How to tackle the presence of a computer in my DS's nursery room and its affect on DS?

[catchafox]

My DS is 2.6. We don't let him use the computer at home. We don't have an Ipad. He watches one or two short (10 min DVDs) at home every other day. I love computers and technology - I just don't want him becoming stuck on them too early.

In his nursery - which is wonderful, and we are v v happy with it - where he is 2 x a week, there is a computer in his room. I assume it's part of the Early Years programme. They show various programmes/educational stuff. They do lots of stuff with the kids, so I know it's not on all the time.

The other day we were told when we picked him up that he was very keen to get on it. They insisted he was only for five minutes (at a time?) and others wanted it, so they took turns. I made it really clear to the key worker that it's the last thing I want him to do while there. She really understood.

Today my DH dropped him off and he went straight to the computer.

I understand this is not everyone's bug bear, but this really concerns me.

I know I have to trust that the nursery hear my views but do I speak to them further about it? Ask them their policy on how long its on for? What we do about him if he is really grabby for it?

yes I agree with who ever said about parents being in control.

I control what my DS has access to and where appropriate I give him choices within that.

in this day and age where technology is in use all day everyday i think that for a nursery to have a computer isn't the end of the world.

my dd's pre school doesn't have one and that was one of the reasons i like it, but i wouldn't get upset if they did get one.

dd uses the tablet once or twice a week, and we've added apps on there where they are educational games (dd has a tell the time game where she has to set the clock to the time it tells you) , you can easily give them the chance to use technology and learning something from it.

What will you do when they start school, they will be using computers then. let them use it when you are around least you can see what teir doing before they go and do it without you knowing and find something they shouldn't be looking at

Hiding to nothing.
Ofsted will mark them down if they don't have one there.
Most nurseries have a system for sharing, lots of children like a bit of screen time. Sharing & self-moderation are skills they need to have practice at to do well.
Asking about how they keep it moderate is reasonable.

My nephew was 9 or 10yo before he was allowed to watch live broadcast TV, and then only certain sport (sigh).

VinegarDrinker Thu 08-Aug-13 09:43:34
"If computers just like blackboards why are there so many threads on MN about having to restrict them/fights over them/kids being obsessed by them? Never seen a post saying "really worried about the amount of time DC spend chalking on their blackboard"!"

Books, what about books? Have long been known to be habit forming, so why don't you ever hear mums agonising about them?

No doubt because we have been told that having a child addicted to reading books is a sign of parental success. So we wouldn't dream of wailing about it- unless we are posting hidden boast threads. We preen ourselves on the fact that our dc have to be torn away from their books, but feel we have failed if they show the same dedication to a screen.

Go back 3 or 4 generations otoh and you will find that this was something people did worry about- at least in farming and working class families.

If you really want to save your child from addiction, I suggest you don't let him learn to read.

Nursery is probably the best place for him to have some access to a computer by virtue of the fact that his time will be limited by the number other children and it's use will be tied to the early years curriculum.

YY. I totally agree with this.

I understand that you want to limit screen-time. Fair enough. But it is going to be limited at nursery, not least by the fact that he's only there twice a week and by the fact that you've already made your concerns felt. I'm not sure what else you expect nusery to do about it?

I think this is something we should be alert to because screens are now designed to encourage compulsive use - look at how many adults have an antisocial iPhone habit.

I work in schools quite often and find it quite noticeable how screens drag their attention from other things - open a laptop and you've often got a crowd of kids clamouring to see what's on it. It's often impossible to continue another activity once there is a screen to watch.

I agree that part of children's learning needs to be the ability to filter this - but let's not be naive, screen time is designed to be addictive. I think we should be alert to kids showing signs of compulsion around screens.

Slightly off the point, but my DSs have always had limited access to computer and iPad and have imo a fairly balanced view of them...but my DS aged 8 was slightly trautamtised recently when he opened the iPad up and found it on a mumsnet page about some sex problem...my fault totally. That wouldn't have happened at nursery.

Isn't it likely that your DS headed straight for the computer because it is new, exciting and something he doesn't have at home? If there had been a real pony, a huge paddling pool full of glitter or a sit in car that actually has an engine in it, he may well have headed for those as they are a novelty and thus exciting.

This is an area of interest to me, and one I am looking into for my dissertation. There is a lot of research coming out now to suggest that some use of technology from a young age has a positive impact for preschool aged children. There are certainly educational benefits to be gained from using appropriate technology.

It is like anything else and it's about moderation. 5 minutes here or there isn't going to cause any problems and could well be beneficial. Spending all day sat at a computer would be problematic but that's not what is happening.

Children are exposed to technology from such a young age I think trying to stop them using it is a pointless battle and own that isn't needed. Much better to encourage a healthy relationship with things done in a sensible balanced way

When my DS was at nursery I was shocked at first to see they used a computer. But he was my first and I soon rationalised that I was behind the times and that they need to use computers in some form to comply with the Early Years Foundation. My DS has quite an obsessive personality and would have been transfixed what it was so I was never worried about the effect it had, as I trusted nursery to use it in moderation. The only trouble they had with him was him sharing and not always wanting to come off it, but as I said before he has that personality (I blame dh!). Now he's at the end of his reception year, he uses it at school and they were quite shocked when we said he didn't have it at home at all. Quite rightly they pointed out it was an educational tool and as long as it was used in moderation it would be fine. Now he's 5.5 we use a reward system and every 5 stickers he can have my laptop or his Leap Pad for a set amount of time. I've not let him get his paws on my ipad yet though!

Your DS will come across things that you're not 100% happy with but you need to trust nursery to use their experience to give ALL the children in their care the best foundation for their education and as you know from your career that is now computers.

If he becomes obsessive by it then its an opportunity to teach him a new skill; that of understanding he can use certain things in certain settings. And if that means no computer in your home then so be it.

MrsHercule - that's a very interesting point about restricting screen time and Internet secrecy.

You have a few choices, you could change your ds's childcare provider to one where there is no access to a computer, you could ask your dc's carer to limit his use ( thereby making him different to the other children in his group and possible making the computer seem more exciting and desirable than it already is) or you could just let go and resign yourself to not being in control whilst your dc is at daycare.

The childcare we have chosen for ds purposefully has no electronic toys or computers, I can see that there is no need for w 2 year old to use digital technology but if I had the choice of either taking ds away from a setting where he was happy or making him different from his friends or letting my no digital technology as a toddler ideal go then I'd let the no digital technology ideal go.

5 minutes use a few times a week is such a tiny percentage of your dc's life.

IF he was playing call of duty I might worry

But our children are growing up in a world of technology an the ability to use it instinctively will get them far. I don't understand why people seem to be so scared of children using or knowing about technology. Like it or not that is our world now and ignoring it will not make it easier for children in the long run or make it go away.

My DS is not quite 2 and he can already 'wake up' an iPad, swipe the pages and find he app he wants. He doesn't sit on it all day but plays with it like he plays with everything else in small bits until he gets bored and wanders off!

Ds3 (7) has 2 much older brothers so has been exposed to people using electronic gadgets from birth. He has fallen heir to everything the rest of the household has finished with so has a laptop, an I-pad, a ds lite, a wii, a mobile phone etc. sometimes he plays with them a fair bit other times, like now, when the weather is good, he hasn't had any of them switched on for weeks. I think if we had forbidden their use when he was younger they would be much more interesting now.

OP, I agree with you in principal. I think there are so many more important and basic things that a 2.6 year old needs to get to grips with before they start learning about technology. Sure he could, for example, complete a simple jigsaw on an iPad and that would be educational. But it would be MORE educational to do an actual real jigsaw. It drives me mad when my 6 year old comes home from school wittering on about what game he's played on the class iPad. I can think of a million more worthwhile ways for him to spend his time!

However, using a computer for maybe 5 minutes a day isn't going to take him away from other educational experiences for very long. And I'm not convinced it's going to be habit forming either - it sounds like it is a huge novelty at the moment. It won't be a novelty for long. Not at that age.

If he's really grabby for it at Nursery then that's their issue to deal with - they created the problem after all! I really don't think it would hurt to just seek some reassurances from them that he won't be on it for more than x amount of time a day if you're really worried.

Like the OP and several other people on this thread, I work in technology. I can totally understand the OP's desire to avoid screen addiction. I don't understand the argument several posters have made that you need to start using tech early (2.6?!) in order not to get left behind - not because I don't understand tech, but because I do. (And I am the opposite of afraid of it, I love new tech.)

Seriously, you can pick up coding RIGHT NOW. There is no magic that means you need to learn it before you're 8 or the window will close forever. Using an iPad won't mysteriously help you to understand finite state automata. Being able to play, figure stuff out, experiment, notice things - all that will, and you can do it in a sandpit as easily as at a computer.

Yes, there are some lovely creative apps, and lovely creative uses of apps, but I wouldn't want my child to spend all his time experiencing the world through them.

One thing I don't quite understand is why some posters think that by limiting a small child's access to a computer you're depriving the child of the opportunity to learn valuable IT skills. Using computers is not actually that difficult and doesn't have to be learned at a really young age; whereas teaching a child to develop concentration and memory to solve problems without the click of a mouse takes years, and is what primary to secondary school education should be promoting.

Personally, I worry that computer use informs small children there's always a short cut out there, one most of us would prefer to take I'm sure, a bit like knowing the chocolate cookies are somewhere in the kitchen. So I'm with the OP, and I would like to know on what research basis Ofsted consider computer access to be of such importance to pre-schoolers - or is it just a burst of overenthusiastic government policy-making influencing the ombudsmen?

it's funny - my sister teaches early years and was shown some footage of baby sitting up and attempting to 'swipe' the pages of a book as if it was an ipad.

I came on to say what strawberry penguin said.

I watch 3yo dd using iPads, computers, phones and I am so excited for her. All the potential of the the technology, intuitive from an early age. Just wow. Why the hell would you stifle that. Regulate, yes, monitor, yes.

I am just excited for her. Lets face it, what will be the earning power of someone with minimal IT experience vs someone sensibly immersed from early on?

My DS did this at pre-school, and to a lesser extent, my dd too. I didn't need to raise the issue, the pre-school did. Their solution was to not have the computer out very often on the days that he was in.

I was very glad when he moved into year 1 and more structured activity as a child led approach in year R for my DS resulted in a dash to the computer whenever he could. He was very good at using it so other children enjoyed just watching him . Something to watch for OP when you are choosing a school.

Interestingly myself and DH have a techie background too, maybe the interest is genetic. It is also interesting that we have limited access to an extent at home as it seems from this thread other posters with a techie background have too.

I really wouldn't worry about it. Most nursery/pre-school classrooms will have a computer these days, but no child is going to be allowed to stay on it for hours. Plus, there are loads of other activities and children to play with at nursery, it's not like just sitting in front of a screen for hours alone at home.

I have no worries about DS missing out on skills by limiting exposure to technology now, if he wants to work with computers an intuition for maths and logical thought processes will take him a lot further than familiarity with what will then be an outdated user interface.

Lets face it, what will be the earning power of someone with minimal IT experience vs someone sensibly immersed from early on?

Are we really going to throw 'earning power' into a discussion about how much time a 2.6 year old should be spending on a computer?

Lets face it, what will be the earning power of someone with minimal IT experience vs someone sensibly immersed from early on?

That's hilarious. You do realise that the fundamentals of IT were created by people who did not grow up with IT?