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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

How to tackle the presence of a computer in my DS's nursery room and its affect on DS?

159 replies

catchafox · 08/08/2013 09:16

My DS is 2.6. We don't let him use the computer at home. We don't have an Ipad. He watches one or two short (10 min DVDs) at home every other day. I love computers and technology - I just don't want him becoming stuck on them too early.

In his nursery - which is wonderful, and we are v v happy with it - where he is 2 x a week, there is a computer in his room. I assume it's part of the Early Years programme. They show various programmes/educational stuff. They do lots of stuff with the kids, so I know it's not on all the time.

The other day we were told when we picked him up that he was very keen to get on it. They insisted he was only for five minutes (at a time?) and others wanted it, so they took turns. I made it really clear to the key worker that it's the last thing I want him to do while there. She really understood.

Today my DH dropped him off and he went straight to the computer.

I understand this is not everyone's bug bear, but this really concerns me.

I know I have to trust that the nursery hear my views but do I speak to them further about it? Ask them their policy on how long its on for? What we do about him if he is really grabby for it?

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fluffyanimal · 08/08/2013 09:21

I think you are seeing a computer as something inherently dodgy, rather than what it actually is - a tool - no different from a CD player or a paint box or a black board. They will only be doing fun educational things on the PC in a nursery setting. The fact your DS is keen to use it may just show that he's keen to learn something and that way of learning appeals to him. And maybe if you were more relaxed about it at home, it wouldn't seem like such a desirable novelty!

ubik · 08/08/2013 09:21

I'm sure the nursery regulates computer use as they will have a full programme if activities each day. You could say to them that you don't want him on it every day, I'm sure they could accommodate that.

Can I ask why you are so concerned about him using a computer? My three year old loves touch screen technology, but not st the expense of other things, we restrict her time on it but I just think if it as another nice thing to do - like TV or painting or playing games.

Original poster

catchafox · 08/08/2013 09:23

I absolutely agree that it is probably a desirable novelty because we limit it at home - but I don't agree that it is the same as a paint box or a blackboard. You don't get to see the consequences of your actions in the same way when you use a computer to learn in the way you do if you're using your hands. Montessori has it right in this respect (but I'm not a huge fan of all the practice).

OP posts:

noblegiraffe · 08/08/2013 09:25

You're a bit behind the times, a computer is an excellent learning tool, and very different to watching TV, which is passive. A good nursery will make sure he's not on it all the time.

fluffyanimal · 08/08/2013 09:28

I don't quite get you - how do you not see the consequences of your actions? You make a mouse move something around the screen. You press keys and something happens.

DefiniteMaybe · 08/08/2013 09:29

I think you're worrying about something that your ds needs to know how to use. Learning to use a computer is as necessary as learning to read imo.

Original poster

catchafox · 08/08/2013 09:31

I work in technology, I'm so not behind the times! I just think that he's too young. It's habit forming. Surely, I can't be alone in that?!

OP posts:

fluffyanimal · 08/08/2013 09:37

This is a computer we are talking about, not alcohol. It's a tool.

ubik · 08/08/2013 09:38

I'm not saying that painting and using a computer are the same thing but that they are part of a balanced curriculum at nursery.

All my children use educational websites:Poisson Rouge, Friv, and some games require logic and team work to complete, and they absolutely love it.

But the bottom line is you are in control - my children know that when I say '5 mins left' then I mean it and there's no point having a tantrum.

If you don't want him on the computer at home- then don't let him!

VinegarDrinker · 08/08/2013 09:41

I am with you, OP. One of the things that attracted us to DS's nursery was that the only "criticism" by Ofsted was a lack of computers/electronic toys. To us that was a plus!

Just after he started, there was a discussion about whether they should buy an iPad for nursery. (It's parent run so we get to decide these things). It was a universal no!

He plays on my phone for 5 mins a day sometimes when I am feeding DD (watching videos of himself mostly!), and sometimes likes to spend a few minutes "doing his work" on the laptop (word processor) so he is not being deprived of access to technology, I just think there are a million more interesting things that he could be doing at nursery that he can't/doesn't necessarily do at home.

However since yours already have the computer I would rely on them to ration it and hope the novelty wears off soon.

noblegiraffe · 08/08/2013 09:41

Technology is a tool, and a very useful one. My DS (3) has learned loads about the solar system, seen how the earth, sun and moon interact etc from a wonderful app called Solarwalk, an interactive solar system on the iPad. There is no way that this learning could be replicated with a book or even video.
Educational apps help him form his letters correctly, and practise number work.

Habit forming? It's not exactly a waste of his time!

VinegarDrinker · 08/08/2013 09:43

If computers just like blackboards why are there so many threads on MN about having to restrict them/fights over them/kids being obsessed by them? Never seen a post saying "really worried about the amount of time DC spend chalking on their blackboard"!

VinegarDrinker · 08/08/2013 09:44

There is obviously an "are" missing in my first sentence!

duchesse · 08/08/2013 09:45

I completely agree with you OP.

FWIW, DH and I work on computers all the time, the older DC use computers all the time (very competently) and we still think that computers for very small children is a stupid idea. We are deliberately choosing to send DD3 to a school that does not have them, as we did with the older DC until they were 11-12.

noblegiraffe · 08/08/2013 09:46

Because blackboards are boring after a while. An iPad can be a blackboard, but also a million other things.

NomDeClavier · 08/08/2013 09:46

Your DS has the possibility to access technology at home if you choose to let him but you've made a conscious choice, at home, to limit that. Presumably when the time comes that he will be expected to start basic ICT skills at school you will teach him and support him in that. That's your family situation.

Some families don't have a computer. Some parents aren't computer savvy to the point of not knowing how to use MS word. Those children will be seriously disadvantaged if they don't have access to something with increasing importance in our society. So the nursery has computers for equality of access and so children can meet specific early learning goals.

They're keeping you informed of what he's doing on it and you know they're limiting his access. What more can you reasonably expect them to do?

Original poster

catchafox · 08/08/2013 09:46

I don't need to be patronised; I'm aware that the computer is a tool and that it suits a brilliant purpose.

But the screen, and kids love of screens, is habit forming. I'm sorry but I really think it is.

And while I can totally see the benefits in the future, my concern is that right now I want his learning to be as experiential as possible, and i don't see computers and their educational packages as fulfilling that criteria.

Obviously, I realise that not everyone shares my views - and that's totally fine. We all parent differently.

I was really just looking for suggestions regarding handling the situation at the nursery - where I am not there, and in control - and I think, as one poster says I have to trust them.

OP posts:

colditz · 08/08/2013 09:48

Would you stop himlearning French? How about limiting the number he's allowed to count up to?

He will be at an educational DISADVANTAGE if you don't allow him to use a computer. It would be like sending a child to school unable to hold a crayon, it's just not acceptable at all.

noblegiraffe · 08/08/2013 09:48

One thing I've come to realise as a teacher is that people can work on a computer all day and still be utterly blind as to their potential.

Original poster

catchafox · 08/08/2013 09:49

Colditz - that's just a ridiculous response.

He's 2.6 - that's my point! 2.6. 2.6. 2.6!

Honestly, get some perspective. He doesn't even know what French is.

OP posts:

juule · 08/08/2013 09:49

You work in technology and you are concerned about your ds having access to computers? Why? Wouldn't it be a good thing for him to become proficient with the tools of this century? If you had lived in times past when books were the latest thing, would you have prevented him from reading as it could be addictive?
I have found it amazing how quickly my children were able to find their way around a pc from a very young age.
I doubt that the nursery are letting the children sit at computers for the majority of the day. I can't see how letting them 'play' on computers at that age isn't a good thing.

colditz · 08/08/2013 09:49

Ever since my son learned to ride a bike, he's been badgering to go out in his bike, all he wants to do is ride a bike.

I think it must be habit forming, so I'm goingto limit him to five minutes a day.

colditz · 08/08/2013 09:50

Yeah .... Both my kids knew what french, counting and computers were when they were two and a half. Maybe he could do with some new experiences?

VinegarDrinker · 08/08/2013 09:53

colditz - again, not many threads on MN despairing their DC's obsession with bike riding, are there?

The point that they are more fun than a blackboard is precisely why many parents seem to struggle to persuade their kids to do anything else.

At 2 they are not being educationally disadvantaged FGS.

VinegarDrinker · 08/08/2013 09:55

(If we're showing off, DS is 2y5m, counts to 100, has a huge vocabulary, knows the phonic alphabet and can blend them to read simple words, knows tons about science etc. And he has never seen an iPad...)

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