfectly well to tell a boy in the class to slap dd...WHICH HE DID!!!..across her head/face(cant really get it all out of her?)

am so shocked, that although school are great about it, her family excuse her behaviour because she doesnt speak english as well as other children.
the school has mixed racr childrenand this little girl has been going thre for 2 years! so must pick up enouhgt o get on?!

def something amiss if she's been in school for 2 zears and can't speak english. irrispective of language spoken at home.

and no excuse for hitting ffs. and people just accepting it

sea, yes its normal but if you have tried everything and then it still continues its worth seeing a developmental paediatrician (GP referral). My 5 year old also does it, but there's a tangible diffrence: he knows he is doing wrong and you can see him getting angry- Sam just goes. Does that make sense?

think so, do you mean he just gets agressive for no reason?

Yes, a few weeks ago it was a bank holiday and it upset his rouutine which puts him into one anyway. He walked past his brother (and they should have been calm, they ahd duvets and were watching Winnie the Pooh on video) and snap- kicked him in the eye, spent all night at A&E. huge black eye, had to be X rayed but fortunatley no broken bones / concussion.

fairly stereotypical Sam behaviour, although hospital unusual (but not unheard of)

i will have a google on aspergers, thank you pc.

the girl seems otherwise rather bright and is always interacting with others, seems very chatty in her own language/way?

dp very p**d off at teachers not noticing it had happend..wanted to know if she was upset, which she wasnt really..but am def gunna have to express our unhappiness in morning..i took it with pinch of salt at first..kids playing rough and all that cos im over protective anyway, didnt want to jump tp wrong conclusion..but it seems this time it may be the right one..thanks you lot
x

If she's been in a english speaking school, for 2 years she should be pretty fluent in English.

Are you sure the teacher didn;t mean she has a language disorder (in which case the behaviour is still unacceptable but a whole different approach needs to be taken if you want the behaviour to stop).

teachers words where..she has limited english..?
and when ive spokent o her, her accent is strong and pronunciation of words are very poor(dont want to say, cos i dont know where they are actually from but she is asian..either indian..yes indian if i think about it)

think ill have to ask withou being nosy about her speach difficulties, incase she cares to lash out at my dd agin!

perhaps in a nice way find out if the teachers treat her the same as they would a white child in the same circs they may using her ethnicity as an excuse not to to address her real needs - this may not be in an overt and nasty way it just may be they have nott fully considered all aspects because of a lack of knowledge

god..what do i say? i could end up sounding so racit or predjudice here!
what is the best thing to ask/say about this child?

The school won't tell you much (they shouldn't), but I think it is reasonable to ask what they are doing to manage her behaviour.

EAL and language learning difficulties may be difficult for the teacher to differentiate between...for whatever reason.

it be might appropriate to approach the SENCO...explain the situtaion... and say that you have spoken to the class teacher who gave ''limited english'' as the reason for the behaviour.

you can then request that this childs communication difficulties addressed.(id hope)

hth

(ps i dont have school age kids)

hi..right spoke to teacher this morning..the girl is due to go up in sept but will be going jan next yeasr because of her probs..she has actually only been at this school since november (9 months)and teacher said that although she can speak english and knows lots of words, she seems to have problems putting them into sentences.
She doesnt have any form of disability, just poor communication which is not helped by her family speaking their native language and confusing her by doing this while expecting her to get on in an english school?
she came over to dd today as said 'hello Eve' and dd scowled at her and said thats xxxxx who jammed the plate in my cheek...teacher was straight in, got dd and girl into the home corner where it happend and asked xxxx what she did to dd yesterday??..she said she didnt know, teacher held up plate and said what did you do with this??..she hung her head!..teacher asked her what she needed to say to dd?..she said she didnt know?!!..i am seriously feeling sorry for this child!..teacher sid she needed to say sorry, which she did them in a very firm and plain but child friendly way...bollocked her!..she told her she must never ever again pull/push/twist/nip or hit any other children(other mums told me before school this has happend before!)
and that only nice children who are kind to eachother go to this school..so on and so forth..she was great and said she would also speak to other boy when he arrived.
teacher told dd that if anyone ever upsets or hurts her she must tell them straight away and for being brave and sensible she will get a sweety as no one should ever be hurt or upset whilst at school..dd said she would.

very happy with the way it was dealt with..dd told me that today xxxx(same girl) had tried to snatch something of her and went to hit her with it!!!!!!! and teacher stepped in straight away and this girl had time out!

lets hope she understood her 'bollocking'

im glad you feel something has been done to protect you dd

no probs today
she has a sibling on the way and teacher seemed to think as an only child this was also affecting her?
i told teacher that i thought maybe the pushing pulling manner was something she learnt from home and how her family behave and she just gave me a knowing look!

wish i could tell off like teacher!..all i know is shout or talk..she did telling of in higher but nice voice??eh??

Sorry, but why would you assume the pushing and pulling is something she learns at home? Could it not be that, like Southeastastra's and Peachyclair's children, her parents have tried everything they can?
Plenty of children in the UK only speak their native language at home and learn English at school. It's really the only way to make your children bilingual. I know Asian parents who have tried to speak to their children in English at home, with the result that the children completely forget their native language and end up being monolingual.

I can see that you are upset about your daughter being hit, and the child in question probably has a problem ( i suspect its the new sibling) but your assumptions seem pretty strange to me.

Glad it worked out ok for you, hope the teacher does keep an eye on things in the future. TBH I would have taken dd out of the school immediately, if something like that happened even once. Good luck with it!

Agree with stiffupperlip that language issues are not necessarily a factor. Plenty of children who speak little English due to speaking native language at home have no behaviour problems and settle in to school/nursery quite well.

sorry stiffupperlip, but those are my opinions and seemed reasonable when i voiced them to the teacher.
i meant that her behaviour, her desperate need to be understood and to do whatever means neccesary to get this attention, to me seemed like something learned.
i didnt neccesarilly mean pushing plates into my dd's face(however, i think after that i am entitled to search for an explanation!?), i meant her pulling, nipping and twisting of the other children, just when she wasnt something or wants to tell them something.
i have already discovered and said here, that she does not have any recognised special needs, so i am not offending anyone whos children may have and may do this as a result of them.

my understanding from school is this:-

this child hits, scratches, twists arms, nips and now pushes things in other childrens faces, to get her point across.

she has no special needs that the school/parents are aware of therefor, my opinion of her given this information is justified.

she did something similar again the following day

i know that saadia..it the school/parents that are hiding behind the 'Limited English' quote as to why she does this reg her behavoiour..not me.