How to tackle the presence of a computer in my DS's nursery room and its affect on DS?

[catchafox]

My DS is 2.6. We don't let him use the computer at home. We don't have an Ipad. He watches one or two short (10 min DVDs) at home every other day. I love computers and technology - I just don't want him becoming stuck on them too early.

In his nursery - which is wonderful, and we are v v happy with it - where he is 2 x a week, there is a computer in his room. I assume it's part of the Early Years programme. They show various programmes/educational stuff. They do lots of stuff with the kids, so I know it's not on all the time.

The other day we were told when we picked him up that he was very keen to get on it. They insisted he was only for five minutes (at a time?) and others wanted it, so they took turns. I made it really clear to the key worker that it's the last thing I want him to do while there. She really understood.

Today my DH dropped him off and he went straight to the computer.

I understand this is not everyone's bug bear, but this really concerns me.

I know I have to trust that the nursery hear my views but do I speak to them further about it? Ask them their policy on how long its on for? What we do about him if he is really grabby for it?

But cyber is now part of the real world. There is no denying that!

Yes but so are writing and number and we don't expect two year olds to do these at the same level of a five or a seven year old. We don't expect them to drive real machinery, to cook independently, to use vacuums etc. The phone is perhaps the best example. Nearly all young children will play phone but we don't need them to dial real numbers and carry through whole phone calls for them to benefit from this play. It would be just as valuable and perhaps more so to play with a toy ipad that really doesn't do very much at all and imagine the wonderful apps on it rather than have all singing all dancing popping reward based apps.

My nearly four year old has a great time with a Numberjacks app. He also likes looking at letters and numbers and other academicy stuff and has already developed a beginning distinction between real/pretend. I think technology is fun and educational for him.

My one year old or any under three doesn't need this stuff. I can't see much benefit though in moderation it probably isn't harmful. I still think we need to be cautious about a situation in which the real world becomes boring in comparison to a virtual one. That's a challenge for us all in this day and age and far, far too many people have antisocial and addictive computing habits. Been there done that myself and I got rid of my smartphone to stop the endless repetitive checking of social media.

Caution is advisable I reckon when it comes to the very young.

We don't hide them from numbers and letters though and neither should we hide them from technology.

As with anything habit forming or potentially addictive, as I agree screens can be, the best way to handle it is not to ban it altogether but to teach the child/person how to handle the thing responsibly and learn how to be disciplined in their approach to it. You've done exactly the right thing, OP, you've asked the nursery to limit his time on it, they are going to do so. Your DS will hopefully learn that the computer is a fun thing among many other fun things and he will turn into a balanced young person with healthy attitudes.

It isn't hiding them from it to suggest under three they don't actually need to go on a computer at all. It's this idea they have to be playing apps and using a keyboard and a mouse etc that makes no sense. If they see an adult use a computer (which they will, even in community e.g.in banks or accompnnying their parents while bvying an insurance policy or a store card or watching their parents pay bills or shop online) that is really ample learning. They really do not need a shiny poppy toddler app with spinning animals, crackling noises, nursery rhymes, fireworks, multiple repetitions of the same stimuli etc under three and I'm not sure why or how most of these reward based educational games are seen as being any different to shiny stickers. The idea they are the pathway to future earning power etc is just rubbish.

catchafox

Im with you on this. My son,5.5, has just had his first homework assignment and it is to look up something on the net. We are concerned about the increasing use of IT in school for a number of reasons. Not everyone has access to the net at home and in the rural area we live in there are no libraries we can easily get to. As for educational apps, all my son talks about is a game called Tunnel Run which he seems to play a lot of at school. I am no Luddite, I teach IT to Adults, and I also teach Literacy and since I have started teaching Literacy I have come across a vast range of young people who have used IT at school whose reading and writing skills are diabolical. They may well be able to use excel or word but surely nobody can argue that reading and writing skills are not important?
I recently read a report by an emminent computer scientist who stated that the ability to use a PC is useful but without the core 3 r's people will never be able to learn to write software, handle complex networking tasks or be able to deal with the infrastructure that is neccesary to run complex IT sysems. We have a lack of such qualified people in this country and are having to bring people in from other countries who are still taught the traditional skills which are the building blocks I feel are needed.
Computers are a tool that are useful but surely we must ensure that young people have the skills needed to be able to work with infrastructure and write software and this is not being taught at school.
People can learn how to use a PC at any age, I have a class of retired folk doing this at the moment. Using Word and spellchecking does not Teach anyhing in my experience. I have another group of under 25's who had never seen a dictionary before. Surely thats not right. We already see Teachers who cannot spell properly in our local schools, how does that help our young people?

Oh I forgot. My local Comprehensive wants to be paper free by 2015. What if you cannot afford a smartphone or laptop or iPad? Will the goverment be supplying these to all students when they start school? Are we just expanding the ways we exclude people in society?

I am so sorry for the long post but I think this may help (I hope).

Bold: I think the question would've been better phrased as something similar to this -

"There is an activity (which my son can do at any time) at my son's nursery which I don't want him to do. I have raised my concerns with the nursery but they will continue to allow the activity to be done by the children as this activity is limited to 5mins (due to popularity). I am still unhappy with this but would welcome your views on how to handle the situation."

I think you are generally voicing a concern about any activity which a parent might disagree with (due to their own beliefs/religion/experiences/etc) but the nursery (and maybe society in general) think is ok.

Another example of an activity where people might not want in their nursery is the watching of tv. I know parents who don't have tv so they feel as strongly as you when they are told their child has 'watched X program' despite it's educational value.

Bold: In answer to your question.

As other posters have said. There are some activities in a nursery (schools, universities, etc) environment which we may disagree with but decide that these are not as important as the other aspects of the programs/facilities offered and therefore continue to allow our DC to go there. You mentioned earlier that Monisory nurseries often don't have computers but you chose not to go there due to other reasons.

I guess you have to think /put yourself in the shoes of the nursery staff. How are they going to monitor your son? If you demand that he doesn't use the 'activity' how is he going to feel? How would they stop him from doing that 'activity'? How would stopping him affect the other children?

I would like to point out that pc's in schools, nurseries, etc are 'closed environments' i.e. rarely open to the internet and have limited programs which have been approved by several committies/government bodies/etc.

I think if you are still concerned can I suggest that you ask what programs the children have available. That way you could view/play these to see what the educational component is. If you still think one is detremental in any way you could then explain this and they may pass on your concerns to the selection groups even if they don't change the program to another more suitable one (in your view).

Generally a nursery has a set program of

• children arriving and settling in
• breakfast (if they arrive that early)
• scheduled activities (usually stories, interactive group things)
• snack time
• scheduled activities (usually stories, interactive group things)
• outside play
• lunch time
• scheduled activities (usually stories, interactive group things)
• outside play (some do several activities outside depending on weather, etc)
• snack time
• scheduled activities (usually stories, interactive group things)
• parent picking up kids
• evening meal (if they stay that long)

Usually the few minutes between schedule acitivities and/or meal breaks the children have free play.

For example if your son is a quick eater he may finishh before the others so the staff may allow him to quietly play at an activity he chooses. if he chooses the computer so be it as long as he is quiet. This is obviously limited as children may finish before him and be on the pc so he cant use it so he chooses another activity.

Overall, I do think the nursery staff would be correct in their belief that your son would have only a minimal time to use a computer.

Sorry my post was long but I thought I'd try to be balanced and only address your concern that there is an activity you are questioning and your need for options to deal with the situation.

I think your options are limited to

• removal of your son from the nursery with the pc
• placing your son in another nursery which doesn't have pc's
• home schooling (this depends on your circumstances)
• staying at nursery and accepting this practice
• trying to lobby the removal of the pc (this may be opposed with equal conviction from other parents/staff)
• demanding your son's removal from this activity (this may not be practical)

Obviously, all of these (there are probably more options but I cant think of them at this moment) have knock on effects which you may decide are/n't acceptable.

As a parent we will have more of these types of decisions as our children grow older.

Good luck